01-06-2005, 06:01 PM
Here is a constructive twist to the topic at hand. I see no resolution in a debate whether limitations should be imposed, or defining freedom in a way that pleases everybody. All talk is theory, the only practical way is to practise what is preached.
Instead of debating on the amount of freedom or restrictions, it would be better to discuss a guideline for a healthy society. What would be the guidelines (DO's and DONâTs) for men and women in an Indian cultural framework (possibly applicable to kids of NRI's too.)
Raja, I would like you to list the do's and donts for MEN and WOMEN in an indian society. This would be helpful for further discussion.
Here are a few points I can think of for shaping values.
<b>Children below 10 years.</b>
Children always learn by example. Their personalities are shaped by imitating their rolemodels.
(*) Expose children to good/healthy environment.
(*) Cultivate interest in various area (like music, art, sports, self-defense, and most importantly puranas and ithihasas.)
(*) Shape their imaginative minds with stories of heroism and valour, and also of kindness and compassion.
(*) Teach them BY EXAMPLE, the virtues of Truth and Tolerance, and also of assertiveness and strengh.
(*) Teach children the story of Sati, Sita, Savitri, and Anasuya.
The character of a child for a lifetime, be it 'responsibilities' or 'submissiveness' is already shaped in these 10 years time. In these 10 years time, all their questions should be answered honestly and also foster a bond of a father/son, father/daughter, mother/son or mother/daughter. Involve all grandparents and uncles/aunts even if you are far away from home.
<b>Children between 10 and 15 years.</b>
This is a stage they will try and exercise a new found freedom. Though it feels like they are 'getting away' from you, remember your teen years. You were not getting away from parents, but were venturing into the world on your own. Trying to take charge of situations.. As a parent, here is when you need to 'delegate' and 'guide' instead of 'dictate'. The one rule we had at home while growing up was <b>do anything you like, but keep us informed of it.</b> and sure enough, we had the freedom to do ANYTHING, but we always told our parents of it..
From my little world, the best person to grant or take away ones freedom is not the husband, but the parents. They shape your personality, and thus you as a parent will have to make a conscious decision whether your child will be an aggressive bully (freedom without responsibility) or a meek coward (lack of freedom anywhere.)
At this point, man or woman does not matter. I know this is a twist to the topic. Raja, if you can add your guidelines to a sane society it would be nice to hear.
Instead of debating on the amount of freedom or restrictions, it would be better to discuss a guideline for a healthy society. What would be the guidelines (DO's and DONâTs) for men and women in an Indian cultural framework (possibly applicable to kids of NRI's too.)
Raja, I would like you to list the do's and donts for MEN and WOMEN in an indian society. This would be helpful for further discussion.
Here are a few points I can think of for shaping values.
<b>Children below 10 years.</b>
Children always learn by example. Their personalities are shaped by imitating their rolemodels.
(*) Expose children to good/healthy environment.
(*) Cultivate interest in various area (like music, art, sports, self-defense, and most importantly puranas and ithihasas.)
(*) Shape their imaginative minds with stories of heroism and valour, and also of kindness and compassion.
(*) Teach them BY EXAMPLE, the virtues of Truth and Tolerance, and also of assertiveness and strengh.
(*) Teach children the story of Sati, Sita, Savitri, and Anasuya.
The character of a child for a lifetime, be it 'responsibilities' or 'submissiveness' is already shaped in these 10 years time. In these 10 years time, all their questions should be answered honestly and also foster a bond of a father/son, father/daughter, mother/son or mother/daughter. Involve all grandparents and uncles/aunts even if you are far away from home.
<b>Children between 10 and 15 years.</b>
This is a stage they will try and exercise a new found freedom. Though it feels like they are 'getting away' from you, remember your teen years. You were not getting away from parents, but were venturing into the world on your own. Trying to take charge of situations.. As a parent, here is when you need to 'delegate' and 'guide' instead of 'dictate'. The one rule we had at home while growing up was <b>do anything you like, but keep us informed of it.</b> and sure enough, we had the freedom to do ANYTHING, but we always told our parents of it..
From my little world, the best person to grant or take away ones freedom is not the husband, but the parents. They shape your personality, and thus you as a parent will have to make a conscious decision whether your child will be an aggressive bully (freedom without responsibility) or a meek coward (lack of freedom anywhere.)
At this point, man or woman does not matter. I know this is a twist to the topic. Raja, if you can add your guidelines to a sane society it would be nice to hear.