We Are Like This Onlee - 2

[Bharatvarsh]

<img src='http://www.granitegrok.com/pix/HealthcareVolunteer.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' />
<!--emo&:roll--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ROTFL.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='ROTFL.gif' /><!--endemo-->

[Guest]

<b>Obama Adult Movie Promo</b>
<!--emo&--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo-->

[Guest]

<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin--><b>Minimum alms: A rupee and nothing less</b>
G.C. SHEKHAR
link
FIXING WAGES?
Chennai, July 8: In Tamil Nadu, beggars can be choosers.

So if you are in the mood to give, it had better be at least Re 1. Nothing less will do.

<b>The “minimum wage” was fixed at a recent meeting in the northern district of Erode, where the local beggars association decided not to accept “useless” 50- and 25-paise coins.</b>

“When we give these coins in tea-stalls or shops, the shopkeepers refuse to accept them saying they are of no value in the current times. So we appeal to the public to give us nothing less than Re 1,” said N. Periasamy, the convener of the Erode District Beggars Association.

<b>The association also wanted the state government to give old-age pension to those who can’t beg any more and allot land for beggars to build small housing colonies</b>.

While the public might react positively to the appeal — if only to avoid the embarrassment of seeing the alms tossed back with disdain — the state government can’t really heed the other demands as begging is an offence under the 1945 Tamil Nadu Prevention of Begging Act.<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->

[Capt M Kumar]

<!--emo&--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo--> If they have already left for the day.
Put them in marketing.
If they are staring out of the window.
Put them on strategic planning or owner’s office.

And atlast........................
If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved.

Congratulate them and put them in top management.

http://content.msn.co.in/MSNContribute/Sto...8d-bc5bfe2b8568

[HareKrishna]

del

[Guest]

<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin--><b>Cambridge, Mass Police To Stop Checking IDs Of Occupants Of Black Homes!</b>
Cambridge, (MA) - July 33, 2009 – In a surprise public announcement before a startled Boston press corps this afternoon, Cambridge, Massachusetts police chief I. M. Faux declared that his officers have been ordered to no longer check the ID of any possible burglar caught in a home owned by African-Americans.

According to Chief Faux, the new directive instructs officers that if they are called to a home owned by a black physician, for example, they are not to request any positive address verification-identification, even of the person inside the home at 3:00 A.M. is wearing a shirt that says “Massachusetts Department of Corrections” and they are stacking up the jewelry, silverware and television sets near the back door. “The asking for ID is demeaning,” said the Chief.

The new plan extends beyond traditional Black neighborhoods. “I don’t care if the names on the mailbox are Sven and Olga Shnorgenson, there is a blue and gold flag flying out front, old ice skates sitting on the porch, the smell of Swedish meatballs and lutefisk permeating the house…. and the man who answers the door has dreadlocks, a Bob Marley shirt, four gold watches, three gold teeth and calls everyone “Mon”…. there had better not be any ID check!”

He said the policy will also apply to asking for driver’s licenses for African Americans caught for speeding. The chief said, “After all, just how bad is running 115 in a School Zone, compared to a loss of dignity. We can trust these drivers to give us their real names and addresses,” said the Chief.

Chief Faux said his department is also working with local merchants on a plan to ensure African Americans are not asked to show a credit card after a meal in a fine restaurant or when leaving the store after a clothing “purchase.” He agreed that there had been some opposition to his “Don’t Go Shoplifting Without It” plan, but is confident that a threatened Civil Rights suit by the U.S. Department of Justice will “whip the storeowners into line.”

No everyone was enthralled by the Chief’s new plan. The local chapter of ACORN stated, for the record, that in contrast to some rumors, neither ACORN nor the NAACP would be paying for any property lost to the newly empowered Black burglars.<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->

[Capt M Kumar]

<!--emo&--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo--> 10. Barack Obama is an evil wizard who has the ability to hypnotize millions of people and force them to do his bidding. The evidence: How else could he have become president when he’s not even a US citizen?

11. Barack Obama is a great scaly purple flying wombat from the planet Enjelmia in the Pyron Galaxy.
The evidence: I have documents proving this beyond any doubt but if I show them to anyone I will be assassinated.

http://www.hindustantimes.com/StoryPage/St...ma+conspiracies

[Guest]

Joe Biden told the MSM that it was the India's first nuclear sub to have a 7-11.

[Capt M Kumar]

<!--emo&--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo--> These are jungle crows (Corvus macrorhynchos) and weigh in at about 11/2 pounds and have a yard-wide wingspan. They can clench their claws into fists and punch people in the head, local bird experts say. They sometimes dive-bomb Tokyoites from the rear, with an unnerving whoosh that has been known to cause people to crash their bicycles or fall down stairwells. Like drill sergeants from hell, they wake up city dwellers at dawn with their deep, hoarse, astonishingly loud caws.

But one crow picked on the wrong guy in 2001. It whooshed near Shintaro Ishihara, the often irascible, exceedingly powerful governor of Tokyo, while he was playing golf.

"I intend to make crow-meat pies Tokyo's special dish," Ishihara announced.

http://www.indianexpress.com/news/in-tokyo...w-about/497658/

[Guest]

<img src='http://i26.tinypic.com/xbwz09.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' />

[Guest]

<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin--> <b>AMA on Universal Health Care</b>
E-mail | August 7, 2009 | unknown
Posted on Fri Aug 07 2009 09:01:24 GMT-0700 (Pacific Daylight Time) by Jess Kitting

Apparently the American Medical Association has weighed in on the proposed universal health care plan.

The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, and the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.

Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.

Pathologists yelled; "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, 'Oh, Grow up!"

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the radiologists could see right through it.

Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.

The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter."

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

The Anesthesiologists thought the wild idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington! <!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->

[Guest]

<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin--><b>TOP TEN INDICATORS THAT YOUR EMPLOYER HAS CHANGED TO OBAMACARE</b>
August 10, 2009

10. Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.

9. Directions to your doctor's office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."

8. The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.

7. The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.

6. The only item listed under Preventive Care Coverage is "An apple a day.."

5. Your primary care physician is wearing the coveralls you gave to Goodwill last month.

4. Where it says, "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges," it’s not a typographical error.

3. The only expense that is 100% covered is "embalming."

2. Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M's on them.

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'VE JOINED OBAMACARE:

1. You ask for Viagra and they give you a Popsicle stick and duct tape.<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->

[Capt M Kumar]

<!--emo&:o--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ohmy.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='ohmy.gif' /><!--endemo--> Joliet, Illinois: Drowsy spectators in one suburban Chicago courtroom might want to stifle their yawns from now on. Clifton Williams, 33, of Richton Park, is facing six months in jail for making what court documents call a yawn-like sound in Will County Judge Daniel Rozak's court last month. The yawn happened as Williams' cousin, Jason Mayfield, was being sentenced for a drug charge on July 23.

http://news.in.msn.com/international/artic...umentid=3131784

[Guest]

1.A day without sunshine is like night.

2.. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.


13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15 When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

[Capt M Kumar]

<!--emo&--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo--> Real humor in uniform:
Army officers are very strict about lights. Often in barracks the one thing that is prominently heard at nights is `lights out'. But one Army officer wanted the lights on throughout the night. What's wrong in that, one may ask, but this officer wanted the lights on in the II AC compartment of a train, held people at gun point and held up the express train too!

Call him light hearted, but he was dead serious and sent a shiver down the spine of hapless TTE, fellow passengers and the railway security personnel.

The incident happened on the Dehradun bound Upasana Express on Saturday. Captain Mallik, posted with the 2/3 Gorkha Rifles at Dehradun, boarded the train at Bareilly station at around 11.50 pm. As soon as he got into the compartment, he switched on all the lights. When co passengers protested, he shouted at them saying that he was `on duty.'

The passengers promptly called the TTE who tried hard to explain that lights are to be switched off between 10 pm and 6 am in every sleeper coach, according to reports. A furious captain reportedly pulled out his gun and threatened the TTE who just vanished. The RPF staff inside the train also found it useless to argue with Mallik.

The RPF then sent a wireless message to Moradabad. The train reached Moradabad at 2.30 am with all the lights of the II AC compartment on. Officials tried to reason out but Mallik was in no mood to listen. The railway officials then switched the lights off using a general switch. But then the captain started using torch and started waving. The train was held up for 30 minutes and left Moradabad with the lights on in the compartment.

Mallik's commanding officer, colonel Vivek Kocchar, was then contacted. When the train reached Dehradun, Kocchar who was personally present at the station and asked the military police to step in.

[Capt M Kumar]

<!--emo&--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo--> Bar Stool Economics
Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:
The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.
So, that's what they decided to do.
The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until on day, the owner threw them a curve. "Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20."Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?' They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.
And so:
The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).
Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.
"I only got a dollar out of the $20,"declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man," but he got $10!"
"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I!"
"That's true!!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!"
"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison. "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.
The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!
And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

posted by vs2011

[Guest]

<b>French Military Test Fires Anti-Tank Missile</b> <!--emo&--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo-->
http://www.break.com/index/french_military...nk_missile.html

The French military tests their new shoulder fired anti tank missile. The French should stick to firing old baguettes, much safer.

[Guest]

<b>An Old Story:</b>
The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and
laying up supplies for the winter.
The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs & dances & plays the
summer away.
Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or
shelter so he dies out in the cold.

<b>Now Indian Version:</b>


The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and
laying up supplies for the winter.
The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the
summer away.
Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and
demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed
while others are cold and starving.

NDTV, AAJTAK, BBC show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper
next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled
with food..........

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor
Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house. ........

Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that
Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter ..........

Mayawati states this as `injustice' done on Minorities.........

Amnesty International and UN secretary criticize the Indian Government for
not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper..........

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the
Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt
support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance)........

Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for 'Bengal Bandh' in
West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry..........

CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard
in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and
Grasshoppers..........

Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway
Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Redh'.............

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the ' Prevention of Terrorism
Against Grasshoppers Act' [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of the
winter.............

Arjun Singh makes 'Special Reservation ' for Grasshoppers in Educational
Institutions & in Government Services .

The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left
to pay his retroactive taxes, it’s home is confiscated by the Government
and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV.

Arundhati Roy calls it ' A Triumph of Justice'.

Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice '..

CPM calls it the ' Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden '

UN Secretary General invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.


Many years later....

The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar
company in Silicon Valley

100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere
in India,
......AND
As a result of loosing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the
grasshoppers, .
.
.
.
India is still a developing country…!!!

[Guest]

<!--emo&:clapping--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/clap.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='clap.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:cool--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/specool.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='specool.gif' /><!--endemo-->

[Guest]

<b>4 man show zaid hamid parody part 1</b>
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6Rssf65F...re=related