06-09-2005, 08:04 AM
Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back to home always.
--Anonymous
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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She
said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the
kitchen?"
--Anonymous
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.
Henny Youngman
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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-Rodney Dangerfield
-----------------------------------------------------------
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-Milton Berle
------------------------------------------------------------
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-Henny Youngman
-----------------------------------------------------------------
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool
when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in
love and didn't notice."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let
him keep her.
---------------------------------------------------------
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it
since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.
-------------------------------------------------------
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
----------------------------------------------------------
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?" The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
----------------------------------------------------------
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was
until I got married; then it was too late.
----------------------------------------------------------
A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. "A
billionaire." she replied,
----------------------------------------------------------
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second
marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
----------------------------------------------------------
It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only
seems longer.
----------------------------------------------------------
Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
------------------------------------------------------
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
Thinking they had no faults at all.
---------------------------------------------------------
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
----------------------------------------------------------
A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he
wants, But his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets. The man
thinks for a moment and says, "Okay, give me a million dollars a and
beat me till I'm half dead."
---------------------------------------------------------
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
------------------------------------------------------------------
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back to home always.
--Anonymous
----------------------------------------------------------------------<
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She
said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the
kitchen?"
--Anonymous
------------------------------------------------------------------
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.
Henny Youngman
----------------------------------------------------------
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-Rodney Dangerfield
-----------------------------------------------------------
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-Milton Berle
------------------------------------------------------------
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-Henny Youngman
-----------------------------------------------------------------
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool
when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in
love and didn't notice."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let
him keep her.
---------------------------------------------------------
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it
since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.
-------------------------------------------------------
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
----------------------------------------------------------
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?" The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
----------------------------------------------------------
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was
until I got married; then it was too late.
----------------------------------------------------------
A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. "A
billionaire." she replied,
----------------------------------------------------------
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second
marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
----------------------------------------------------------
It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only
seems longer.
----------------------------------------------------------
Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
------------------------------------------------------
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
Thinking they had no faults at all.
---------------------------------------------------------
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
----------------------------------------------------------
A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he
wants, But his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets. The man
thinks for a moment and says, "Okay, give me a million dollars a and
beat me till I'm half dead."
---------------------------------------------------------
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.