12-12-2004, 02:24 AM
The Endless Journal of Vaporous Scatology
This from our North American correspodent:
An illiterate farmer in California has deciphered an inscription on
a chariot (excavated in the Chinatown area of San Fransisco) which
conclusively proves that Aryans migrated to India from Germany.
The inscription on the axle ( made of iron, a metal still unknown to
Indians) has been deciphered as "Witzelvagen SUV"- written in a
dialect still spoken in the shores of the mighty Danube (the
original Ganga). Translated into modern scholarly English using
techniques of comparative historical philology it is
" Weasel Mobile SUV". The phrase "SUV" remains mysterious, but is
believed to be a religious totem-or perhaps a mysterious reference to
the diminutive reproductive organ of the Weasel ( see below).
It had already been established that the twenty ton iron and wood
construction was ridden by blue-eyed blond-haired Aryans across the
Khyber pass. At first it was assumed that it was pulled by horses.
This ran into trouble with comparative-scatological historians, who
know well that there have never been any horses in India. No horse
sh1t has ever been found in India even after decades of painful
search by legions of Indoscatologists. (FOOTNOTE: There was a claim
that a horse's ass had visited briefly from Germany but it has
since been established that this was just the drug-induced
hallucination of a hippy in Katmandu.)
The unemployed farmer's historic decipherment resolves the puzzle
brilliantly- the chariots were pulled by a rodent
called "Weasel". This rodent is known to be a feisty if irrational
creature, apt to make leaps of faith. When it inevitably falls on its
*tush ( a proto-Indo-Germanic word describing a sensitive part of
the rodent anatomy) it then tries to sneak across the logical divide
pretending to be a migrant. Who put this poor creature in charge of
pulling the twenty ton chariots of the Aryan invasion ( oops-
migration) across the rough terrain of the Khyber pass is the
repititive mystery still remaining unsolved.
The decipherment will be translated into the unscholarly dialects of
the unwashed Indians as soon as we can find an Indian graduate
student to do the translation. Look for publication in our sister
journal the PRAVDA-it will be copied on our SUSHKALINGA page and
posted and cross-posted ad nauseum to every newsgroup imaginable.
An important clarification by the great Stunaad will also appear-as
soon as he wakes up from his nap.
ALL ENQUIRIES WILL BE SUPPRESSED BY THE EDITORS.
This from our North American correspodent:
An illiterate farmer in California has deciphered an inscription on
a chariot (excavated in the Chinatown area of San Fransisco) which
conclusively proves that Aryans migrated to India from Germany.
The inscription on the axle ( made of iron, a metal still unknown to
Indians) has been deciphered as "Witzelvagen SUV"- written in a
dialect still spoken in the shores of the mighty Danube (the
original Ganga). Translated into modern scholarly English using
techniques of comparative historical philology it is
" Weasel Mobile SUV". The phrase "SUV" remains mysterious, but is
believed to be a religious totem-or perhaps a mysterious reference to
the diminutive reproductive organ of the Weasel ( see below).
It had already been established that the twenty ton iron and wood
construction was ridden by blue-eyed blond-haired Aryans across the
Khyber pass. At first it was assumed that it was pulled by horses.
This ran into trouble with comparative-scatological historians, who
know well that there have never been any horses in India. No horse
sh1t has ever been found in India even after decades of painful
search by legions of Indoscatologists. (FOOTNOTE: There was a claim
that a horse's ass had visited briefly from Germany but it has
since been established that this was just the drug-induced
hallucination of a hippy in Katmandu.)
The unemployed farmer's historic decipherment resolves the puzzle
brilliantly- the chariots were pulled by a rodent
called "Weasel". This rodent is known to be a feisty if irrational
creature, apt to make leaps of faith. When it inevitably falls on its
*tush ( a proto-Indo-Germanic word describing a sensitive part of
the rodent anatomy) it then tries to sneak across the logical divide
pretending to be a migrant. Who put this poor creature in charge of
pulling the twenty ton chariots of the Aryan invasion ( oops-
migration) across the rough terrain of the Khyber pass is the
repititive mystery still remaining unsolved.
The decipherment will be translated into the unscholarly dialects of
the unwashed Indians as soon as we can find an Indian graduate
student to do the translation. Look for publication in our sister
journal the PRAVDA-it will be copied on our SUSHKALINGA page and
posted and cross-posted ad nauseum to every newsgroup imaginable.
An important clarification by the great Stunaad will also appear-as
soon as he wakes up from his nap.
ALL ENQUIRIES WILL BE SUPPRESSED BY THE EDITORS.