You can't even make this up...but apparently it's true
Playing with fire
<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin-->Herb Wakeford, a CPA in Raleigh, N.C., recalls a Pittsburgh furniture-store owner who, after years of trying unsuccessfully to sell his business, hired an arsonist to torch the place. The insurance company paid off to the tune of $500,000, which the owner dutifully reported on his income tax return. However, along with taking the proper deductions for the building, its contents and the usual business expenses, he also deducted a $10,000 "consulting fee" he had paid the arsonist. An IRS audit two years later landed them both in jail. The IRS disallowed the "consulting fee" and slapped on $6,500 in additional taxes, penalties and interest<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--QuoteBegin-Viren+Mar 31 2006, 08:23 PM-->QUOTE(Viren @ Mar 31 2006, 08:23 PM)<!--QuoteEBegin-->You can't even make this up...but apparently it's true
<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Yeah "Pakis like that only" ... rememeber WTC 1993 where guy " wanted his money back, and iInsisted on a refund of $400 deposit on the rented van" he used to make the car bomb.
FBI (becuase they found the fragments and number plates knew the rental car agency and assumed fake names wwere used was surprised to hear that some one was actually claiming to have rented that van. The FBI was waiting for them when they came in person to claim the money <!--emo&  --><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /><!--endemo-->
<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin-->A Western Spiritual Seeker's Acclimatisation to India. You know you've been in India too long when...
1. You can argue over 3 rupees (approx. 5.5 cents US).
2. You can argue over 3 rupees and you win!
3. You frequently take the public bus - sometimes with your luggage.
4. You can get a Chennai autorickshaw driver to go somewhere for 10 rupees.
5. You carry your luggage on your head.
6. You call an elevator a "lift," a hot water heater a "geyser" (pron. 'geezer'), speed bumps "rumblers," pharmacies "medical shoppes," say "kindly" instead of "please," call waiters "boss," all men over age 50 "uncle" and refer to any non-Indian (including Japanese ) as 'Westerners.'
7. You no longer bother to say "excuse me."
8. You can walk barefoot down a city street without wincing.
9. You view restaurant paper napkins as a source of free toilet paper.
10. You no longer involuntarily exclaim 'oooohhhh' when the power fails.
11. The "Hindus only" temples don't look twice at you upon entering.
12. Sidewalk hawkers and leg-less beggars know instinctively not to bother you.
13. You can distinguish the spoken sounds and printed alphabets of Kannada, Tamil, Malayalam and Telegu.
14. People express surprise that you don't speak Hindi.
15. You can say "leave me alone" in four languages, other than English.
16. You express gratitude for the temperature dropping to 90 degrees.
17. You stop carrying your antibacterial soap with you everywhere.
Part 2
- In response to the previous list, some fellow Indian travel veterans contributed to the following. Special thanks to Jennifer Jayanthi Polan:
In response to the previous top 10....these, with some from my fellow Indophile in NY state, Jennifer Polan: love,
Caroline
1. You have bypass the ritual of looking for a seat belt in a car---because it either doesn't exist or it is rusted to the car frame.
2. You have forgotten how to use a knife or fork.
3. You get the bus driver to slow down by running alongside the bus banging your hand on the metal side (bam, bam bam)
3a. and, you board into the bus by running and jumping up into it.
4. You can ride on the back of a motorcycle without fear of falling
5. You refer to any motorcycle, moped or scooter as a 'two wheeler'
6. You can ride a motorcycle while wearing sari
7. While following a conversation, your head involuntarily 'woggles' from side to side ("achha, acchha")
8. You no longer hold your ears for car horns, diwali crackers, blaring temple music, mosque prayers, screeching trebly film music and street hawkers yelling (in fact, you sleep through them)
9. Righthand has become the 'wrong' side of the road
10. The phrase "rules of the road" prompts riotous laughter
11. You have considered applying for your international driver's license - and you don't even have PMS.
12. You yawn when the oncoming vehicle swerves literal inches from yours at the last second
13. you can wash your feet WITHOUT using your hands!
14. You routinely expect strangers to ask whether you are married
15. You express genuine surprise when hot water flows from the tap.
16. You no longer even look for a garbage can - just automatically toss your trash at your feet and keep walking
17. When someone spots the elephant on the street, you say, 'oh, THAT elephant' and look elsewhere.
18. Air conditioning makes you feel home sick.<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin--><b>South Indian boy on his first day at school in USA</b>..........
It was the first day of school and a new student named Chandrashekhar Subrahmanyam entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History."
Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me Death"?
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrashekhar, who had his hand up:
"Patrick Henry, 1775" he said."
"Very good !"
Who said " Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?"
Again, no response except from Chandrashekhar.
"Abraham Lincoln, 1863" said Chandrashekhar.
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed.
Chandrashekhar, who is new to our country, knows more! about its history than you do."
She heard a loud whisper: "F**k the Indians,"
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Chandrashekhar put his hand up. "General Custer, 1862."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."
The teacher glares around and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"
Again, Chandrashekhar says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? S*ck this!"
Chandrashekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said "You little sh1t. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."
Chandrashekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."
The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh sh1t, we're f**ked!"
And Chandrashekhar said quietly, "George Bush, Iraq, 2005."
<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
An excerpt from Emcee's diary exactly 50 years from now
Ahmedabad, 30 April 2056: I attended the bash at the IIM-OBC Alumni Association to celebrate the fiftieth anniversary of the reservation of seats for OBCs (Other Backward Castes) in IIMs. Since I'm not an OBC, I was not supposed to attend, but at present, we MBFCs (Moderately Backward Forward Castes) together with the Non-Scheduled Tribes have a political alliance with the OBCs. We sipped champagne and talked about how so many of us had progressed from reserved seats in the IIMs to reserved jobs to reserved promotions. Unfortunately, the party broke up when a Non-scheduled Tribes faculty member objected to the OBCs dancing with all the pretty girls - he wanted equal opportunities for every caste at each dance. I pointed out that the Non-scheduled Tribes had exceeded the quota of champagne reserved for them. The party ended in a pitched caste battle.
1 May 2056:
Today, I became president of the IIM Board of Directors.
Under the present rotating presidency system, a member of each caste is made the president by turn. When it was the turn of the MBFCs for president, they had to choose me because I'm the only MBFC on the campus. True, I'm only the campus dhobi, but then every caste must be given an equal opportunity. All those centuries of oppression by the OSBFCs (Only Slightly Backward Forward Castes) and the OFCs (Other Forward Castes) must be rectified. I hope to restore the high standards at IIM - I overheard some foreigners calling it the Indian Institute of Morons, the other day.
2 May 2056:
They've announced the cricket team for the series against
Australia. I was overjoyed when they chose an MBFC man as captain. But my hopes were dashed when I realized he was a Most Backward Forward Caste and not a Moderately Backward Forward Caste. The selection committee lamented that it was gross discrimination that no member from the Jarowa tribe (the Stone Age tribe in the Andamans) had ever found a place in the Indian cricket team. A squad has since been dispatched to the Andamans to capture a Jarowa tribal to play in the national team. I hope he will improve their performance - they had an innings defeat against the Maldives recently. I would have played myself except for the fact that I lost a leg some years ago when I was in hospital with a toothache and a doctor recruited through the Unscheduled Caste quota extracted my leg instead of my tooth.
3 May 2056:
There are too many NFCs (Neo-Forward castes) in the IT
business. Under the terms of the Business Reservation Act, their firms
will now be taken over by the other castes. I hope they will be able to
restore the Indian IT industry back to its former glory. For some
unfathomable reason, it has gone down the drain after job reservations
were implemented. I went for a movie featuring star actor Mungeri Ram. He may lack teeth, be four-feet-three and have hair growing out of his nose, but this year it's the turn of the EBC-RYs (Extremely Backward Caste-Rural Yokels) to be stars and Mungeri Ram is the best of the lot. I wonder why foreign movies have become so popular.
4 May 2056:
A truly great day. We now have an OFBMBC (Other Forward But Moderately Backward Caste) general as the Head of the Armed Forces. I hope he'll be able to win back the territory we lost ever since reservations were implemented in the Army. Since then, the north has been taken by Pakistan, the North-east by China, the east by Bangladesh and the south by Sri Lanka and the Maldives. Only last winter, we lost the war against Bhutan and free India is now limited to the western coastal states. But I'm sure the OFBMBC general will turn the tide.
5 May 2056:
My wife and I have been blessed with a bonny daughter. Since my wife's an SBBNSBC (Slightly Backward But Not So Backward Caste), my daughter will be an MBFC-SBBNSBC. I must lobby for reservation for her caste. She's the only member and I'm sure she has a great future.
Even More Reservations
Friday, April 28, 2006
http://isanelyinane.blogspot.com/2006_04_0...ne_archive.html
June 2060: We have even lost Andaman now. Our Army, led by the Head Chef, had no answers to the expert stick-wielding tactics used by the Jarowa tribes. It was the turn of the SBC (Strangely Backward Classes) to lead the Army and he was the only representative of that class in the Army. Our Army, it is heard, threw potatoes and artichokes at the aggressive Jarowa tribesmen. The Jarowa tribes are now inching their way towards Backwardluru.
June 2060: I was browsing through the newspaper of the ARC (Anal Retentive Class) and read an article about how popular the ARC Idol is. There were a record number of entries (5) this year and the finalist, an eighty-year old man, won the contest by 3 votes after his opponent misplaced his dentures. The idol, elated by the news, had a heart attack and passed away.
July 2060: There was a beauty pageant for the MRC (Most Regressive Class). All the contestants were clad in a burkha.
July 2060: Record numbers of students, most from HFFC (Hugely Forward Forward Class) and SBHFFC (Slightly Backward HFFC) have now joined universities in Somalia and even the madrassas of North-West Frontier Province. Said the Dean of an IIM â J (Jaunpur), âWith the arrival of reservations for the FCBCMBC (Forward Class of the Backward Class of the Most Backward Class), there will be less number of seats for the MBFCMBC (Most Backward of the Forward Class of the Moderately Backward Class) and the SFMBMFC (Slightly Forward of the Moderately Backward of the Most Forward Class). The class diversity has also taken a hit. The IIMs no longer have any English-speaking graduates or faculties in classes and even the CAT has to printed in regional dialects.â
August 2060: Today was Independence Day. Children were taken to the Infosys Museum to educate them about their oppressive past. It is said that only MC (Meritorious Class) had ever made it into Infosys before it went bankrupt.
August 2060: The Stock Market went past 100! Most of the push came from the FIIs based in Ghana, Mali and Hawaii. Iâm now a hazaarpati.
September 2060: The budget was announced. Almost 50% of the budget was allocated to the Army for upgrading pistols, electric darts and poison-tipped arrows. Fleets of fishermen boat have been inducted into the Navy. After defeats Pakistan, China, Tibet, Maldives, Burma, Bhutan and Nepal, we needed this to ward off the Jarowa Tribes.
December 2060: Sorry for the delay but I was in the hospital. I was learning typing in Braille. I had to be operated for my tonsillitis but the doctor, the same Unscheduled Caste Quota guy who has sawn off my leg, performed a cataract instead.
An old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his
tomato garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His
only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man
wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
>
>
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to
plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be
digging up a garden plot. If you were here, I know you would dig the
plot for me.
Love, Dad
>
>
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
>
>
Dear Dad,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the BODIES.
Love, Vinnie
>
>
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and
dug up the entire area without finding any bodies.
They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man
received another letter from his son.
>
Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under
the circumstances.
Love, Vinnie
<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin-->All heads of government were in a meeting with God. Each one would ask God as to when their so and so problem would be resolved. God would respond saying that it would be resolved in a decade, by the next Government, a century, during your life time, your successor's life time, etc. In case of India, God remains silent and on persistent requests from Dr. Manmohan Singh, God angrily retorts saying "How do you expect me to answer your question when I do not see the problem getting resolved even during my life time".<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin--><b>Amorous boys go into hiding on Raksha Bandhan </b> <!--emo&:clapping--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/clap.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='clap.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:bcow--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/b_cowboy.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='b_cowboy.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Nityanand Shukla | Ranchi
With two days to go for Raksha Bandhan, young men seeking romantic encounters with girls are gearing up to play hide-and-seek with possible girlfriends who could trick them into becoming their brothers by tying rakhis.
SMSs being circulated among the men give tips on how to give the slip to these unwanted sisters. <b>"Apki thori si laparwahi apko bhai bana sakti hai (your casual attitude can make you brother)" </b>is one of the messages being circulated.
<b>"If you do not want any girl (unwanted sisters) to tie a rakhi you should be alert. Close your door. Get out from the house early in the morning and stay away till late at night." "Be alert while travelling in bus, tempo, trains and other public transport." </b>
One message says <b>"Payal chamkate aur muskuarate hue ayee aur muskkurate chali gaye. Main sindoor lekar khada raha aur woh rakhi pehnake chali gayi (She came with smiling, shining anklet and went back smiling. I was left standing with vermillion and she came and tied a rakhi)."</b>
The message assumes significance as Raksha Bandhan will be celebrated this Wednesday. "We accept any relationship of the heart. There are many girls with whom we flirt and they come to our houses on Raksha Bandhan day and tie a rakhi. It puts us in Catch- 22 situation" said Rohan an undergraduate at St Xavier's in Ranchi. He said "I already have two sisters and making new relations is not a bad idea but maintaining them is difficult."
<b>"I was flirting with a girl and trying to make her my beloved. Last year she gave me a greeting card starting with Dear Bhaiya"</b> said a student of Gossener College." It was indeed very difficult to digest the new relationship and I stopped meeting her and taking her calls," he added.
Many messages doing the rounds are linked to celebrities such as Rakhi Sawant and Mallika Sherawat. "Brother I have sent rakhi to you. Please inform after getting it-Mallika Sherawat." "Be my Rakhi brother and forget the kiss," says another message.
<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Forwarded email:
<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin-->With World Cup fever spreading all over the world our own Laluji also gets affected with it and decides to watch a football match..
10 minutes into the game, confused Lalu asks his PA :
LALU :- YE SARE LOG FOOTBALL KO LATH KYU MAR RAHE HAIN?
Â
P.A. :- GOAL KARNE KE LIYE ....
Â
LALU : - SASURA PAHILE SE HI TO GOL HAI AUR KITNA GOL KARENGE.
<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--emo&  --><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tongue.gif' /><!--endemo--> Equal? Who, You?
Bachi Karkaria
RSS Feeds| SMS NEWS to 8888 for latest updates
All men are born equal; and most women are born more so. Remember, how much you made women sweat for the privilege? Well, what do you know? It made women realise there was no point in getting all hot and bothered about it.
The gender equation would always be skewed. Women were simply encoded with a superior set of chromosomes. Theirs was not to question Y; theirs was but to be XXtra strong, mentally and cerebrally.
They were simply brawn-free however much they were sought to be kept in chains. The falling sperm count is both cause and effect of this reality.
It has led to the increased irrelevance of a male partner for either recreation or procreation. And this has further disheartened those little tails struggling for survival. Men can blame aggressive feminism for their fall.
They can whine about being emasculated by female bosses. The even more brutal question is What's Nooyi? Sorry, guys, but it was much the same even in the old, uhmm, male-dominated past.
The only difference was that the traditional woman got her way by letting her man think it was his.
< Previous|1|2|
<!--emo&:blink:--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/blink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='blink.gif' /><!--endemo--> 88-yr-old father increases demand for camel's milk
[ 29 Aug, 2006 0124hrs ISTTIMES NEWS NETWORK ]
RSS Feeds| SMS NEWS to 8888 for latest updates
JAIPUR: There is new-found respect in the region for the resilient ship of the desert. Ever since 88-year-old Barmer farmer Virmaram Jat, who fathered a boy a few weeks ago, said camel milk was the secret of his sexual prowess, the demand for this "aphrodisiac" has shot up.
Inquiries have been pouring in. Local demand has shot up to the extent that the few vendors who stock camel milk have hiked its price, capitalising on the demand.
Sangram Singh, who sells camel milk in Jodhpur's Jalori Gate, has now priced it at a whopping Rs 40 per litre, instead of the Rs 20-25 a litre that he was charging only a month ago.
Others too have followed suit and there seems to be a race to procure camel milk. To the extent that people are ruing the fact that while in countries like Dubai and UAE preserved and packaged camel milk is available, this is not the case in India.
However, Jat's claim has not sunk in well with doctors in Bikaner and Jaipur. Doctors feel that Jat's sexual prowess has nothing to do with drinking camel's milk. They say he is one of the few individuals who have managed to retain their sexual urge despite advancing age.
1|2|Next >
09-06-2006, 03:23 AM
(This post was last modified: 09-06-2006, 03:29 AM by Bodhi.)
Thanks Admins!
09-06-2006, 03:25 AM
(This post was last modified: 09-06-2006, 03:27 AM by Bodhi.)
This happened during those days when TV serial Mahabharat of BR Chopra was a big hit of the time.
An excited muslim exclaims to his Hindu coworker, "Man!! I have been watching Mahabharat for last few episodes. I did not know before that Bheeshma and Arjun were muslims."
<!--emo&:omg--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/omg.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='omg.gif' /><!--endemo--> Surprised by the revelation, Hindu coworker of course asks why he thought so.
"Because whenever Arjun goes to meet Bheeshma, Bheeshma welcomes him as 'Aao Usman Bhai'"
It is only after long contemplation did Hindu realize what the guy was referring to. Of course 'Ayushman Bhav'.
<!--emo&  --><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo-->
about time I say !!!
<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin-->We always hear "the rules"
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to
act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin-->While visiting India, George Bush is invited to tea with Abdul Kalam.
He asks Kalam what his leadership philosophy is. He says that, it is to surround himself with intelligent people.
Bush asks how he knows if they're intelligent.
"I do so by asking them the right questions," says Kalam. "Allow me to demonstrate."
Bush watches as Kalam phones Manmohan Singh and says,
"Mr.Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"
Manmohan immediately responds, "It's me, Sir !"
"Correct. Thank you and good-bye" says Kalam. He hangs
up and says,"Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"
Bush nods: "Yes Mr.President. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"
Bush, upon returning to Washington,decides he'd better put Condoleeza Rice to the test.
Bush summons her to the White House and says,
"Condoleeza, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."
"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"
Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister.Who is it?"
Rice was puzzled and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?" Bush agrees, and Rice leaves.
Rice immediately calls a meeting of senior senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Rice calls ColinPowell and explains the problem.
"Mr. Powell, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."
Much relieved, Rice rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is!
  It's our Colin Powell!"
And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, it's Manmohan Singh!"<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--emo& --><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo--> James Bond vs Hyderabad guy
James Bond Style : The character James Bond has a peculiar style of introducing himself by saying first Bond, then followed by great smile & finally James Bond.
His style is absolutely killing but he doesn't know the consequences when he meets our great south indian guy.
When Bond meets a Hyderabad guy
James Bond : "My name's Bond...(smiles and then says).... James Bond."
James Bond: "And you?"
Telugu Guy : "I am Sai... Venkata Sai... Siva Venkata Sai... Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai....Srinivasulu Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai... Rajasekhara Srinivasulu Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai..... Sitaramanjaneyulu Rajasekhara Srinivasulu Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai.... Bommiraju Sitaramanjaneyulu Rajasekhara Srinivasulu Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai....
James Bond faints!!!
<!--emo&:roll--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ROTFL.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='ROTFL.gif' /><!--endemo--> A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost.
She reduced altitude and spotted a man below.
She descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me?
I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am
"The man below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.
"I am", replied the man.
"How did you know?"
"Well, answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information,and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all.
If anything, you've delayed my trip even more."
The man below responded, "You must be in management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going.
You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air.
You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems." !!
|
