we look at the "dowery" from a prejudiced perspective due to all the ongoing propoganda. consider it in this way which would come naturally to a Hindu:
kanyA is a ratna, a lakshamI, in the household of her father. in Arya marriage, father would find a suitable match and family, ideally equal or better in status than his own, and propose to 'donate' his kanyA to the groom. kanyA-dAna we call it, from the bride's father pov. This is also a donation.
now, every dAna is to be followed by a dakShiNA. by accepting the dAna, the receiver does a favour to the giver, and the giver therefore expresses his gratitude by giving a dakShiNA. (this topic is elaboratedly discussed in the episode of rAjA harishchandra, where after donating everything he had as dAna to the brAhmaNa, rAjA had nothing left to offer as dakShiNA, therefore he sells himself and his family as slaves to raise the money to offer as the daKShiNA)
so, the gifts and the wealth that accompanies the bride in a wedding is a dakShiNA, sent by the bride's father in gratitude for the groom/his family having accepted the kanyA-dAna.
look at it also from another perspective. This wealth being given to the girl and her husband is a way of equitably bequeathing one's wealth to both sons and daughters - to son after one's death, and to daughter at the time of her marriage.
now, there can be no excuse or justification for the excesses that could be seen in recent times in name of dowery - however that must clearly distinguished from the real purpose and good intention of such tradition. A greedy brothers/parents of the kanyA not giving enough wealth to her/her husband are also guilty - just like greedy parents of the groom lusting after such exchange.
kanyA is a ratna, a lakshamI, in the household of her father. in Arya marriage, father would find a suitable match and family, ideally equal or better in status than his own, and propose to 'donate' his kanyA to the groom. kanyA-dAna we call it, from the bride's father pov. This is also a donation.
now, every dAna is to be followed by a dakShiNA. by accepting the dAna, the receiver does a favour to the giver, and the giver therefore expresses his gratitude by giving a dakShiNA. (this topic is elaboratedly discussed in the episode of rAjA harishchandra, where after donating everything he had as dAna to the brAhmaNa, rAjA had nothing left to offer as dakShiNA, therefore he sells himself and his family as slaves to raise the money to offer as the daKShiNA)
so, the gifts and the wealth that accompanies the bride in a wedding is a dakShiNA, sent by the bride's father in gratitude for the groom/his family having accepted the kanyA-dAna.
look at it also from another perspective. This wealth being given to the girl and her husband is a way of equitably bequeathing one's wealth to both sons and daughters - to son after one's death, and to daughter at the time of her marriage.
now, there can be no excuse or justification for the excesses that could be seen in recent times in name of dowery - however that must clearly distinguished from the real purpose and good intention of such tradition. A greedy brothers/parents of the kanyA not giving enough wealth to her/her husband are also guilty - just like greedy parents of the groom lusting after such exchange.