12-29-2006, 01:42 AM
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<b>Show must go on</b>
With the Punjab government determined to kill basant, and the real PM equally determined to let it happen, it appears that the latterâs will might well prevail at the end of the day. Our mole reports that the real PM has had a word with movers and shakers in the Punjab and made clear his opinion that basant should be celebrated over four weekends spanning February and March. The Punjabâs managers, partly as a concession to the fundos and partly because the use of killer twines (dor) commonly used to fly kites routinely causes mayhem, had banned the whole exercise of basant which is traditionally celebrated in February. Sources saythe Punjab government is considering a proposal whereby it willbuy up all the dangerous twine, destroy it, and only allow the sale of good old dor made of harmless yarns and much smaller kites than the huge contraptions that sail the skies at basant. Whatever happens, the show must go on.
<b>Sort of</b>
The next general elections came up for discussion at a recent meeting at the real PMâs camp office in Rawalpindi, attended by the high and mighty from across the land. <b>It was revealed to the assembled grandees that the world would watch keenly to see that the elections were conducted in an open and transparent manner. âIâm afraid the elections have to be free and fairâ one important person is said to have declared</b>. At this, the head honcho of the kingâs party recounted the story of the one free and fair election ever held in the history of Pakistan, that of 1970, and how it led to the break-up of the country and the secession of East Pakistan, according to him. The implication was clear and all present were on board; the 2007 elections needed to appear to be free and fair, sort of.
<b>Dancing sensation</b>
Lahoreâs dancing sensation, protege of Mian Yusuf Salahuddin, Kiran is jet setting across India again. Having made her debut at the wedding of Jaisal Singh, son of Tejbir and Mala Singh in Delhi in November, Kiran swept the Indian elites off their feet with her incomparable mujra. She made such an impression on a wealthy Non Resident Indian that he pursued her all the way from the US to Lahore on his Lear Jet and took her off again for more performances in Delhi and elsewhere. The NRI arrived in Lahore in his Lear Jet last week and giving Kiran a luxurious berth in his aircraft, soared into the sky bound for Delhi and onwards across the subcontinent.
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<b>Nuggets from the Urdu press </b>
<b>Dancing naked to celebrate WPB</b>
As reported in daily Nawa-i-Waqt, a young man, Malik Usman, in Dhok Maulvi Mohammad near Attock had started dancing naked in a populated bazaar near fawara chowk <!--emo&
--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo--> . He chanted slogans in favour of President Musharraf, Women Protection Bill, Shaukat Aziz and Benazir Bhutto. He also raised slogans in favour of Kashmala Tariq, Sumaira Malik, President Bush and Muslim League government. A huge crowd gathered to see the performance of a naked young man.
<b>Munna Bhai in trouble</b>
Sarerahe wrote in daily Nawa-i-Waqt that famous Indian actor Sanjay Dutt has asked that his punishment be reduced in Tada court. In the infidel world of Hindustan if a Hindu is under duress, then he must be a Muslim. The father of Sanjay Dutt was a Hindu but his mother was a Muslim. In Indian film industry Muslims are neither Muslims nor Hindus. Shah Rukh Khan has two dimensions, one is Hindu and the other is Muslim. His wife is Hindu and Shah Rukh Khan offers both puja and namaz in his house. The children of Shah Rukh Khan have mixed the temple and mosque to show the aesthetic combination of their parents. Sanjay Dutt alias Munnah Bhai is in trouble because he is son of filmstar Nargis.
<b>Woman imam leads Friday prayers</b>
As reported in daily Khabrain, around one hundred men and women offered Friday prayer lead by Amina Wadood, a professor at Virginia Commonwealth University. The prayers were offered in a church when no mosques gave them permission for prayers. The Islamic thinkers society activists demonstrated against the prayers in front of the church and said that a new deviation is being introduced in the religion of Islam. The main organiser of this event was Asra Naumani, a Mumbai born American.
<b>Russian tourist looted in Rohtas Fort</b>
As reported in Daily Pakistan, four unknown dacoits looted Russian diplomats who came to visit the historical Rohtas Fort. The dacoits took them hostage at gunpoint and snatched cash worth lakhs of rupees and their expensive cameras and mobiles phones. The local police of Dina district were unaware of this incident. [ISI dirty game]
<b>No azan, only church bells</b>
According to daily Nawa-i-Waqt, the members of Norwegian nationalist Democrat party are opposing the construction of a mosque in southern city of Christian Sand. They claimed that the construction of a mosque would give rise to the criminal activities and encourage inhuman activities in the area. They said we wouldnât let the symbol of Muslims come to our town. They said there should be no azan and only the bells of the church shall ring. The mayor of Christian Sand criticised these statements of the Democrats and said their opinion about religion of Islam is not correct. Democrats have a strict policy for immigrants in the country. There are already two mosques in the city and Muslims have moved an application to build another mosque.
<b>Religion canât divide family</b>
As reported in daily Khabrain, the family member of cricketer Mohammad Yousuf said, âWe are Christian and are proud of being Christians.â His father Youhanna Masih told the newspaper that Yousuf asked other family member to convert to Islam. He said he lives with his elder son and his wife lives with Mohammad Yousuf. His mother said the changing of our religion canât change the relationship. All religions give same message but their methods are different.
<b>Maulvi is a symbol of resistance</b>
In daily Express famous columnist Abdul Qadir Hassan wrote that today maulvis are under attack from all sides. Communists of yesterday and industrialists of today have jumped upon the maulvis and have started hurling allegations on their lives, politics and personalities. Maulvis are being treated today as they were treated during the British Raj. The rulers are descendants of British legacy but have adopted all the negative qualities and have shunned the positive qualities of Britishness. Maulvis were targeted when they started war of independence against the British in 1857.
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<b>Show must go on</b>
With the Punjab government determined to kill basant, and the real PM equally determined to let it happen, it appears that the latterâs will might well prevail at the end of the day. Our mole reports that the real PM has had a word with movers and shakers in the Punjab and made clear his opinion that basant should be celebrated over four weekends spanning February and March. The Punjabâs managers, partly as a concession to the fundos and partly because the use of killer twines (dor) commonly used to fly kites routinely causes mayhem, had banned the whole exercise of basant which is traditionally celebrated in February. Sources saythe Punjab government is considering a proposal whereby it willbuy up all the dangerous twine, destroy it, and only allow the sale of good old dor made of harmless yarns and much smaller kites than the huge contraptions that sail the skies at basant. Whatever happens, the show must go on.
<b>Sort of</b>
The next general elections came up for discussion at a recent meeting at the real PMâs camp office in Rawalpindi, attended by the high and mighty from across the land. <b>It was revealed to the assembled grandees that the world would watch keenly to see that the elections were conducted in an open and transparent manner. âIâm afraid the elections have to be free and fairâ one important person is said to have declared</b>. At this, the head honcho of the kingâs party recounted the story of the one free and fair election ever held in the history of Pakistan, that of 1970, and how it led to the break-up of the country and the secession of East Pakistan, according to him. The implication was clear and all present were on board; the 2007 elections needed to appear to be free and fair, sort of.
<b>Dancing sensation</b>
Lahoreâs dancing sensation, protege of Mian Yusuf Salahuddin, Kiran is jet setting across India again. Having made her debut at the wedding of Jaisal Singh, son of Tejbir and Mala Singh in Delhi in November, Kiran swept the Indian elites off their feet with her incomparable mujra. She made such an impression on a wealthy Non Resident Indian that he pursued her all the way from the US to Lahore on his Lear Jet and took her off again for more performances in Delhi and elsewhere. The NRI arrived in Lahore in his Lear Jet last week and giving Kiran a luxurious berth in his aircraft, soared into the sky bound for Delhi and onwards across the subcontinent.
+++++
<b>Nuggets from the Urdu press </b>
<b>Dancing naked to celebrate WPB</b>
As reported in daily Nawa-i-Waqt, a young man, Malik Usman, in Dhok Maulvi Mohammad near Attock had started dancing naked in a populated bazaar near fawara chowk <!--emo&
--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo--> . He chanted slogans in favour of President Musharraf, Women Protection Bill, Shaukat Aziz and Benazir Bhutto. He also raised slogans in favour of Kashmala Tariq, Sumaira Malik, President Bush and Muslim League government. A huge crowd gathered to see the performance of a naked young man. <b>Munna Bhai in trouble</b>
Sarerahe wrote in daily Nawa-i-Waqt that famous Indian actor Sanjay Dutt has asked that his punishment be reduced in Tada court. In the infidel world of Hindustan if a Hindu is under duress, then he must be a Muslim. The father of Sanjay Dutt was a Hindu but his mother was a Muslim. In Indian film industry Muslims are neither Muslims nor Hindus. Shah Rukh Khan has two dimensions, one is Hindu and the other is Muslim. His wife is Hindu and Shah Rukh Khan offers both puja and namaz in his house. The children of Shah Rukh Khan have mixed the temple and mosque to show the aesthetic combination of their parents. Sanjay Dutt alias Munnah Bhai is in trouble because he is son of filmstar Nargis.
<b>Woman imam leads Friday prayers</b>
As reported in daily Khabrain, around one hundred men and women offered Friday prayer lead by Amina Wadood, a professor at Virginia Commonwealth University. The prayers were offered in a church when no mosques gave them permission for prayers. The Islamic thinkers society activists demonstrated against the prayers in front of the church and said that a new deviation is being introduced in the religion of Islam. The main organiser of this event was Asra Naumani, a Mumbai born American.
<b>Russian tourist looted in Rohtas Fort</b>
As reported in Daily Pakistan, four unknown dacoits looted Russian diplomats who came to visit the historical Rohtas Fort. The dacoits took them hostage at gunpoint and snatched cash worth lakhs of rupees and their expensive cameras and mobiles phones. The local police of Dina district were unaware of this incident. [ISI dirty game]
<b>No azan, only church bells</b>
According to daily Nawa-i-Waqt, the members of Norwegian nationalist Democrat party are opposing the construction of a mosque in southern city of Christian Sand. They claimed that the construction of a mosque would give rise to the criminal activities and encourage inhuman activities in the area. They said we wouldnât let the symbol of Muslims come to our town. They said there should be no azan and only the bells of the church shall ring. The mayor of Christian Sand criticised these statements of the Democrats and said their opinion about religion of Islam is not correct. Democrats have a strict policy for immigrants in the country. There are already two mosques in the city and Muslims have moved an application to build another mosque.
<b>Religion canât divide family</b>
As reported in daily Khabrain, the family member of cricketer Mohammad Yousuf said, âWe are Christian and are proud of being Christians.â His father Youhanna Masih told the newspaper that Yousuf asked other family member to convert to Islam. He said he lives with his elder son and his wife lives with Mohammad Yousuf. His mother said the changing of our religion canât change the relationship. All religions give same message but their methods are different.
<b>Maulvi is a symbol of resistance</b>
In daily Express famous columnist Abdul Qadir Hassan wrote that today maulvis are under attack from all sides. Communists of yesterday and industrialists of today have jumped upon the maulvis and have started hurling allegations on their lives, politics and personalities. Maulvis are being treated today as they were treated during the British Raj. The rulers are descendants of British legacy but have adopted all the negative qualities and have shunned the positive qualities of Britishness. Maulvis were targeted when they started war of independence against the British in 1857.
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