Hmm! I just got this from my contacts at RealIndiaNews:
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RIN (Mumbai): Today we had the privilege of interviewing Professor Romila Macaulay-Matthew, adjunct scholarly advisor to the Indian Harvest Organization, associate dean of Takht-e-Aurangzeb University, retained chairperson of the South Asians for South Asia Trust; and recently Knighted by Her Majesty the Queen of England for her "invaluable and reassuring contributions to reconstructing Indian history", as the Royal Committee for Knighting put it.
RIN: Professor Macaulay-Matthew, it is an honour to meet you. I should be addressing you as Lady Professor Macaulay-Matthew, actually..
Professor Macaulay-Matthew: Actually I prefer Professor Lady Macaulay-Matthew..
RIN: Absloutely. Professor Lady Macaulay-Matthew, I know your time is precious. Let me start by asking you about your most recent project: the Brown Natives Upliftment Initiative..
PLMM: Yes. You see, being born of an Indian mother and an English Father has put me in a unique situation. I can understand the Hindoo Natives' plight from a civilized perspective. I feel a pull, a deep yearning, a subtle sense of obligation, a moral responsibility, and a heartfelt, gut-wrenching, agonizing..
RIN: In the interests of your time, Professor Lady, I would like to ask you to summarize your thoughts for the readers..
PLMM: Ah! How can I encapsulate the unencapsulable? Well, let me try: I want to lift up the brown natives. The ignorant idolators. The wretched waifs. The superstitious sub-humans. The..
RIN: Yes, we get the picture..
PLMM: The BNUI..
RIN: BNUI?
PLMM: Brown Natives Upliftment Initiative..
RIN: Yes, of course. Sorry..
PLMM: As I was saying, the BNUI is a serious effort to give every Brown person the upliftment he or she deserves. Uplift the untouchables. Save the Satis. Warm the hearts of the poor snake charmers. Cool the brow of the burdened coolie. Show the..Yes, Wellesley?
My butler is gesticulating animatedly from the parlour..What is it, Wellesley?
Wellesley (apologetically): Ma'm your speaking engagement at the Aluminium
Industry..
PLMM: Well, thank you, Wellesley! I must run; I promised to talk at the anniversary celebrations of the SA-FOIL, the south asian aluminium conglomerate..well, we simply must meet again, dear..
RIN: We will, Lady Professor..
PLMM: Professor Lady..
RIN: Um..sorry, that was what I meant to say. Goodbye, Professor Lady Macaulay-Matthew.
PLMM: Well, ta-ta. Is the Sumo ready, Wellesley?
Wellesley: Waiting for you downstairs, Ma'm.
This is RIN.
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RealIndiaNews
We attempt to enlighten. Ourselves, mostly.
*******************************************
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RIN (Mumbai): Today we had the privilege of interviewing Professor Romila Macaulay-Matthew, adjunct scholarly advisor to the Indian Harvest Organization, associate dean of Takht-e-Aurangzeb University, retained chairperson of the South Asians for South Asia Trust; and recently Knighted by Her Majesty the Queen of England for her "invaluable and reassuring contributions to reconstructing Indian history", as the Royal Committee for Knighting put it.
RIN: Professor Macaulay-Matthew, it is an honour to meet you. I should be addressing you as Lady Professor Macaulay-Matthew, actually..
Professor Macaulay-Matthew: Actually I prefer Professor Lady Macaulay-Matthew..
RIN: Absloutely. Professor Lady Macaulay-Matthew, I know your time is precious. Let me start by asking you about your most recent project: the Brown Natives Upliftment Initiative..
PLMM: Yes. You see, being born of an Indian mother and an English Father has put me in a unique situation. I can understand the Hindoo Natives' plight from a civilized perspective. I feel a pull, a deep yearning, a subtle sense of obligation, a moral responsibility, and a heartfelt, gut-wrenching, agonizing..
RIN: In the interests of your time, Professor Lady, I would like to ask you to summarize your thoughts for the readers..
PLMM: Ah! How can I encapsulate the unencapsulable? Well, let me try: I want to lift up the brown natives. The ignorant idolators. The wretched waifs. The superstitious sub-humans. The..
RIN: Yes, we get the picture..
PLMM: The BNUI..
RIN: BNUI?
PLMM: Brown Natives Upliftment Initiative..
RIN: Yes, of course. Sorry..
PLMM: As I was saying, the BNUI is a serious effort to give every Brown person the upliftment he or she deserves. Uplift the untouchables. Save the Satis. Warm the hearts of the poor snake charmers. Cool the brow of the burdened coolie. Show the..Yes, Wellesley?
My butler is gesticulating animatedly from the parlour..What is it, Wellesley?
Wellesley (apologetically): Ma'm your speaking engagement at the Aluminium
Industry..
PLMM: Well, thank you, Wellesley! I must run; I promised to talk at the anniversary celebrations of the SA-FOIL, the south asian aluminium conglomerate..well, we simply must meet again, dear..
RIN: We will, Lady Professor..
PLMM: Professor Lady..
RIN: Um..sorry, that was what I meant to say. Goodbye, Professor Lady Macaulay-Matthew.
PLMM: Well, ta-ta. Is the Sumo ready, Wellesley?
Wellesley: Waiting for you downstairs, Ma'm.
This is RIN.
*******************************************
RealIndiaNews
We attempt to enlighten. Ourselves, mostly.
*******************************************