09-08-2006, 08:32 AM
Friday FT and fun time
<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin--><b>SUCH GUP </b>
<b>Great leap forward</b>
A middling khaki in the real PMâs media outfit is planning a great leap forward. He serves as a media assistant these days but it is said he has his eye on greener pastures. They say he may be trying to maneuver his retirement from khakidom so that he can jump many stages and get inducted into the bureaucracy at Grade 21, if not 22. This will take him to the civilian equivalent of Major General and enable him to become Press Sec to the real PM.
<b>Hugely expensive</b>
Despite advice to the contrary from those who are charged with revamping Pakistanâs image in the world, the government seems hell bent on hiring a hugely expensive and pretty ineffective group of international PR managers. Apparently, this firm is twice as expensive as its nearest competitors and its plan of action is half as detailed. At US $ 1 million plus this PR firm is costing the exchequer a pretty penny, and it had better be worth our money. <!--emo&
--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo-->
+++++
<b>Nuggets from the Urdu press </b>
<b>Honour killing in Rome!</b>
Daily Khabrain reported that Italian citizens were shocked to learn about the murder of a Pakistan girl by her father. The girl was killed by her father with the help of family members and then buried inside the courtyard of their house. The young girl was divorced by her husband of an arranged marriage. Her father said he couldnât tolerate her friendship with an Italian boy. He told police that he didnât want her to become like other Italian girls. The lawyer of her father said he is a very pious man and believes in all the commandants of Holy Quran. <!--emo&--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo-->Â The neighbours of the girlâs house said she was a beautiful girl and used to wear mini skirts.
<b>Why Hindus idols are thirsty?</b>
According to daily Khabrain, thousands of local Muslims flocked to see the miracle of salt water turned into sweet water near the mausoleum of a Muslim saint. The mausoleum is situated on the bank of the ocean near Mumbai. On hearing this great miracle, the prejudiced Hindus spread the rumours that gods have started drinking milk in different temples. Now the situation is out of control and thousands of Hindus have gathered with pots, jugs and other utensils full of milk in front of temples. Scientists said that stone idols can absorb liquids.
<b>London bombers in Bahawalpur!</b>
Daily Pakistan reported that secret agencies have captured nine members of banned organisations and have transferred them to undisclosed locations. The arrested terrorists are from Lashkar e Jhangvi and include one Zaka ullah who has escaped from the Dera Ismail Khan prison. The agencies are looking for others who were also involved in the attack on President Musharraf. .
<b>No songs for us, Please!</b>
As reported daily Nawa-e-Waqt, notice sending expert MD Tahir sent legal notice to the Lahore Arts Council Authorities for holding competition of mehndi songs. The notice said that <span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>song competition is against the tradition of Islam and morality. He wrote that asking women to dress in new clothes and dance with marriage songs for a prize is shameful. This has humiliated the honor of the whole Islamic nation. </span>He urged the Arts Council to stage plays about Tipu Sultan, Tariq bin Ziad and Sultan Salahuddin Ayubi, so that younger generation can learn from the heroes of Islamic history.
<b>Gang rapist women of Gujranwala</b>
Sarerahe stated in daily Nawa-i-Waqt that <span style='color:red'>three women abducted a young man, injected him with drugs and then gang raped him.</span>Â <!--emo&:o--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ohmy.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='ohmy.gif' /><!--endemo--> This shows that man have honour too and women can also do gang rape. These strange happenings have started surfacing even before the parliament passed the amended Hudood Ordinance. Sarerahe also stated that Gujranwala is the city of wrestlers and pious people. But this news of sexual abuse is the indicator of the day of Last Judgment or the coming of enlightened moderators. Sarerahe lamented that these alien sins are being imported to corrupt our pious people.
<b>New Jewish conspiracy</b>
According to daily Nawa-i-Waqt, the Islamic identity of Al Quds city is being threatened and the sacred place of Al Quds is being changed with Jewish identity. According to the report, Aqsa Foundation for the preservation of Islamic heritage has unearthed a plan by Israel to convert Al Quds city into David city.
<b>Zia ul Haq is our hero!</b>
As reported in Daily Pakistan, a seminar was held by Zia ul Haq Foundation in Islamabad. Lt Gen (retd) Hamid Gul said Islam is facing a challenge which can be faced with the strength of faith (jazba e imani). He said what happened in Lebanon proved that Muslims would not accept slavery of the West. Federal Minister Ejaz ul Haq said Hezbollah did not fight for Lebanon but for the whole Islamic world. Mujeeb ur Rehman Shami, Editor of Daily Pakistan, said<b> Zia ul Haq planted the seed of all freedom fighting movements around the world in Afghanistan. Zia was a soldier of Islam </b>and now Westernised women are criticising Hudood Ordinance without having read it. Senator Tahira Latif said if Zia was alive today, Kashmir would have been free. MNA Haneef Abbasi said our rulers changed our Afghan policy on one phone call from America. Prominent journalist Altaf Hussain Qureshi said that Zia ul Haq is the architect of jihad not only in Pakistan but in the whole Islamic world.
<b>Five thousand rupees for Hassan Nasrullah</b>
As reported in Daily Pakistan, famous lawyer MD Tahir has sent the charismatic leader of Hezbollah, Hassan Nasrullah, five thousand rupees and a letter to express his love for the great leader. MD Tahir sent the money and letter through the Pakistan Embassy in Lebanon. He praised Hassan Nasrullahâs bravery and courage to defeat the evil designs of Israel. He wrote that <b>his victory has revived the memory of Jang Badr, and the great sacrifice on the plains of Karbala</b>. He requested Hassan Nasrullah to buy a nice suit with five thousand rupees.Â
<b>66th anniversary of Jamaat Islami</b>
In daily Khabrain magazine, Mian Tufail Mohammad wrote on 66th anniversary of Jamaat Islami that Maulana Maudoodi established Jamaat Islami in 1941 in Lahore with only 75 members. Now Jamaat Islami is the biggest political party in Pakistan with forty one lakhs members. <b>Maulana Maudoodi is the biggest personality after the first Four Caliphs (Khilafat e Rashida). He went to prison to serve Islam</b>. He wrote his book, âTafheem ul Quranâ to guide the Muslim that had gone off the track. Mian Tufail lamented that whenever Muslims got the leadership, there were others who plotted against them.
<b>Osama is not in Chitral</b>
As reported in Daily Pakistan, Chitral MNA Maulana Abdul Akbar Chitrali stated that American report is wrong about the presence of Osama bin Laden in Chitral. He said Chitral is a peaceful area. He said we would not tolerate the presence of FBI and CIA in Chitral. He said the clerical alliance would defend the area till the last drop of their blood is shed.
<b>Money laundering case against Shaukat Aziz!</b>
As reported in daily Jang, spokesman for interior ministry said that ex interior minister Naseerullah Babarâs allegations that warrants were issued to arrest Shaukat Aziz for money laundering are not correct. His spokesman said that interior ministry has all the record of such cases. He said these warrants are issued by the courts and not by the ministry.
<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin--><b>SUCH GUP </b>
<b>Great leap forward</b>
A middling khaki in the real PMâs media outfit is planning a great leap forward. He serves as a media assistant these days but it is said he has his eye on greener pastures. They say he may be trying to maneuver his retirement from khakidom so that he can jump many stages and get inducted into the bureaucracy at Grade 21, if not 22. This will take him to the civilian equivalent of Major General and enable him to become Press Sec to the real PM.
<b>Hugely expensive</b>
Despite advice to the contrary from those who are charged with revamping Pakistanâs image in the world, the government seems hell bent on hiring a hugely expensive and pretty ineffective group of international PR managers. Apparently, this firm is twice as expensive as its nearest competitors and its plan of action is half as detailed. At US $ 1 million plus this PR firm is costing the exchequer a pretty penny, and it had better be worth our money. <!--emo&
--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo--> +++++
<b>Nuggets from the Urdu press </b>
<b>Honour killing in Rome!</b>
Daily Khabrain reported that Italian citizens were shocked to learn about the murder of a Pakistan girl by her father. The girl was killed by her father with the help of family members and then buried inside the courtyard of their house. The young girl was divorced by her husband of an arranged marriage. Her father said he couldnât tolerate her friendship with an Italian boy. He told police that he didnât want her to become like other Italian girls. The lawyer of her father said he is a very pious man and believes in all the commandants of Holy Quran. <!--emo&
--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo-->Â The neighbours of the girlâs house said she was a beautiful girl and used to wear mini skirts. <b>Why Hindus idols are thirsty?</b>
According to daily Khabrain, thousands of local Muslims flocked to see the miracle of salt water turned into sweet water near the mausoleum of a Muslim saint. The mausoleum is situated on the bank of the ocean near Mumbai. On hearing this great miracle, the prejudiced Hindus spread the rumours that gods have started drinking milk in different temples. Now the situation is out of control and thousands of Hindus have gathered with pots, jugs and other utensils full of milk in front of temples. Scientists said that stone idols can absorb liquids.
<b>London bombers in Bahawalpur!</b>
Daily Pakistan reported that secret agencies have captured nine members of banned organisations and have transferred them to undisclosed locations. The arrested terrorists are from Lashkar e Jhangvi and include one Zaka ullah who has escaped from the Dera Ismail Khan prison. The agencies are looking for others who were also involved in the attack on President Musharraf. .
<b>No songs for us, Please!</b>
As reported daily Nawa-e-Waqt, notice sending expert MD Tahir sent legal notice to the Lahore Arts Council Authorities for holding competition of mehndi songs. The notice said that <span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>song competition is against the tradition of Islam and morality. He wrote that asking women to dress in new clothes and dance with marriage songs for a prize is shameful. This has humiliated the honor of the whole Islamic nation. </span>He urged the Arts Council to stage plays about Tipu Sultan, Tariq bin Ziad and Sultan Salahuddin Ayubi, so that younger generation can learn from the heroes of Islamic history.
<b>Gang rapist women of Gujranwala</b>
Sarerahe stated in daily Nawa-i-Waqt that <span style='color:red'>three women abducted a young man, injected him with drugs and then gang raped him.</span>Â <!--emo&:o--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ohmy.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='ohmy.gif' /><!--endemo--> This shows that man have honour too and women can also do gang rape. These strange happenings have started surfacing even before the parliament passed the amended Hudood Ordinance. Sarerahe also stated that Gujranwala is the city of wrestlers and pious people. But this news of sexual abuse is the indicator of the day of Last Judgment or the coming of enlightened moderators. Sarerahe lamented that these alien sins are being imported to corrupt our pious people.
<b>New Jewish conspiracy</b>
According to daily Nawa-i-Waqt, the Islamic identity of Al Quds city is being threatened and the sacred place of Al Quds is being changed with Jewish identity. According to the report, Aqsa Foundation for the preservation of Islamic heritage has unearthed a plan by Israel to convert Al Quds city into David city.
<b>Zia ul Haq is our hero!</b>
As reported in Daily Pakistan, a seminar was held by Zia ul Haq Foundation in Islamabad. Lt Gen (retd) Hamid Gul said Islam is facing a challenge which can be faced with the strength of faith (jazba e imani). He said what happened in Lebanon proved that Muslims would not accept slavery of the West. Federal Minister Ejaz ul Haq said Hezbollah did not fight for Lebanon but for the whole Islamic world. Mujeeb ur Rehman Shami, Editor of Daily Pakistan, said<b> Zia ul Haq planted the seed of all freedom fighting movements around the world in Afghanistan. Zia was a soldier of Islam </b>and now Westernised women are criticising Hudood Ordinance without having read it. Senator Tahira Latif said if Zia was alive today, Kashmir would have been free. MNA Haneef Abbasi said our rulers changed our Afghan policy on one phone call from America. Prominent journalist Altaf Hussain Qureshi said that Zia ul Haq is the architect of jihad not only in Pakistan but in the whole Islamic world.
<b>Five thousand rupees for Hassan Nasrullah</b>
As reported in Daily Pakistan, famous lawyer MD Tahir has sent the charismatic leader of Hezbollah, Hassan Nasrullah, five thousand rupees and a letter to express his love for the great leader. MD Tahir sent the money and letter through the Pakistan Embassy in Lebanon. He praised Hassan Nasrullahâs bravery and courage to defeat the evil designs of Israel. He wrote that <b>his victory has revived the memory of Jang Badr, and the great sacrifice on the plains of Karbala</b>. He requested Hassan Nasrullah to buy a nice suit with five thousand rupees.Â
<b>66th anniversary of Jamaat Islami</b>
In daily Khabrain magazine, Mian Tufail Mohammad wrote on 66th anniversary of Jamaat Islami that Maulana Maudoodi established Jamaat Islami in 1941 in Lahore with only 75 members. Now Jamaat Islami is the biggest political party in Pakistan with forty one lakhs members. <b>Maulana Maudoodi is the biggest personality after the first Four Caliphs (Khilafat e Rashida). He went to prison to serve Islam</b>. He wrote his book, âTafheem ul Quranâ to guide the Muslim that had gone off the track. Mian Tufail lamented that whenever Muslims got the leadership, there were others who plotted against them.
<b>Osama is not in Chitral</b>
As reported in Daily Pakistan, Chitral MNA Maulana Abdul Akbar Chitrali stated that American report is wrong about the presence of Osama bin Laden in Chitral. He said Chitral is a peaceful area. He said we would not tolerate the presence of FBI and CIA in Chitral. He said the clerical alliance would defend the area till the last drop of their blood is shed.
<b>Money laundering case against Shaukat Aziz!</b>
As reported in daily Jang, spokesman for interior ministry said that ex interior minister Naseerullah Babarâs allegations that warrants were issued to arrest Shaukat Aziz for money laundering are not correct. His spokesman said that interior ministry has all the record of such cases. He said these warrants are issued by the courts and not by the ministry.
<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->