05-25-2004, 07:42 AM
Not sure where this belongs...
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Sainthood for Sonia
-----------
To,
Head Pope,
Saint Manufacturing Unit,
Vatican,
Italy.
Dear Pope John Paul II,
Sir, with due respect towards all the pains you are taking for producing saints
in this old age, for this wretched world, I would like to register a strong
protest for overlooking the most saintly woman on this earth. Her majesty, Madam
Antonia Sonia Maino now more popularly known as Sonia Gandhi (SG). Yes, she is
the same woman who descended from Rome to save and convert the most uncultured
and ancient civilization on earth.
Dear pope, her life is full of miracles, sacrifices, sufferings, pain and
selfless service for self centered Indian public. Though even this ungodly
country do have her devotees who having understood her powers revere her like
God, their sense of gratitude is overwhelming, they are ready to lick her feet,
kneel on their knees and do whatever it takes to please her and have her
blessings, and these sort of people are the only hope for this country, of
course after SG. Her followers are usually found in groups and have many names
like congress, marxist, leftist, secularist and media. So, whatever I'm writing
they are going to vouch for it entirely.
Dear pope, this is the same India where one of your saint designate Mother
Teresa (MT) has converted the poverty stricken and leprosy beaten city of
Calcutta into a metropolitan. Now, Sir, you could imagine how much more SG is
greater than MT, if you compare Calcutta in relation to India. Yes, what a
brilliant mind, you have guessed it right 1SG = 10000MT's.
Sir, I know your compulsions that you can beatify any sacrificing, kind-hearted
and selflessly serving soul, but for being christened as saint that person need
to perform at least two miracles. The height of her greatness is such that she
could be the only saint in the world who can be made saint even before
beatifying, as she is an expert in the field of miracles, and the best part is
that you don't have to search for proofs as she performs all this on live
television.
So here goes the first incident, her powers had made 150 spineless men and women
stand on their feet!!! When they were singing her praise and offering their
prayers to her. Some were crying, others astonished and some other disappointed
but they all were equally mesmerized by her charm as she was in the process of
performing the greatest sacrifice in the history of India which no Indian has
ever done. Sir, you can have best spinal surgeons in the world and get them
checked. I am ready to bet her sainthood if they find even a single bone in
their body, but I know it won't be necessary as their being spineless is miracle
enough.
The second incident though it is attached with the first one but the
participants and their peculiar condition makes it a very special case indeed.
So when the first miracle was taking place many brain-dead men and women were
seen across various news channels, who by grace of her saintliness were alive
and managing to shower accolades on her and yet other's came out writing
scintillating pieces about her sacrifice and glory in the morning newspapers.
This miracle further goes on to show the fundamental mistake biologist were
doing by proclaiming brain as the most important human organ for survival
because there are some who can do away with it completely.. of course with the
help of her mercy.
I know it is going to be a long letter but have patience miracles doesn't come
cheap even by going at your own breathtaking pace of producing saints. She might
even have performed more miracles than all your saints taken together.
Another mind boggling case of miracle, a man shoots himself from point blank
range.. horrors of horrors.opps. grace of grace... he survives. Here, SG
surpasses all other saint's in the miracles history. I would like a new
designation created for her, probably it should be called Super Saint. Now, what
any ordinary saint would have done in this case, a man shoots himself, the
bullet gets in the brain and comes out from the other side and the man survives
or the bullet remains in the brain and the man survives, but both are very ugly
ways of performing miracles, a lot of blood and flesh, but can you guess what
our super saint SG has done. I bet you can't, so here is the complete story -The
man shoots himself from the point blank range and.. hold your breath..he misses
the target!!!! Neither blood nor flesh that's what you can call a clean miracle.
When this was happening, another man in a vain attempt to stop her from
performing the sacrifice offered his life by trying to self immolate himself,
but our kind-hearted SG would have none of it and the man came out round and
sound from the burning fires with just his scarf being accepted as token of his
loyalty and faith in her by the fire.
She has performed all these miracles in just one single day so it could be
anybody's guess how many more she had performed so far. In her life full of
miracles, take this for granted, nobody can measure the depth... I mean the
height of her greatness.
Now for the sacrifices, first she had left the land of God and Pope, Italy for
the land of ungodly, communal people. A developed country for an underdeveloped
one. A land of monotheism for the land of polytheism, but don't doubt her she
had always remained true to her religion and faith. Ok I know she married a
Hindu. or was he a Parsi. or a Jew .forget it, who cares, but that was the
sacrifice she has to made to save millions of Indians, but in spite this she had
given her son good old Christianity and made sure that her daughter marries a
christen only, so from now on there will be only christen crop in their family.
So apart from a good heart she has got a great mind too.
She had worn traditional oriental dresses in place of trendy western dresses, so
that ordinary Indians will not feel any inferiority complex from her. She had
learnt their language, so that they can understand her kind words of wisdom.
Some says she has even saved some money from the Bofors transaction in a Swiss
bank account, so that she can save India if the bad days befall it. She had
sacrificed her freedom of movement, so that her security guards can earn their
living. she had revived the grand old party of India from just 121 to a
who.oooooo..oping 145 seats in the parliament so that Indians can have a Secular
Growth instead of GDP Growth, moreover these ungodly Indians needs spiritual
rather than material growth.
She had sacrificed her mother in law and her husband on the pavements of... I
mean altars of Indian democracy. Hang on I know some people have imposed these
sacrifices on her but look at the pain part and suffering, you can use it in the
beatification process, as her kids were just in their early 20's and she has to
raise them without their father, here you must understand the rich and famous
remains teenager till they reach 50 and their pain of loosing their father is
much more than any ordinary child losing both the parents.
But you know saints have great appetite for sacrifice, so she performed the
greatest one of them all, inspite of stiff resistance from her chest beating
followers. No, no she has not sacrificed her life and anyway her life is too
valuable to be sacrificed for the wretched Indians and also life is too cheap in
India to be termed as a sacrificial entity.
Well it's befitting a woman from your own land has to be capable of such acts of
magnanimity ...Now! Lo and behold..the supreme sacrifice. she refused the prime
ministership of this country. Though she had taken 9 days, but she didn't want
to give a crude shock too blatantly to her followers, if she had done this on
the first day itself thousand might have died in the sorrow and grief and then
again she had to summon enough powers to perform all the miracles she had done
afterwards. Moreover the icing on sacrificial cake is that, she will do all the
work, burn the midnight oil and run the whole country from behind the scene and
somebody else will take credit for it, and look how compassionate she is, even
for her enemies, as her first priority is secularism, a lot of material growth
might not be possible and if in this case some ignorant and arrogant Indians
points a finger on her, they will have committed a sin and have to suffer the
burning fires of hell on the judgment day, but she mercifully saved them and I
think even her worst detractor will live and die in piece due to her mercy.
She told her followers like Jesus Christ (JC) "you sheep's I will be your
shepherd" and appointed a loyal head sheep to lead them after her. So my dear
pope she can take her heard of sheep's wherever she wants to - to secularism, to
Christianity or to God, wherever she may wish, and she had got more sheep's than
even JC ever had.
Sir, I request you to anoint her as the Messenger of God and if not that, at
least a Super Saint. I think her followers would even go to the extent of
christening her as god but for the fact she could not convert all the public
into her herd of sheep's.
Yours
Someone, who has been spared by her divine grace.
----------
Sainthood for Sonia
-----------
To,
Head Pope,
Saint Manufacturing Unit,
Vatican,
Italy.
Dear Pope John Paul II,
Sir, with due respect towards all the pains you are taking for producing saints
in this old age, for this wretched world, I would like to register a strong
protest for overlooking the most saintly woman on this earth. Her majesty, Madam
Antonia Sonia Maino now more popularly known as Sonia Gandhi (SG). Yes, she is
the same woman who descended from Rome to save and convert the most uncultured
and ancient civilization on earth.
Dear pope, her life is full of miracles, sacrifices, sufferings, pain and
selfless service for self centered Indian public. Though even this ungodly
country do have her devotees who having understood her powers revere her like
God, their sense of gratitude is overwhelming, they are ready to lick her feet,
kneel on their knees and do whatever it takes to please her and have her
blessings, and these sort of people are the only hope for this country, of
course after SG. Her followers are usually found in groups and have many names
like congress, marxist, leftist, secularist and media. So, whatever I'm writing
they are going to vouch for it entirely.
Dear pope, this is the same India where one of your saint designate Mother
Teresa (MT) has converted the poverty stricken and leprosy beaten city of
Calcutta into a metropolitan. Now, Sir, you could imagine how much more SG is
greater than MT, if you compare Calcutta in relation to India. Yes, what a
brilliant mind, you have guessed it right 1SG = 10000MT's.
Sir, I know your compulsions that you can beatify any sacrificing, kind-hearted
and selflessly serving soul, but for being christened as saint that person need
to perform at least two miracles. The height of her greatness is such that she
could be the only saint in the world who can be made saint even before
beatifying, as she is an expert in the field of miracles, and the best part is
that you don't have to search for proofs as she performs all this on live
television.
So here goes the first incident, her powers had made 150 spineless men and women
stand on their feet!!! When they were singing her praise and offering their
prayers to her. Some were crying, others astonished and some other disappointed
but they all were equally mesmerized by her charm as she was in the process of
performing the greatest sacrifice in the history of India which no Indian has
ever done. Sir, you can have best spinal surgeons in the world and get them
checked. I am ready to bet her sainthood if they find even a single bone in
their body, but I know it won't be necessary as their being spineless is miracle
enough.
The second incident though it is attached with the first one but the
participants and their peculiar condition makes it a very special case indeed.
So when the first miracle was taking place many brain-dead men and women were
seen across various news channels, who by grace of her saintliness were alive
and managing to shower accolades on her and yet other's came out writing
scintillating pieces about her sacrifice and glory in the morning newspapers.
This miracle further goes on to show the fundamental mistake biologist were
doing by proclaiming brain as the most important human organ for survival
because there are some who can do away with it completely.. of course with the
help of her mercy.
I know it is going to be a long letter but have patience miracles doesn't come
cheap even by going at your own breathtaking pace of producing saints. She might
even have performed more miracles than all your saints taken together.
Another mind boggling case of miracle, a man shoots himself from point blank
range.. horrors of horrors.opps. grace of grace... he survives. Here, SG
surpasses all other saint's in the miracles history. I would like a new
designation created for her, probably it should be called Super Saint. Now, what
any ordinary saint would have done in this case, a man shoots himself, the
bullet gets in the brain and comes out from the other side and the man survives
or the bullet remains in the brain and the man survives, but both are very ugly
ways of performing miracles, a lot of blood and flesh, but can you guess what
our super saint SG has done. I bet you can't, so here is the complete story -The
man shoots himself from the point blank range and.. hold your breath..he misses
the target!!!! Neither blood nor flesh that's what you can call a clean miracle.
When this was happening, another man in a vain attempt to stop her from
performing the sacrifice offered his life by trying to self immolate himself,
but our kind-hearted SG would have none of it and the man came out round and
sound from the burning fires with just his scarf being accepted as token of his
loyalty and faith in her by the fire.
She has performed all these miracles in just one single day so it could be
anybody's guess how many more she had performed so far. In her life full of
miracles, take this for granted, nobody can measure the depth... I mean the
height of her greatness.
Now for the sacrifices, first she had left the land of God and Pope, Italy for
the land of ungodly, communal people. A developed country for an underdeveloped
one. A land of monotheism for the land of polytheism, but don't doubt her she
had always remained true to her religion and faith. Ok I know she married a
Hindu. or was he a Parsi. or a Jew .forget it, who cares, but that was the
sacrifice she has to made to save millions of Indians, but in spite this she had
given her son good old Christianity and made sure that her daughter marries a
christen only, so from now on there will be only christen crop in their family.
So apart from a good heart she has got a great mind too.
She had worn traditional oriental dresses in place of trendy western dresses, so
that ordinary Indians will not feel any inferiority complex from her. She had
learnt their language, so that they can understand her kind words of wisdom.
Some says she has even saved some money from the Bofors transaction in a Swiss
bank account, so that she can save India if the bad days befall it. She had
sacrificed her freedom of movement, so that her security guards can earn their
living. she had revived the grand old party of India from just 121 to a
who.oooooo..oping 145 seats in the parliament so that Indians can have a Secular
Growth instead of GDP Growth, moreover these ungodly Indians needs spiritual
rather than material growth.
She had sacrificed her mother in law and her husband on the pavements of... I
mean altars of Indian democracy. Hang on I know some people have imposed these
sacrifices on her but look at the pain part and suffering, you can use it in the
beatification process, as her kids were just in their early 20's and she has to
raise them without their father, here you must understand the rich and famous
remains teenager till they reach 50 and their pain of loosing their father is
much more than any ordinary child losing both the parents.
But you know saints have great appetite for sacrifice, so she performed the
greatest one of them all, inspite of stiff resistance from her chest beating
followers. No, no she has not sacrificed her life and anyway her life is too
valuable to be sacrificed for the wretched Indians and also life is too cheap in
India to be termed as a sacrificial entity.
Well it's befitting a woman from your own land has to be capable of such acts of
magnanimity ...Now! Lo and behold..the supreme sacrifice. she refused the prime
ministership of this country. Though she had taken 9 days, but she didn't want
to give a crude shock too blatantly to her followers, if she had done this on
the first day itself thousand might have died in the sorrow and grief and then
again she had to summon enough powers to perform all the miracles she had done
afterwards. Moreover the icing on sacrificial cake is that, she will do all the
work, burn the midnight oil and run the whole country from behind the scene and
somebody else will take credit for it, and look how compassionate she is, even
for her enemies, as her first priority is secularism, a lot of material growth
might not be possible and if in this case some ignorant and arrogant Indians
points a finger on her, they will have committed a sin and have to suffer the
burning fires of hell on the judgment day, but she mercifully saved them and I
think even her worst detractor will live and die in piece due to her mercy.
She told her followers like Jesus Christ (JC) "you sheep's I will be your
shepherd" and appointed a loyal head sheep to lead them after her. So my dear
pope she can take her heard of sheep's wherever she wants to - to secularism, to
Christianity or to God, wherever she may wish, and she had got more sheep's than
even JC ever had.
Sir, I request you to anoint her as the Messenger of God and if not that, at
least a Super Saint. I think her followers would even go to the extent of
christening her as god but for the fact she could not convert all the public
into her herd of sheep's.
Yours
Someone, who has been spared by her divine grace.