04-15-2005, 01:55 PM
Im sure many of you resonate with this.
<b>A Woman's Recollection</b>
If there were
enough people living their egalitarian principles in day to day life,
a lot of non-brahmanas would have been touched by at least one such
soul, and would not stereotype the brahmanas.
I had an equally previliged upbringing. My father involved in no
particular project, but he has always lived a life of sensitivity and
respect to everyone that came in contact with him - everyone. He had
no particluar ideology about communism or social reform but just led a
life unfearingly full of good manners, concern and thoughtfulness
shown to everyone around him.
Those were the times when the domestic help had to use only the back-
door for entry into the house, would clean cooking and eating
utensils, but not allowed to wash pooja samaan, would dust and clean
the bathrooms, toilets and other rooms but not the kitchen or pooja,
would wash all clothes except the clothes related to pooja. In our
house it was all the opposite. The help was always asked to use the
front door, would sweep and clean all rooms including kitchen and
pooja, but the bathrooms and toilets we had to do ourselves, would
wash all clothes including pooja clothes but the undergarments we had
to do ourselves, would wash all utensils and pooja utensils, but we
had to wash our eaten plates ourselves. When we gave food to the help
to carry home, she took vessels that we normally use, no separate
containers.
He invited every newly married person in his office home for a lunch,
whether an officer or the janitor. While bade-saabs used to just hand
a bunch of notes as gift when peons and sweepers gave them marriage
invitations, my father would actually attend every wedding and has
partaken many meals in the poorest dalit weddings.
Even in those days he greeted and thanked everyone for everything like
they do in the west - rikshaw drivers, conducters, lift-operators, our
electrician, plumber etc. I remember how many of them used to be too
shocked to even respond to that. But unlike the formality that it is
in the west, he did it very sincerely and genuinely, even if it looked
very odd.
He had good friends among the brahmins as well as DK supporters. He
got along well with his seniors although he always fought for the best
for those working under him. To this day, he never spouts any big
words, but quietly leads a very gracefully inclusive existence. His DK
friends would always say 'if even half the brahmanas were like you,
this movement would never have started.'
If we take care of things at a personal level, there would
never be the need for salvaging anything through public efforts.
oru paanai corrukku oru coru pothum. One grain is enough to make an
assessment of cookedness for an entire pot of rice. If we all
positively touch people's lives in our personal lives, we dont have to
hear these comments about evil brahmins or evil kashatriyas or
whatever. I am not saying that the brahmanas who dont live like this
are all evil, but perhaps come out looking a little thoughtlessly
elitist. Elitism happens everywhere when there are class differences,
but in India there is also the caste factor that is involved. So the
bitterness towards this display of elitism becomes more intense. And
for most part, behavioural changes dont happen even if there is no
elitism involved. It is sometimes due to a certain awkwardness about
doing things differently, just shyness and lack of courage to look and
act different.
Regards,
Sugrutha
<b>A Woman's Recollection</b>
If there were
enough people living their egalitarian principles in day to day life,
a lot of non-brahmanas would have been touched by at least one such
soul, and would not stereotype the brahmanas.
I had an equally previliged upbringing. My father involved in no
particular project, but he has always lived a life of sensitivity and
respect to everyone that came in contact with him - everyone. He had
no particluar ideology about communism or social reform but just led a
life unfearingly full of good manners, concern and thoughtfulness
shown to everyone around him.
Those were the times when the domestic help had to use only the back-
door for entry into the house, would clean cooking and eating
utensils, but not allowed to wash pooja samaan, would dust and clean
the bathrooms, toilets and other rooms but not the kitchen or pooja,
would wash all clothes except the clothes related to pooja. In our
house it was all the opposite. The help was always asked to use the
front door, would sweep and clean all rooms including kitchen and
pooja, but the bathrooms and toilets we had to do ourselves, would
wash all clothes including pooja clothes but the undergarments we had
to do ourselves, would wash all utensils and pooja utensils, but we
had to wash our eaten plates ourselves. When we gave food to the help
to carry home, she took vessels that we normally use, no separate
containers.
He invited every newly married person in his office home for a lunch,
whether an officer or the janitor. While bade-saabs used to just hand
a bunch of notes as gift when peons and sweepers gave them marriage
invitations, my father would actually attend every wedding and has
partaken many meals in the poorest dalit weddings.
Even in those days he greeted and thanked everyone for everything like
they do in the west - rikshaw drivers, conducters, lift-operators, our
electrician, plumber etc. I remember how many of them used to be too
shocked to even respond to that. But unlike the formality that it is
in the west, he did it very sincerely and genuinely, even if it looked
very odd.
He had good friends among the brahmins as well as DK supporters. He
got along well with his seniors although he always fought for the best
for those working under him. To this day, he never spouts any big
words, but quietly leads a very gracefully inclusive existence. His DK
friends would always say 'if even half the brahmanas were like you,
this movement would never have started.'
If we take care of things at a personal level, there would
never be the need for salvaging anything through public efforts.
oru paanai corrukku oru coru pothum. One grain is enough to make an
assessment of cookedness for an entire pot of rice. If we all
positively touch people's lives in our personal lives, we dont have to
hear these comments about evil brahmins or evil kashatriyas or
whatever. I am not saying that the brahmanas who dont live like this
are all evil, but perhaps come out looking a little thoughtlessly
elitist. Elitism happens everywhere when there are class differences,
but in India there is also the caste factor that is involved. So the
bitterness towards this display of elitism becomes more intense. And
for most part, behavioural changes dont happen even if there is no
elitism involved. It is sometimes due to a certain awkwardness about
doing things differently, just shyness and lack of courage to look and
act different.
Regards,
Sugrutha