03-27-2005, 01:42 AM
<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin-->Inspiring tales for outed politicians
Our Philandering politicians who're in a rage for being outed on prime time TV can seek solace in the fact that they are in inspiring company. The Chairman of Romania's Chamber of Deputies and former Prime Minister, we're told, has offered "to sleep with the wives and girlfriends of journalists working for a Romanian newspaper to stop them from claiming he is gay".  Â
Evenimentul Zilei, a popular Romanian newspaper, is believed to have been working on a story to out Mr Adrian Nastase, an ambitious politician who's a front-runner in the presidential race, as a closet gay. But Mr Nastase's made of firmer stuff than our whining chaps caught with their dhotis around their ankles.
"If people from Evenimentul Zilei want me to prove to them that I have no homosexual inclinations," says Mr Nastase, "I will (eloquent expletive deleted) all their wives and girlfriends to show them where my preferences really are." Evenimentul Zilei feels Mr Nastase's flipped and "appears to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown".
Romanians are no strangers to the peccadilloes and other strange fixations of their rulers and politicians. Nicolae and Elena Ceausescu may have sought and found satisfaction in marble floored loos with 24-carat gold fittings which included diamond-studded toilet paper dispensers, their son preferred nubile acrobats in bed.
He insisted that Nadia Comaneci score a perfect 10 with him, and she did so too. Later, after defecting to America (where else) Nadia Comaneci claimed it was drugs that made her perform in Ceausescu junior's bed. His friends say that he was merely taking lessons in making love the Kamasutra way.
Meanwhile, another Romanian newspaper, Opinia Oltenien, informs us, in duly solemn tone, that doctors in Bucharest have scored a first-of-its-kind success by removing a man's wedding ring from the unmentionable thing between his legs.
It seems the chap, who's married and has two children, had a one-night stand with another woman. He couldn't tell the doctors how the ring found its way from his finger onto his you-know-what, but said he suspected this other woman slipped it on to his flagging thingy because he fell asleep half way through giving her a tumble in the bed. The fury of a woman scorned, etc.
The doctors who performed the miracle of slipping the wedding ring back where it belonged, Opinia Oltenien further informs us, are an experienced lot in saving men from embarrassing situations. "In another case, a man came to hospital with his peewee stuck in a Cola bottle. He looked very respectable. We managed to remove the bottle without harming his organ," one of them told the newspaper.
Our outed and enraged politicians, who look very respectable when they are not on prime time spycam TV, should thank god for small mercies. What if a channel got hold of a sting tape of doctors struggling with coke bottles and wedding rings?<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Our Philandering politicians who're in a rage for being outed on prime time TV can seek solace in the fact that they are in inspiring company. The Chairman of Romania's Chamber of Deputies and former Prime Minister, we're told, has offered "to sleep with the wives and girlfriends of journalists working for a Romanian newspaper to stop them from claiming he is gay".  Â
Evenimentul Zilei, a popular Romanian newspaper, is believed to have been working on a story to out Mr Adrian Nastase, an ambitious politician who's a front-runner in the presidential race, as a closet gay. But Mr Nastase's made of firmer stuff than our whining chaps caught with their dhotis around their ankles.
"If people from Evenimentul Zilei want me to prove to them that I have no homosexual inclinations," says Mr Nastase, "I will (eloquent expletive deleted) all their wives and girlfriends to show them where my preferences really are." Evenimentul Zilei feels Mr Nastase's flipped and "appears to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown".
Romanians are no strangers to the peccadilloes and other strange fixations of their rulers and politicians. Nicolae and Elena Ceausescu may have sought and found satisfaction in marble floored loos with 24-carat gold fittings which included diamond-studded toilet paper dispensers, their son preferred nubile acrobats in bed.
He insisted that Nadia Comaneci score a perfect 10 with him, and she did so too. Later, after defecting to America (where else) Nadia Comaneci claimed it was drugs that made her perform in Ceausescu junior's bed. His friends say that he was merely taking lessons in making love the Kamasutra way.
Meanwhile, another Romanian newspaper, Opinia Oltenien, informs us, in duly solemn tone, that doctors in Bucharest have scored a first-of-its-kind success by removing a man's wedding ring from the unmentionable thing between his legs.
It seems the chap, who's married and has two children, had a one-night stand with another woman. He couldn't tell the doctors how the ring found its way from his finger onto his you-know-what, but said he suspected this other woman slipped it on to his flagging thingy because he fell asleep half way through giving her a tumble in the bed. The fury of a woman scorned, etc.
The doctors who performed the miracle of slipping the wedding ring back where it belonged, Opinia Oltenien further informs us, are an experienced lot in saving men from embarrassing situations. "In another case, a man came to hospital with his peewee stuck in a Cola bottle. He looked very respectable. We managed to remove the bottle without harming his organ," one of them told the newspaper.
Our outed and enraged politicians, who look very respectable when they are not on prime time spycam TV, should thank god for small mercies. What if a channel got hold of a sting tape of doctors struggling with coke bottles and wedding rings?<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->