05-06-2008, 12:42 AM
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
HILLARY CLINTON:
It takes a village to get that chicken crossed and we will do it...YES WE WILL! It takes a Clinton chicken to clean up that Bush across the road.
"When there's a crisis such as chicken crossings, and that phone rings at 3 a.m. in the White House, there's no time for speeches or on the job training. You have to be ready to make a decision." This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves, to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me....... That last man-chicken standing, may just be a woman-chicken.
BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! This chicken, like so many chickens in America want CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the other
chickens on the other side of the road.
TINA FEY:
The chicken crossed the road because chicken bitches get things done.
They do not whine and complain about tired feet or lack of sleep, they just DO IT!
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here, is that this chicken won't realize that he must
first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes
after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is
help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT'
problems before adding "NEW" problems.
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to
give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
of the chicken crossing the road...
LOU DOBBS: (My hubby added this one)
The chickens crossing the road here are totally out of control; they cause accidents when they try to run across in traffic, then they expect to have free medical care in the emergency rooms of our overworked hospitals, playgrounds and education for their baby chicks, and corn ratios to feed their out of control population explosion and we already have a corn shortage here in the US. Why don't we just let Purdue Chicken Farms harvest and sell them as "free-range pullets?"
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's
intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because she's GUILTY! At this juncture,
you can see it in her eyes and the way she walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American Chickens.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the Farmer's Market, to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insiderinformation.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
life long dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens, in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check
book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new
platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@$^*~(C% .........
reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I tell you, I still got it. When she saw me, that chicken fainted dead away, as she attempted crossing the road. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
That chicken saved energy by crossing before sunset. Due to global warming, her eggs cooked in the shell, after laying, saving 80% overall energy cost to the consumer.
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? Where are the black chickens?
We need more black chickens.
HILLARY CLINTON:
It takes a village to get that chicken crossed and we will do it...YES WE WILL! It takes a Clinton chicken to clean up that Bush across the road.
"When there's a crisis such as chicken crossings, and that phone rings at 3 a.m. in the White House, there's no time for speeches or on the job training. You have to be ready to make a decision." This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves, to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me....... That last man-chicken standing, may just be a woman-chicken.
BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! This chicken, like so many chickens in America want CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the other
chickens on the other side of the road.
TINA FEY:
The chicken crossed the road because chicken bitches get things done.
They do not whine and complain about tired feet or lack of sleep, they just DO IT!
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here, is that this chicken won't realize that he must
first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes
after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is
help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT'
problems before adding "NEW" problems.
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to
give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
of the chicken crossing the road...
LOU DOBBS: (My hubby added this one)
The chickens crossing the road here are totally out of control; they cause accidents when they try to run across in traffic, then they expect to have free medical care in the emergency rooms of our overworked hospitals, playgrounds and education for their baby chicks, and corn ratios to feed their out of control population explosion and we already have a corn shortage here in the US. Why don't we just let Purdue Chicken Farms harvest and sell them as "free-range pullets?"
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's
intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because she's GUILTY! At this juncture,
you can see it in her eyes and the way she walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American Chickens.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the Farmer's Market, to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insiderinformation.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
life long dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens, in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check
book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new
platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@$^*~(C% .........
reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I tell you, I still got it. When she saw me, that chicken fainted dead away, as she attempted crossing the road. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
That chicken saved energy by crossing before sunset. Due to global warming, her eggs cooked in the shell, after laying, saving 80% overall energy cost to the consumer.
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? Where are the black chickens?
We need more black chickens.