06-24-2011, 05:03 AM
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![[Image: large-Ittfaq%20Nama.jpg]](http://www.thefridaytimes.com/beta2/tft/20110624/large-Ittfaq%20Nama.jpg)
[url="http://www.thefridaytimes.com/beta2/tft/article.php?issue=20110624&page=31"][center][size="7"][color="#006400"]ITTEFAQ NAMA[/color][/size][/center][/url]
We politicians are doing each others mother-sister these days. Zardari is calling me maulvi. I am calling him crupt. I sent him message that don't do this. Thought keeps hunting me that what we are doing is bad for democracy. Then don't say me, I told him. Phhirr mujhe na kehna. But Zardari is not going from tuss to muss. He is writing democracy on tip of shoe. Problem with Zardari is that he is not educated. In order to be politician, you have to know Englush, Geography, Hysteria and Science. I sent message to Zardari that you don't know alif bay of Science, haw you can be politician, hain ji? He replied that he knows everything about Science there is to know, in fact he knows universe a lot. He said he was planning to do space travel before he became President of Pakistan. Achha, I said, to which planet you were going, hain ji? He said, "Uranus". Fury climbed on me. "Why not Uranus?" I shouted. Then he slammed phoon.
I rang him and said, "You say sorry to me. We are old family from behind. I can trace my ancestry to royalty". "To whom?" he asked, "King Kong?" I did ignore of that comment. Instead I told Zardari that his lack of education showed. He should go to London and join adult literacy classes and leaf government to me. He shot back that he was expert in all fields of learning, especially medicine. Achha, I said, ok tell me what is an artery? It is study of fine paintings, he said. What is bacteria? It is back door to Presidency's cafeteria, he said. What is bowel, I asked. It is two things he said - first it is letters like a, e, i, o, u and it is also to put soup in. What is coma, I asked. It is punctuation mark, he said. Dilate? Late Princess Diana. Cat scan? Searching for Mano Billi. Cortizone? Area around Supreme Court out of bounds for PPP. Cyst? Loving short name for sister. Duodenum? Besharam and modren couple in blue jeans. Gallbladder? Bladder of a girl. Hernia? She is close by. Impotent? Distinguished person. Liposuction? French kiss. Pacemaker? Asma Jehangir of Human Rights Commission and expected winner of Nobel Peace Prize. Secretion? Hiding something from ISI. Subcutaneous? Not cute enough, example Karishma Kapoor as opposed to Kareena Kapoor who is very cute.
You may have all the right answers in medicine, I told Zardari, but you are still a prawn in the hands of the military. I am not, he shouted, I've told them I will make peace with India and I am very qualified because I have become a vegetarian. Hahaha I laughed, remember that faujis they will not let you because they are humanitarians. They eat human beings who disagree with them.
[center][size="5"]NS[/size][/center]
Cheers![[Image: beer.gif]](http://www.skyscrapercity.com/images/smilies/beer.gif)
[url="http://www.thefridaytimes.com/beta2/tft/article.php?issue=20110624&page=31"][center][size="7"][color="#006400"]ITTEFAQ NAMA[/color][/size][/center][/url]
We politicians are doing each others mother-sister these days. Zardari is calling me maulvi. I am calling him crupt. I sent him message that don't do this. Thought keeps hunting me that what we are doing is bad for democracy. Then don't say me, I told him. Phhirr mujhe na kehna. But Zardari is not going from tuss to muss. He is writing democracy on tip of shoe. Problem with Zardari is that he is not educated. In order to be politician, you have to know Englush, Geography, Hysteria and Science. I sent message to Zardari that you don't know alif bay of Science, haw you can be politician, hain ji? He replied that he knows everything about Science there is to know, in fact he knows universe a lot. He said he was planning to do space travel before he became President of Pakistan. Achha, I said, to which planet you were going, hain ji? He said, "Uranus". Fury climbed on me. "Why not Uranus?" I shouted. Then he slammed phoon.
I rang him and said, "You say sorry to me. We are old family from behind. I can trace my ancestry to royalty". "To whom?" he asked, "King Kong?" I did ignore of that comment. Instead I told Zardari that his lack of education showed. He should go to London and join adult literacy classes and leaf government to me. He shot back that he was expert in all fields of learning, especially medicine. Achha, I said, ok tell me what is an artery? It is study of fine paintings, he said. What is bacteria? It is back door to Presidency's cafeteria, he said. What is bowel, I asked. It is two things he said - first it is letters like a, e, i, o, u and it is also to put soup in. What is coma, I asked. It is punctuation mark, he said. Dilate? Late Princess Diana. Cat scan? Searching for Mano Billi. Cortizone? Area around Supreme Court out of bounds for PPP. Cyst? Loving short name for sister. Duodenum? Besharam and modren couple in blue jeans. Gallbladder? Bladder of a girl. Hernia? She is close by. Impotent? Distinguished person. Liposuction? French kiss. Pacemaker? Asma Jehangir of Human Rights Commission and expected winner of Nobel Peace Prize. Secretion? Hiding something from ISI. Subcutaneous? Not cute enough, example Karishma Kapoor as opposed to Kareena Kapoor who is very cute.
You may have all the right answers in medicine, I told Zardari, but you are still a prawn in the hands of the military. I am not, he shouted, I've told them I will make peace with India and I am very qualified because I have become a vegetarian. Hahaha I laughed, remember that faujis they will not let you because they are humanitarians. They eat human beings who disagree with them.
[center][size="5"]NS[/size][/center]
Cheers