01-06-2005, 12:10 PM
I am able to see lot of replies made. I am trying to answer them collectively :
Mudy Quoted:
<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin-->Raja, What you will do?
One day, if your girl child, probably 15 years, comes back to you saying that she is pregnant, how will you feel ?
<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
If this was not her mistake, I will punish the person involved as mentioned by Sunder. If it was her mistake, then I have failed in my responsibilities as a father. Either I have not educated her appropriately (and/or) I have provided her an environment which provokes her to commit such errors (and/or) I have given that âextra freedomâ for her etc.
<i><b>Pls see my point of argument here, my responsibility levels as a father resulting in controls imposed on my girl child for her well being.</b></i>
<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin-->What is your reaction when you see someone in see through dress or in covered dress?
What you think when you see woman covered with Burka?
What is your reaction when you see woman in work place or your wife decides to go to different city for education?
<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Mudy, If you ask me, I will feel pity for a girl who has not covered her body as she is not educated with what is called âhuman senseâ . I will term her as âProstituteâ for exposing the parts of the body to others. I am sorry to say this blandly.
I do not have any issue in women at my workplace or if my wife goes to a different city for education as long as the underlying fundamentals are not violated - Typical examples for this underlying fundamentals as I see is, giving importance to family, Avoiding illegal sexual relationships etc. You may term this as 'responsibility', but my opinion is that there should be some rules to govern this responsibility and it should not be loose ended. ( pls understand , it is applicable to both men and women . However, I am now discussing only on women as it is the subject )
<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin-->Raja Quoted:
1.Proper communication -- Try to mutually communicate the issues and have a good understanding
2. Mutual understanding --- Try to close this with the mutual understanding between us
3. Give and take policy --- If it cannot be closed by mutual understanding, See whether one of us can sacrifice their viewpoint and allow the interest of the other without any damage to the underlying fundamentals .
4. Final Call --- If by all these, we are not able to arrive at any solution, I will take the final call as the HEAD of the family. Here comes what I call "submission".
Viren Quoted :
If first 3 you've listed are firm then there really isn't the need for one to 'submit' to the other, fourth point is redundant. Consider a relationship between two friends where there'll be agreements and disagreements where the two will find a way out no matter how contentious the issue is. Submissions of one or not might be good for the bloated egos onlee.
<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Viren, Pls tell us frankly, have you not faced a situation where there is no consensus arrived after going through the first three points ? If so, you are really lucky !!
Pls tell us , IN REALITY, how many couples are able to solve all the issues within the first three points at all times ? Let us not talk theory ! What you suggest if it is not solved within the 3 points ? You suggest a âDIVORCEâ ?? (or) you suggest individual to take their own call without considering the interest of the family (or) what else. Let us talk about the exceptions also here. Let us make it black and white ! There is no question of ego here.
Ashok, let me clarify, Neither I mean âmurderâ nor "islam" when I say âsubmissionâ.
Personally, I feel the responses talk too much on the theory rather than looking into the practicality. The point I am debating is on the "controlled freedom" to be excercised by women (ofcourse, the controlled freedom is applicable to men also. Time and again, I am repeating, it is not discussed here because it is a different topic altogether) to have a good culture and a successful family life.
Mudy Quoted:
<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin-->Raja, What you will do?
One day, if your girl child, probably 15 years, comes back to you saying that she is pregnant, how will you feel ?
<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
If this was not her mistake, I will punish the person involved as mentioned by Sunder. If it was her mistake, then I have failed in my responsibilities as a father. Either I have not educated her appropriately (and/or) I have provided her an environment which provokes her to commit such errors (and/or) I have given that âextra freedomâ for her etc.
<i><b>Pls see my point of argument here, my responsibility levels as a father resulting in controls imposed on my girl child for her well being.</b></i>
<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin-->What is your reaction when you see someone in see through dress or in covered dress?
What you think when you see woman covered with Burka?
What is your reaction when you see woman in work place or your wife decides to go to different city for education?
<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Mudy, If you ask me, I will feel pity for a girl who has not covered her body as she is not educated with what is called âhuman senseâ . I will term her as âProstituteâ for exposing the parts of the body to others. I am sorry to say this blandly.
I do not have any issue in women at my workplace or if my wife goes to a different city for education as long as the underlying fundamentals are not violated - Typical examples for this underlying fundamentals as I see is, giving importance to family, Avoiding illegal sexual relationships etc. You may term this as 'responsibility', but my opinion is that there should be some rules to govern this responsibility and it should not be loose ended. ( pls understand , it is applicable to both men and women . However, I am now discussing only on women as it is the subject )
<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin-->Raja Quoted:
1.Proper communication -- Try to mutually communicate the issues and have a good understanding
2. Mutual understanding --- Try to close this with the mutual understanding between us
3. Give and take policy --- If it cannot be closed by mutual understanding, See whether one of us can sacrifice their viewpoint and allow the interest of the other without any damage to the underlying fundamentals .
4. Final Call --- If by all these, we are not able to arrive at any solution, I will take the final call as the HEAD of the family. Here comes what I call "submission".
Viren Quoted :
If first 3 you've listed are firm then there really isn't the need for one to 'submit' to the other, fourth point is redundant. Consider a relationship between two friends where there'll be agreements and disagreements where the two will find a way out no matter how contentious the issue is. Submissions of one or not might be good for the bloated egos onlee.
<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Viren, Pls tell us frankly, have you not faced a situation where there is no consensus arrived after going through the first three points ? If so, you are really lucky !!
Pls tell us , IN REALITY, how many couples are able to solve all the issues within the first three points at all times ? Let us not talk theory ! What you suggest if it is not solved within the 3 points ? You suggest a âDIVORCEâ ?? (or) you suggest individual to take their own call without considering the interest of the family (or) what else. Let us talk about the exceptions also here. Let us make it black and white ! There is no question of ego here.
Ashok, let me clarify, Neither I mean âmurderâ nor "islam" when I say âsubmissionâ.
Personally, I feel the responses talk too much on the theory rather than looking into the practicality. The point I am debating is on the "controlled freedom" to be excercised by women (ofcourse, the controlled freedom is applicable to men also. Time and again, I am repeating, it is not discussed here because it is a different topic altogether) to have a good culture and a successful family life.