06-26-2008, 01:39 AM
above collection is very good...
===
an interesting perspective by a sari-wearing professional:
<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin-->in the three months that I've moved to Bombay, the single most
asked question of me has been "why do you wear a sari?" at work, at
home, in pubs, at restaurants, at traffic lights and on the train.
At first it made me feel a little defensive- what do they mean why do
I wear a sari? Am I not wearing it nicely? Is there something wrong
with it? Is (Horror of horrors!!) my petticoat showing!
Soon the defensiveness wore off, But the question didn't stop. Some
of the answers I give are- because I teach at university, because I
have so many, because they are so beautiful, because I want to show
my solidarity with the traditional weaving communities, because I
have domestic help and don't have to do the laundry myselfâ¦
How do I choose which answer to give when? Since all the `reasons'
are widely different. This is what I look for why i this person
asking me this? what can it mean? I try and make the question as
intelligible as i possibly can.
In the Virar fast train I say -because I teach at university. This
way, the girl who has just asked, nods sympathetically and
commiserates that I have Evil Employers who have unrealistic dress
codes. She has just made this calculation- the sari is inconvenient,
anyone who has a choice of dress, who jumps in and out of fast
trains, would only wear one under duress.
If my colleague at work asks me wistfully "tell me Polly, why DO you
wear a sari?" I say- I just have so many, it's a pity not to. "But
how every morning??" -well I have a maid to do the laundry, so the
hard part is taken care of. For my colleague the paraphernalia around
the sari is cumbersome but of course gifts from well-meaning
relatives shouldn't go to waste. "You should gift them away at
weddings, like meâ¦."
If I'm at a pub and someone asks me by the way, why are you in a sari-
I just say because it's sexy. They take one look at the bare mid-
riff, and nod cheerfully.
But given how many times I've answered the question, I'd really be
rather relieved if I could just say I wear a sari because it's my
religion! Because its complicated. Related to the sari, there is no
coherent `why' question that I can make sense of, or can give a
response to. As a general question it makes no sense- why do you wear
a sari?
I know within discussions on this board we all know the difference
between Semitic and heathen practices, but I do suspect that the -why
do you wear the head-scarf- question is really very similar to the-
why do you wear the sari -question. Not in terms of the `reasons' of
the wearer- maulvi told me/ I like the color -but in terms of the
assumptions of the person who asks the questions.
Everyone who asks me why I wear a sari assumes that its better,
easier, more efficient not to. But why? Certainly not because I'm
less efficient in it. Similarly, we look at someone in a head-scarf
through trained feminist, modern, freedom-of-the-individual lenses,
and assume that since going about without one, is so much more
convenient, there must be some very strong reasons (compulsion,
indoctrination) for this person to still be wearing one. And looking
for these reasons- why do you wear the head-scarf- we ask.
But these assumptions of efficiency and convenience are really
limited. My colleague has exactly the kind of domestic set up that I
do, and she still won't wear a sari. My `explanation' only gives a
semblance of an answer which looks like it satisfies her query, but
is in fact not an answer at all.
The more I think about the sari question the more convinced I am that
its nothing to do with convenience and efficiency. Maybe we just
have a normative understanding of what `real' clothes are, and what
they should enable, and what they should do for the wearer. Then we
want an explanation for people who don't choose them. The reason why
I get asked this question and the Aunty sitting next to me on the
train doesn't is that it looks as if I have a choice, (young,
educated, independent, English speaking) while she looks as if she
doesn't. Anyone who is not forced/indoctrinated will `obviously'
choose the more `reasonable' kind of clothes.
Normative notions of what one ought to wear, are disguised as concern
about gender equality, mobility, efficiency and convenience. "Real"
clothes promise all of these and more. But none of these categories
even exist in the horizon of the sari wearer (when I pick out my
clothes in the morning, I never think- better get into pants today, I
have to run after the train- I think more like it's a grey day- the
yellow Dharwadi will be cheerful).
So when my sari only has these kinds of thoughts behind it, and I
have to answer a why question, I'm utterly thrown. And I fish about
for what I guess the questioner wants to hear- producing odd reason
after very odd reason until I have perfected the art of saying
something that sounds approximately right.
So the different type of voice that you asked about, the one whose
ability to be 'different' you question, actually wouldn't talk about
the head-scarf as a religious symbol, or as the dictate of the
neighborhood maulvi or a fundamental right, or a freedom of
expression.
Disconcertingly, it might just talk about the quality of silk, the
pattern of the embroidery, the depth of the pleat and the lace
trimming and sidestep this incomprehensible debate entirely.
And I'm not being facile or 'girlie'! So before translating the
wearer's response to mean that women with little choice are making
the best of a bad situation, or that 'reason' will make them see
otherwise, lets see if we can change our way of looking at the head-
scarf as a problem by ceasing to ask the `why' question.
The language that constructs the sari/head scarf as a problem is
sometimes completely absent among the wearers. So whatever they say,
though it sounds absolutely inconsequential to the stormy debate they
are caught in, may in fact, be all they have to say.
By asking them to have an opinion on these terms, which is what
asking the `why' question does might force out answers like the ones
I've learnt to give. They might sound approximately right and give
the semblance of being a conversation. But actually it's not.
<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
===
an interesting perspective by a sari-wearing professional:
<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin-->in the three months that I've moved to Bombay, the single most
asked question of me has been "why do you wear a sari?" at work, at
home, in pubs, at restaurants, at traffic lights and on the train.
At first it made me feel a little defensive- what do they mean why do
I wear a sari? Am I not wearing it nicely? Is there something wrong
with it? Is (Horror of horrors!!) my petticoat showing!
Soon the defensiveness wore off, But the question didn't stop. Some
of the answers I give are- because I teach at university, because I
have so many, because they are so beautiful, because I want to show
my solidarity with the traditional weaving communities, because I
have domestic help and don't have to do the laundry myselfâ¦
How do I choose which answer to give when? Since all the `reasons'
are widely different. This is what I look for why i this person
asking me this? what can it mean? I try and make the question as
intelligible as i possibly can.
In the Virar fast train I say -because I teach at university. This
way, the girl who has just asked, nods sympathetically and
commiserates that I have Evil Employers who have unrealistic dress
codes. She has just made this calculation- the sari is inconvenient,
anyone who has a choice of dress, who jumps in and out of fast
trains, would only wear one under duress.
If my colleague at work asks me wistfully "tell me Polly, why DO you
wear a sari?" I say- I just have so many, it's a pity not to. "But
how every morning??" -well I have a maid to do the laundry, so the
hard part is taken care of. For my colleague the paraphernalia around
the sari is cumbersome but of course gifts from well-meaning
relatives shouldn't go to waste. "You should gift them away at
weddings, like meâ¦."
If I'm at a pub and someone asks me by the way, why are you in a sari-
I just say because it's sexy. They take one look at the bare mid-
riff, and nod cheerfully.
But given how many times I've answered the question, I'd really be
rather relieved if I could just say I wear a sari because it's my
religion! Because its complicated. Related to the sari, there is no
coherent `why' question that I can make sense of, or can give a
response to. As a general question it makes no sense- why do you wear
a sari?
I know within discussions on this board we all know the difference
between Semitic and heathen practices, but I do suspect that the -why
do you wear the head-scarf- question is really very similar to the-
why do you wear the sari -question. Not in terms of the `reasons' of
the wearer- maulvi told me/ I like the color -but in terms of the
assumptions of the person who asks the questions.
Everyone who asks me why I wear a sari assumes that its better,
easier, more efficient not to. But why? Certainly not because I'm
less efficient in it. Similarly, we look at someone in a head-scarf
through trained feminist, modern, freedom-of-the-individual lenses,
and assume that since going about without one, is so much more
convenient, there must be some very strong reasons (compulsion,
indoctrination) for this person to still be wearing one. And looking
for these reasons- why do you wear the head-scarf- we ask.
But these assumptions of efficiency and convenience are really
limited. My colleague has exactly the kind of domestic set up that I
do, and she still won't wear a sari. My `explanation' only gives a
semblance of an answer which looks like it satisfies her query, but
is in fact not an answer at all.
The more I think about the sari question the more convinced I am that
its nothing to do with convenience and efficiency. Maybe we just
have a normative understanding of what `real' clothes are, and what
they should enable, and what they should do for the wearer. Then we
want an explanation for people who don't choose them. The reason why
I get asked this question and the Aunty sitting next to me on the
train doesn't is that it looks as if I have a choice, (young,
educated, independent, English speaking) while she looks as if she
doesn't. Anyone who is not forced/indoctrinated will `obviously'
choose the more `reasonable' kind of clothes.
Normative notions of what one ought to wear, are disguised as concern
about gender equality, mobility, efficiency and convenience. "Real"
clothes promise all of these and more. But none of these categories
even exist in the horizon of the sari wearer (when I pick out my
clothes in the morning, I never think- better get into pants today, I
have to run after the train- I think more like it's a grey day- the
yellow Dharwadi will be cheerful).
So when my sari only has these kinds of thoughts behind it, and I
have to answer a why question, I'm utterly thrown. And I fish about
for what I guess the questioner wants to hear- producing odd reason
after very odd reason until I have perfected the art of saying
something that sounds approximately right.
So the different type of voice that you asked about, the one whose
ability to be 'different' you question, actually wouldn't talk about
the head-scarf as a religious symbol, or as the dictate of the
neighborhood maulvi or a fundamental right, or a freedom of
expression.
Disconcertingly, it might just talk about the quality of silk, the
pattern of the embroidery, the depth of the pleat and the lace
trimming and sidestep this incomprehensible debate entirely.
And I'm not being facile or 'girlie'! So before translating the
wearer's response to mean that women with little choice are making
the best of a bad situation, or that 'reason' will make them see
otherwise, lets see if we can change our way of looking at the head-
scarf as a problem by ceasing to ask the `why' question.
The language that constructs the sari/head scarf as a problem is
sometimes completely absent among the wearers. So whatever they say,
though it sounds absolutely inconsequential to the stormy debate they
are caught in, may in fact, be all they have to say.
By asking them to have an opinion on these terms, which is what
asking the `why' question does might force out answers like the ones
I've learnt to give. They might sound approximately right and give
the semblance of being a conversation. But actually it's not.
<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->