We Are Like This Onlee - 2

Capt M Kumar · 05-23-2008, 03:52 AM

<!--emo&

--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /> 18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2,
which I had used for years without any trouble
However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and
the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound
turned off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with
several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5,
and Playboy 6.9. Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better

I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and
left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for
several weeks. Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and
Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two
systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to FiancÃ©e 1.0, only to discover that this
product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0
tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with
FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse2004. Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were
automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted.

They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.
Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and
can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Whinge. These latter
products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the
problem is. Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating
regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and
Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week.
Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab 93 Convertible hard
drive, it often crashes.

Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw,
which can't be turned off. Recently I've been tempted to install
Mistress 2003, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has
alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2003, it
tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself.
Help requested please?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
re: Dear Technical Support -
I also have Wife 1.0
but you should be aware that FreeSexPlus is limited to a 30-day trial and
after that you have to buy RedLight 2.0 which is very expensive. Also
it's almost impossible to get hold of RL2 as Wife 1.0 hogs all the bandwidth.
Cleanhouse 2004 is shareware and the only way to keep it going is to
do your share or you get inundated with nag-screens.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
re: Dear Technical Support - Heh heh! Brilliant!
What you need to do, obviously, is obtain a couple of key software packages,
that can help alleviate your problem. The first is DogWalk 3.2, which
can be used to re-activate LadsNight Out, Although you need to be
running MobilePhoneBatteryFailure 1.4, in order for this to work properly.

The second is GardenShedTools 5, which will enable the continued use
of Playboy 6.9 and even Razzle 8, although trying to use
ReadersWivesSpecial 4.3 could lead to your hardware being infected by
the AmINotEnoughForYou worm.
Last, but not least, is BeautySallonVoucher 7, which, if run
regularly, can clear up a whole host of other issues, such as TurboStop and
Whinge,
and can lead to enhanced FreeSexPlus and FavouriteDinner 2.3. With
regular updates, you may even find that Football 4.5 works, although
overuse is not recommended. BeautySallonVoucher 7 is expensive, however,

But well
worth the investment. Especially as most people tell me that
SayingILoveYouRegularly 10.6 is now so unreliable as to be downright
dangerous.
Hope all this helps, and that your hardware and software can remain
trouble-free; although as we all know, when Wife 1.0 is involved,
nothing is guaranteed.

06-04-2008, 08:49 PM

QUOTE<b>A family feud in a sacred Indian city </b>

By SAM DOLNICK

RISHIKESH, India - On the banks of a holy river, two chubby rivals sit feet apart in front of side-by-side restaurants. Each day, the two men with long ponytails and pink makeup compete for the lunch crowd's attention.

They are both dressed as 'Chotiwala,' a homegrown Ronald McDonald-type character whose jaunty image is plastered across two warring restaurants on a scruffy street in the sacred city of Rishikesh, about 125 miles northeast of New Delhi.

There's no parable about modern India here. There are just two cousins glaring at each other across a divided restaurant, a disputed legacy, a fat mascot, and hordes of hungry customers.

"I have said sorry to him so many times," said 47-year-old Shailesh Agarwal, one of the heirs to the Chotiwala restaurant. "I said 'Just forgive me, brother.' But he's a very rigid person, he doesn't forgive. He keeps remembering old things."

Devout Hindus make pilgrimages to this north Indian town, a haven for holy men drawn to the cliff-top temples above the rushing Ganges river. But Rishikesh is also a center for tourist schlock and tacky trinkets, its streets a teeming maze of middle-class Indians, dreadlocked Europeans, charlatan prophets and stoned backpackers.

In the center of it all, a family battle over Chotiwala rages into its second decade.

In India, families are tight-knit and grown children are expected to live with their parents and stay close with their siblings. When they get along, it fosters devoted extended families caring for one another from infancy to old age; when they fight, the feuds can turn operatic.

The Chotiwala troubles date back to their fathers, the Agarwal brothers, who opened Chotiwala in 1958, a decade before the Beatles would visit and make Rishikesh famous.

The simple vegetarian food was popular with pilgrims and tourists alike and Chotiwala became a landmark, as did the actor they hired to dress up as the mascot â a cartoon Brahmin with a traditional braid. ('Chotiwala' means 'Braided Man' in Hindi.)

After the elder founder died in 1990, the sons took over and found Chotiwala wasn't big enough for the two of them.

In 1995, the cousins built a wall to divide the restaurant and resolved to run two adjacent Chotiwalas as separate businesses. They both kept the name, they both kept the logo and they both hired a Chotiwala actor to sit in front of their split, rival inheritances.

They haven't spoken since.

"Why should we talk?" sniffed Dinesh Agarwal, 54, from his side of the division.

Inside the restaurants, the smell of enmity mixes with the aroma of spicy lentils.

The walls are plastered with taunts: Dinesh framed a poster-sized copyright statement threatening lawsuits against brand theft. Shailesh hung old photographs of the original restaurant, implying a stronger link to the founders.

The cousins have hired rival waiters, chefs and a series of actors to play Chotiwala and each employee is recruited into the feud.

Ram Bisht, a stocky man who plays Shailesh's Chotiwala, says he's friendly with the other actor when they are outside of work.

"But inside," he said, lowering his voice, "we are Pakistan-India."

The comparison is perhaps an apt one â like Chotiwala, the two South Asian nations were one colony before an unhappy partition split them into two. The 1947 division marked the twin birth of Pakistan and India as independent countries and created a sibling rivalry that has spawned three wars and nuclear threats.

Family rivalries are common across the world, of course, but they are especially familiar in India. The Mahabharata, one of the great Hindu epics, is the story of a war between two branches of a family fighting for an empire.

Two of the wealthiest men in India, the Ambani brothers, feuded over the ownership structure of Reliance Group, one of the country's largest companies, which their father founded, before splitting the conglomerate in two.

Like subcontinental Hatfields and McCoys, the Agarwals keep feuding. Both claim to be the real Chotiwala, and in a sense, they're both right because both are legitimate heirs, but they're both wrong because the original Chotiwala has been lost.

But the cousins can't even agree about what they're fighting over.

Shailesh believes he was the favored heir and Dinesh has nursed his jealousy for decades. Dinesh just says it's an ancient dispute, "a family problem."

"Disagreements happen," he says with a shrug.

With customers lining up for tables and one of the Chotiwala actors bouncing a tourist's baby on his ample lap, Dinesh surveyed his divided kingdom and mulled over a suggested truce.

"Not yet," he said finally. "Maybe in the future."

For now, though, the spirits of their fathers, the founders of Chotiwala, hover uneasily over the warring restaurants.

"Wherever they are, they are not liking us separately," said Shailesh. "I can feel they are not happy with this. And me too â I am not happy about this."

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080604/ap_on_...H1il_CMoqOs0NUE



<!--emo& Big Grin

--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' />

06-09-2008, 01:15 AM

Capt M Kumar · 06-13-2008, 12:56 AM

<!--emo&

--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /> Vidhayak pan masala
12 Jun 2008, 1103 hrs IST, PTI

LUCKNOW: What's in a name? Apparently a lot if you are an MLA in UP where a pan masala called Vidhayak has angered a lawmaker who has moved a contempt notice in the assembly against the manufacturer and officer involved in giving permission for the sale of the "humiliating" product.

The Uttar Pradesh Vidhan Sabha secretariat is now on a mission of identifying those running the pan masala unit and departments and officers involved in giving registration, license and permission for its sale.

According to MLA Ishwar Chandra Shukla, Vidhayak Masal humiliates MLAs and those running or involved in giving permission to run the unit should be punished.

Shukla had moved privilege and contempt of House notices against the manager of the firm manufacturing it and officers involved in giving permission for the sale of the "humiliating masala ".

The problem for the Vidhan Sabha secretariat started after a notice was received on January 21 last during the assembly session and since then it has been trying to find out the concerned department responsible for its sale.

"In the past four months, the secretariat had written letters to minor industries, Tax and Registration, Home and Trade Tax departments but all of them feigned ignorance about the pan masala unit allegedly being run in the state capital", Principal Secretary, Vidhan Sabha, Rajendra Prasad Pandey told reporters.

As the matter is to be put before Vidhan Sabha Speaker Sukhdeo Rajbhar for taking a final decision, the information about the unit and officers involved in the process is a must.

07-11-2008, 08:08 PM

Subject: Walking Eagle

âWalking Eagleâ Senator BARACK OBAMA was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation two weeks ago in upstate New York. HE spoke for almost an hour on HIS future plans for increasing every Native Americanâs present standard of living, should HE one day become the President. HE referred to his career as a Senator, how he had signed âYESâ for every Indian issue that came to his desk for approval. Although the Senator was vague on the details of his plan, he seemed most enthusiastic about his future ideas for helping his âred sisters and brothersâ.

At the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes presented the Senator with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name - Walking Eagle. The proud Senator then departed in his motorcade, waving to the crowds.

A news reporter later inquired to the group of chiefs of how they came to select the new name had given to the Senator. They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of s h i t it can no longer fly.

Capt M Kumar · 07-20-2008, 06:31 AM

<!--emo&

--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /> Loo and behold!
NEW DELHI: India has the highest number of people who defecate in the open. Numbers released on Thursday by the World Health Organisation and UNICEF revealed that 1.2 billion people practise open defecation globally â 83% of whom live in 13 countries including India.

In sheer numbers, 665 million Indians defecate in the open followed by 66 million in Indonesia, 52 million in Ethiopia, 50 million in Pakistan, 37 million in China, 29 million in Nigeria and 18 million each in Brazil and Bangladesh.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/India/O...how/3254576.cms

ramana · 07-20-2008, 06:56 AM

Naipaul was famous for finding defecation everywhere in India and his books are sprinkled with this phenomenon.

07-21-2008, 08:02 PM

<b>Retired Person Having Fun </b>
QUOTEWorking people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their day interesting.

Well, for example, the other day. I went downtown and into a shop. I was only there for about five minutes and when I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

I said to him, "come on man, how about giving a retired person a break?"
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a "Nazi." He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires. So, I called him a "doughnut eating Gestapo." He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third ticket. This went on for about twenty minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn't care. I had come downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said "Obama in 08".

I try to have a little fun each day now that I am retired. It's important to my health.
They say he is having trouble with this voting bloc......

07-25-2008, 04:50 AM

joke forwarded via email....
QUOTE
Prakash Karat, Communist Leader Supremo was seated next to a little 5th grade girl on the airplane when Karat turned to her and said, 'Let's talk.'
I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'
Oh, I don't know', said Karat . 'How about nuclear power?'
'OK'. she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first:
'A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'
Prakash Karat turns towards Yechury in dismay .Thinks about it and says,
'Hmmm, I have no idea.'
To which the little girl replies:
'Do you really feel qualified to discuss
nuclear power when you don't know sh1t

Shambhu · 07-27-2008, 12:37 AM

Beauty of Mathematics !!!!!!!

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn't it?

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321

Capt M Kumar · 08-03-2008, 09:50 AM

<!--emo&

--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' />
Min translation:
In Bangladesh, beggars have asked min alms to be fixed.

08-05-2008, 08:58 PM

VIP "no adjust" ad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZlb9MFSwzY

Capt M Kumar · 08-06-2008, 12:29 AM

<!--emo&

--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /> A woman bought a whole range of cosmetics to knock years off her age. After five hours applying the various creams and potions, she asked her husband:

"Tell me honestly, dear, what age to you think I look?"

He looked at her for a moment and said, "From your skin -- 21. From your hair --18. From your figure -- 23."

"Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed.

"Wait a minute," he said, "I haven't added them up yet."

Capt M Kumar · 08-07-2008, 10:55 PM

<!--emo&

Capt M Kumar · 08-13-2008, 01:44 PM

<!--emo&

--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tongue.gif' /> some comments on:
http://www.mypopkorn.com/blogs/celebritybl...tml?blogid=MjQ=

prime minister jaldi bana de, chappad phad ke
by paddox on 25 Jul 2008 9:33 pm

bhaiya mere Lalu, aap hain parle daarje ke chalu,Nitish ne Railway me kiya mehnat, aap ukhad rahen hain Aalu.Aalu ukhad ukhad aap -- pahunch gaye Japan,Railway mein Profit kaise hua, diya Management ka gayan.Management ka Jadu aapne Havard Ko bhi banta,Baas ! Bihar mein jane kaise -- lag gaya aapko ghata.Bihar ko andhera kar -- central panhuche aap,Parmanu Shakti sikha rahe -- Lalten lieye hath.Lalten Lieye Hath -- Loksabha mein Filmi Geet Bagharen,Lalu ki dosti Lal se -- kabhi na tutega re.Kabhi na tutega sambandh, Bam -- chahe kidhar bhi baitho,Pradhan Mantri ki Kursi par -- Najar Lalu ka hai jo.Najar Kursi par hai -- Magar, Jaldibaji nahin hai,Baki sara baker ki bak bak, Lalu ki bat sahi hai.Lalu ka Chara Ghotala - Ek din dab jayega,Mayabati ne kiya kya hai, CBI batlayega.Lalu Bhaiya Bihar se, Duniya mein bana rahen pahchan,Dekh Laluayei mat hanso, aagar tum ko hai Gayan.Aagar tumko hai Gayan Diwano, Lalu ko pahchano,Amitabh to tha Filmi Don, aab saccha Don ko jano.Sahabu,Pappu jaise kitne sher chita ghariyal,Lalu Jungalraj ke sainik ,Dushman Bhura Bal.Lalu Baanie Prime Minister , Jaldi Jaldi Aap,Bihar Ka Nnam Uupar Ho, Bhhale Ho Desh Ka Ppata Saff.

Capt M Kumar · 08-13-2008, 02:55 PM

<img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tv_feliz.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tv_feliz.gif' /> Solitary Kinng
Manish Sirhindi
Tribune News Service

Panipat, August 12
A local Singh today proved his craze for âSingh is Kinngâ by hiring one of the cinemas at a local multiplex for three hours to watch the much-talked-about movie all alone to celebrate his birthday by paying a hefty amount.

Manjit Singh (45) paid Rs 1 lakh to the owner of a local multiplex to watch the movie from 4 pm to 7 pm.

He said he was a true Sikh and had heard that the movie depicted the true character of Sikhs and also highlighted Sikh values like friendship and their spirit to help others. That is why he decided to treat himself by watching the movie all alone on his 45th birthday.

Speaking to some mediapersons after the show was over, he said after watching the movie he had become a diehard fan of Akshay Kumar and would soon try and meet him in person to appreciate his work.

He said Sikhs had made great sacrifices for the nation and the manner in which the Sikhs had been highlighted in the movie was commendable.

Manjit, a resident of the local Gheraraina colony, who was wearing a lot of gold jewellery, said he would soon donating Rs 1 lakh for the poor and needy in the city.

Earlier, before watching the evening show of the movie, Manjit Singh had a party with his family and friends.

Though some stated that Manjit's act was a publicity stunt to promote the movie and it had been paid by the producers of the movie, Manjit denied it by saying that he had just fulfilled his wish.

Shambhu · (This post was last modified: 08-14-2008, 12:44 AM by Shambhu.)

Got this from SABHA:

A joke about a call center in Pakistan has been doing the rounds for a while.

I was feeling a little suicidal the other day and decided to phone the suicide hotline. A Pakistani man answered the phone. I told him I was feeling suicidal. He got all excited and asked me if I could drive a truck or fly a plane.

--------
http://www.sabha.info/archive.html
Read each one .. lots of fun

---------------------
In the Jan 25 2007 issue:

Franklin Graham, the son of Christian evangelist Billy Graham, is now waiting for his father to die so that he can build an amusement part around the grave and charge tourists money for visiting the place. He has even hired consultants who worked for Walt Disney Corporation!
The building, designed in part by consultants who used to work for the Walt Disney Co., is not a library, she says, but a large barn and silo â a reminder of Billy Graham's early childhood on a dairy farm near Charlotte.
The plan to build a tourist center has resulted in bickering among the family members. Jesus, who offers miracle cures, has not kept Billy Graham in good health.
Retired and almost blind at 88, the evangelist is sitting in his modest log house on an isolated mountaintop in western North Carolina and listening to a family friend describe where Franklin Graham, heir to his father's worldwide ministry, wants to bury his parents.
Billy's wife, Ruth Bell Graham, is listening, too, curled up in a hospital bed on this bleak November evening. At 86 and 100 pounds, she has degeneration of the spine, which keeps her in constant pain.
. . .
His rugged face remains impassive except for something Ned notices: Heâs grinding his teeth.

His dad, he says, does this when he's upset.

Meanwhile, at a potential entry charge of $39.95 per person, Franklin Graham waits to make a killing.

(The link on this one has changed)

------------------------------------------------
http://www.rawstory.com/news/2006/Candidat...nt_to_1117.html

Losing candidate urges opponent to convert

Rae Hart Anderson, who lost the race for Minnesota's Senatorial seat to Satveer Chaudhary, urged her opponent to convert to Christianity. In an email, she said:

The race of your life is more important than this one--and it is my sincere wish that you'll get to know Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. He died for the sins of the world, yours and mine--and especially for those who accept His forgiveness. His kingdom will come and His will be done--on earth as it is in heaven. There's more....I love belonging to the family of God. Jesus is the way, the truth and offers His life to you and each human being. Pay attention...this is very important, Satveer. Have you noticed Jesus for yourself...at some moment in time, yet??? God commends His love to us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

10-17-2008, 08:14 PM

http://www.mouthshut.com/diary/ahidlsmu/Dr...ly-bulletin-Jun

Dr. Marc Faber concluded his monthly bulletin (June 2008) with the
Following:

"The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend
that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China . If we spend it on gasoline
it goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer it will go to India . If we
purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala
. If we purchase a good car it will go to Germany . If we purchase useless
crap it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy.

The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it on prostitutes
and beer, since these are the only products still produced in US. I've been
doing my part."

10-19-2008, 08:44 AM

QUOTESarah Palin is invited to meet with the Pope while he is vacationing in Venice. The liberal press reluctantly watches the semi-private audience, hoping they will be able to allot minimal coverage, if any.

The Pope then asks Governor Palin to join him on a Gondola ride through the canals of Venice . They're admiring the sights and agreeing on moral issues when, all of a sudden, the Pope's scarlet zucchetto blows off his head and out into the water. The gondolier starts to reach for the Pontiff's cap with his pole, but this move threatens to overturn the floating craft.

Sarah waves the gondolier off, saying, "Wait, wait. I'll take care of this.
Don't worry." She steps off the gondola onto the surface of the water and walks out to the Pope's hat, bends over and picks it up. She walks back across the water to the gondola and steps aboard. She quickly flips the hat about in the air shedding water and then rubs it against her skirt, drying it. She hands the cap to the Pope amid stunned silence.

The next morning, the topic of conversation among Democrats in Congress, CBS News, NBC News, ABC News, CNN, the New York Times, Hollywood celebrities, and in France and Germany is:

"Palin Can't Swim!"

10-20-2008, 11:48 AM

Youtude Stern is trying to annoy Sikh restra.

Login




Remember me Lost Password?