04-05-2006, 03:03 AM
<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin-->A Western Spiritual Seeker's Acclimatisation to India. You know you've been in India too long when...
1. You can argue over 3 rupees (approx. 5.5 cents US).
2. You can argue over 3 rupees and you win!
3. You frequently take the public bus - sometimes with your luggage.
4. You can get a Chennai autorickshaw driver to go somewhere for 10 rupees.
5. You carry your luggage on your head.
6. You call an elevator a "lift," a hot water heater a "geyser" (pron. 'geezer'), speed bumps "rumblers," pharmacies "medical shoppes," say "kindly" instead of "please," call waiters "boss," all men over age 50 "uncle" and refer to any non-Indian (including Japanese ) as 'Westerners.'
7. You no longer bother to say "excuse me."
8. You can walk barefoot down a city street without wincing.
9. You view restaurant paper napkins as a source of free toilet paper.
10. You no longer involuntarily exclaim 'oooohhhh' when the power fails.
11. The "Hindus only" temples don't look twice at you upon entering.
12. Sidewalk hawkers and leg-less beggars know instinctively not to bother you.
13. You can distinguish the spoken sounds and printed alphabets of Kannada, Tamil, Malayalam and Telegu.
14. People express surprise that you don't speak Hindi.
15. You can say "leave me alone" in four languages, other than English.
16. You express gratitude for the temperature dropping to 90 degrees.
17. You stop carrying your antibacterial soap with you everywhere.
Part 2
- In response to the previous list, some fellow Indian travel veterans contributed to the following. Special thanks to Jennifer Jayanthi Polan:
In response to the previous top 10....these, with some from my fellow Indophile in NY state, Jennifer Polan: love,
Caroline
1. You have bypass the ritual of looking for a seat belt in a car---because it either doesn't exist or it is rusted to the car frame.
2. You have forgotten how to use a knife or fork.
3. You get the bus driver to slow down by running alongside the bus banging your hand on the metal side (bam, bam bam)
3a. and, you board into the bus by running and jumping up into it.
4. You can ride on the back of a motorcycle without fear of falling
5. You refer to any motorcycle, moped or scooter as a 'two wheeler'
6. You can ride a motorcycle while wearing sari
7. While following a conversation, your head involuntarily 'woggles' from side to side ("achha, acchha")
8. You no longer hold your ears for car horns, diwali crackers, blaring temple music, mosque prayers, screeching trebly film music and street hawkers yelling (in fact, you sleep through them)
9. Righthand has become the 'wrong' side of the road
10. The phrase "rules of the road" prompts riotous laughter
11. You have considered applying for your international driver's license - and you don't even have PMS.
12. You yawn when the oncoming vehicle swerves literal inches from yours at the last second
13. you can wash your feet WITHOUT using your hands!
14. You routinely expect strangers to ask whether you are married
15. You express genuine surprise when hot water flows from the tap.
16. You no longer even look for a garbage can - just automatically toss your trash at your feet and keep walking
17. When someone spots the elephant on the street, you say, 'oh, THAT elephant' and look elsewhere.
18. Air conditioning makes you feel home sick.<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
1. You can argue over 3 rupees (approx. 5.5 cents US).
2. You can argue over 3 rupees and you win!
3. You frequently take the public bus - sometimes with your luggage.
4. You can get a Chennai autorickshaw driver to go somewhere for 10 rupees.
5. You carry your luggage on your head.
6. You call an elevator a "lift," a hot water heater a "geyser" (pron. 'geezer'), speed bumps "rumblers," pharmacies "medical shoppes," say "kindly" instead of "please," call waiters "boss," all men over age 50 "uncle" and refer to any non-Indian (including Japanese ) as 'Westerners.'
7. You no longer bother to say "excuse me."
8. You can walk barefoot down a city street without wincing.
9. You view restaurant paper napkins as a source of free toilet paper.
10. You no longer involuntarily exclaim 'oooohhhh' when the power fails.
11. The "Hindus only" temples don't look twice at you upon entering.
12. Sidewalk hawkers and leg-less beggars know instinctively not to bother you.
13. You can distinguish the spoken sounds and printed alphabets of Kannada, Tamil, Malayalam and Telegu.
14. People express surprise that you don't speak Hindi.
15. You can say "leave me alone" in four languages, other than English.
16. You express gratitude for the temperature dropping to 90 degrees.
17. You stop carrying your antibacterial soap with you everywhere.
Part 2
- In response to the previous list, some fellow Indian travel veterans contributed to the following. Special thanks to Jennifer Jayanthi Polan:
In response to the previous top 10....these, with some from my fellow Indophile in NY state, Jennifer Polan: love,
Caroline
1. You have bypass the ritual of looking for a seat belt in a car---because it either doesn't exist or it is rusted to the car frame.
2. You have forgotten how to use a knife or fork.
3. You get the bus driver to slow down by running alongside the bus banging your hand on the metal side (bam, bam bam)
3a. and, you board into the bus by running and jumping up into it.
4. You can ride on the back of a motorcycle without fear of falling
5. You refer to any motorcycle, moped or scooter as a 'two wheeler'
6. You can ride a motorcycle while wearing sari
7. While following a conversation, your head involuntarily 'woggles' from side to side ("achha, acchha")
8. You no longer hold your ears for car horns, diwali crackers, blaring temple music, mosque prayers, screeching trebly film music and street hawkers yelling (in fact, you sleep through them)
9. Righthand has become the 'wrong' side of the road
10. The phrase "rules of the road" prompts riotous laughter
11. You have considered applying for your international driver's license - and you don't even have PMS.
12. You yawn when the oncoming vehicle swerves literal inches from yours at the last second
13. you can wash your feet WITHOUT using your hands!
14. You routinely expect strangers to ask whether you are married
15. You express genuine surprise when hot water flows from the tap.
16. You no longer even look for a garbage can - just automatically toss your trash at your feet and keep walking
17. When someone spots the elephant on the street, you say, 'oh, THAT elephant' and look elsewhere.
18. Air conditioning makes you feel home sick.<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->