Pakistan : Terrorist Wahabi Islamic Rep Pakistan 7

[ravish]

It is nice to see the report that Pakistan officials had the courage to prevent unauthorised entry of US official in a restricted area.Of late US officials posted in Pakistan are often behaving as super boss.It is good t see that they are shown their right place and should show respect to the sovereignty of other nations.Despite our political differences with Pakistan, we should support Pakistan on such issues.

[Naresh]

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2,232 Virgins and 1,116 Boys requisitioned in Lower Dir



LOWER DIR : A suicide bomber attacked a funeral of a member of a pro-government Pashtun tribe in a village in northwest Pakistan on Thursday, [color="#FF0000"]killing at least 31 people,[/color] police said.



More than 35 people were wounded in the attack in Lower Dir district near the Afghan border, where Taliban militants have carried out several attacks over recent years.



“It was a suicide attack and it happened when people were offering funeral prayers,” police official Saleem Marwat told Reuters.



Pakistani Taliban militants have stepped up attacks on pro-government tribes recently.



The militants claimed responsibility for an attack on a school bus on Tuesday which killed five people, saying the children on the bus were from a pro-government tribe.



The US-backed government has persuaded some tribes to take up arms against militant groups.



The Pakistani Taliban are holding hostage more than 20 young men from another pro-government Pashtun tribe in an area straddling the border with Afghanistan and have demanded the release of scores of prisoners and an end to support of offensives against them.



The teenage tribesmen from the northwestern Bajaur region were abducted by the militants on Aug. 31 while they were on an outing in Afghanistan’s border province of Kunar.



Cheers

[Naresh]

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[url="http://www.geo.tv/9-15-2011/86263.htm"]Pakistan may part ways with IMF[/url]



ISLAMABAD : Pakistan is mulling to wean itself from International Monetary Fund (IMF) stand-by loan programme, a step that would deny it a couple of yet to be received tranches worth $3 billion, Geo News reported Thursday.



According to details the country’s financial managers are pondering upon the prospects of breaking the debt-shackles, but a final decision will not be taken till a meeting slated for September 23-25 with the IMF authorities in the US.



Sources privy to the matter told Geo News that it is quite probable that Pakistan may neither apply for an extension nor engage in a new loan programme. If it comes to pass then the country’s economy will break free form any direct IMF loan agreement by October 1 this year.



Sources in ministry of finance added that Pakistan was to receive two tranches worth $3 billion in the successful culmination of the loan programme it is currently in, which is a far cry in the given circumstances.



Pakistan is also deliberating about borrowing $5-7 billion from the lender of the last resort to boot.



According to sources the country’s foreign exchange reserves are enough to foot IMF’s repayments due in 2012. In addition to that the government is also giving serious thought to buying oil from Saudi Arabia and Iran on deferred payments.



Pakistan economic team is most likely to leave for the US next week to hold important meeting with the International Monetary Fund at the sidelines of a World Bank and IMF annual meeting to be held from September 23-25 in Washington.



Finance Minister Dr Abdul Hafeez Shaikh would lead the Pakistani side in the annual meeting of WB and IMF.



Cheers

[Naresh]

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PSO stops diesel supply to Railways





LAHORE : Pakistan Railways is experiencing a severe shortage of fuel and according to officials, if diesel is not received by Saturday night then operating trains will become difficult, Geo News reported Saturday.



Railways officials add that due to default of millions, Pakistan State Oil (PSO) has stopped the supply of diesel. Due to the stoppage, [color="#FF0000"]Khyber Mill, Awan Express along with several other trains have been left standing at different stations.[/color]



According to sources, Railways officials in a tactic to apply pressure on the government have asked the labour union to become vocal.



This prompted the union to call an emergency meeting in which it was decided that they would protest outside parliament against the non-supply of diesel.



Cheers [color="#FF0000"][/color]

[Guest]

[url="http://www.dawn.com/2011/09/20/around-20-shia-pilgrims-killed-in-quetta.html"]Gunmen kill 29 Shia pilgrims in two attacks[/url]

QUETTA: Gunmen shot dead 26 Pakistani Shia Muslim pilgrims travelling to Iran on Tuesday, the deadliest attack on the minority community in Pakistan for more than a year, officials said.

[Naresh]

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[url="http://www.thenews.com.pk/NewsDetail.aspx?ID=23151&title=Maj-Gen-Javed-Iqbal-hurt-in-chopper-attack"]Maj Gen Javed Iqbal hurt in chopper attack[/url]



[center][/center]



SWAT: General Officer Commanding (GOC) Swat, Major General Javed Iqbal has been hurt in an attack on his chopper, Geo News reported.



He was flying in Swat's Nusrat Darra area when his official helicopter came under attack at 11:30 am. He received minor injuries in his right leg and was shifted to CMH Rawalpindi via same helicopter.



Cheers

[Naresh]

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[url="http://www.geo.tv/9-21-2011/86527.htm"]PSM furnaces feared to grow cold[/url]





[center][/center]





KARACHI : Wasif Mehmood, the acting chief executive of Pakistan Steel Mills (PSM) has said that the steelmaker is suffering a loss of Rs100 billion every month making it hard to keep its furnaces hot for long, Geo News reported.



Talking to Geo News he said PSM has given three options to government including a demand for a loan worth Rs14 billion.



On the other hand PSM workers and officers also raised the issue of lowering production, salaries, and other benifits.



[color="#FF0000"]Mehmood warned that the way raw material supplies are reducing, PSM’s furnaces will grow cold before long.[/color]



He said we have proposed to the government that either allow us have Rs14 billion soft or invite foreign investment or sell chunks of PSM land worth Rs85 billion.



He said we have been making rounds of the government corridors with the abovementioned proposals but to no avail.



Cheers

[Guest]

[url="http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/09/22/us-usa-pakistan-idUSTRE78K7XA20110922"]U.S. blames Pakistan agency in Kabul attack, Senate aims[/url]

WASHINGTON (Reuters)- U.S. officials said there was mounting evidence that Pakistan's powerful intelligence agency had encouraged a guerrilla network to attack U.S. targets, while a Senate committee voted to make aid to Islamabad conditional on fighting the militants.

Why this is news?

[Guest]

[quote name='Mudy' date='22 September 2011 - 10:15 AM' timestamp='1316666242' post='112953']

[url="http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/09/22/us-usa-pakistan-idUSTRE78K7XA20110922"]U.S. blames Pakistan agency in Kabul attack, Senate aims[/url]



Why this is news?

[/quote]

The answer is right in the news:Some public posturing to extract concessions, that is all.

-----



"A Pakistani official sought to play down the differences.



"Pakistan values its relationship with the U.S. and is committed to eliminating terrorism in Afghanistan and from our soil," said the official. "We will look at all evidence shared by the U.S. side and deal harshly with anyone and everyone responsible for terrorism."

-----

[Arun_S]

[url="http://www.kforcegov.com/Services/IS/NightWatch/NightWatch_11000193.aspx"]http://www.kforcegov...h_11000193.aspx[/url]

[size="2"]Night[/size][color="#808080"]Watch[/color]

For the night of 22 September 2011Pakistan-US: US Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Admiral Mullen said on 22 September that Pakistan is exporting violent extremism to Afghanistan by allowing the Haqqani network to act as an "arm" of Pakistan's Inter-Services Intelligence (ISI) agency.



Mullen told a US Senate panel that Haqqani operatives executed attacks with ISI support, including the 28 June Kabul hotel attack; an 11 September truck bombing; and the 13 September attack on the US Embassy in Kabul. Mullen said using violent extremism as a policy tool jeopardizes US-Pakistani relations and Pakistan's opportunity to be a respected nation with legitimate regional influence.



Special Comment:[color="#9932CC"] Mullen's testimony is important because it signifies the US Defense Department, not just intelligence agencies, now accepts what Mullen has denied in public before.[/color] It is unusual because this kind of disclosure should have been made by the head of DIA of the US Deputy Secretary of Defense for Intelligence, not the Chairman, JCS.



[color="#9932CC"]For six years or longer Intelligence agencies and NightWatch open source analyses have reported that Pakistan is a state sponsor and active supporter of terrorism in South Asia -Afghanistan, India and Bangladesh-- as an arm of national security policy.[/color]



[color="#800080"]For four years Mullen, on behalf of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, has advanced the notion that a person-to-person relationship with Pakistan Army Chief of Army Staff General Kayani could change Pakistani hostility to the Karzai government, promote peace on the sub-continent and end Pakistani support for terrorism and for nuclear proliferation.[/color]



Today's testimony indicates that such a misguided, well intentioned peculiarly American approach has failed in every category, once again, and is now no longer US policy. Mullen was the architect of this policy and so he is the spokesman for its failure. It has taken four years for this epiphany to take place.



Some might argue that the personal approach helped secure US supply lines through Pakistan to Afghanistan. The counter argument is that in building a logistics system that relied on Pakistan the US taxpayers financed and supported both sides of the insurgency for ten years plus Pakistani trucking concerns.



[color="#4B0082"]The hard lesson for some American seniors is the realization that Kayani and his cohorts have never been free agents in the Pakistan system. They are superb representatives and defenders of a system of strategic precepts that India is the enemy; Islamic fundamentalists are Pakistani patriots; the US is an inconstant ally that should never be trusted and that Afghanistan is the battlefield for proxy war to protect Pakistan's western flank from a two-front war by India. That summarizes Pakistani strategic doctrine, minus the Pakistani nuclear doctrine of shooting India before India shoots Pakistan.[/color]



Kayani was Musharraf's hand-picked successor and Musharraf despised the US. Kayani has never said anything officially nor made any significant changes to Pakistan security policy that the US wanted during the past four years.



A policy of personal relationship crafted to change the security policy of a so-called ally is manipulative, transparent and never works. Everybody knows this and this was not an intelligence failure. It was a policy choice. Today's testimony indicates the US Defense Department might finally understand that policy towards Pakistan must be based on national interests, not personal relationships. That is how the Pakistanis have manipulated the US for years.



Pakistan is not a US ally, partner, or friend, despite $ billions in arms aid. The US is Pakistan's customer. The US has paid top dollar for what little begrudging assistance it received from Pakistan. Pakistan spent every US dollar to enable it to fight India.



With luck, a new, more pragmatic, clear sighted US policy towards Pakistan should start to emerge under Secretary Panetta.



Afghanistan: Update. Afghan security authorities announced that the assassination of former President Rabbani was the work of agents of Pakistani intelligence. Afghan sources also report that the Afghan government is infuriated by President Obama's refusal to meet President Karzai at the UN, prior to the Rabbani murder. Obama met Palestinian President Abbas, who rebuffed him, but not Karzai.

[Naresh]

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[url="http://tribune.com.pk/story/259056/10-water-shortage-likely-in-upcoming-sowing-season/"]10% water shortage likely in upcoming sowing season[/url]



ISLAMABAD: Pakistan will be facing 10 per cent shortage of water in upcoming Rabi crop sowing season because of scarcity of dams, despite massive floods caused by torrential rains for the last two years.



Punjab and Sindh, the major crop producing provinces and the main consumers of water, will share the water shortage while Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa and Balochistan, which are not so heavily depended on agriculture and owing to infrastructure constraints, are exempted in the upcoming Rabi season, which will start next month, officials say.



At present, authorities dealing with water issues are compelled to release 175,000 cusecs per day from downstream Kotri into sea due to lack of storages instead of 5,000 cusecs as per environmental standards.



“The country has lost nine million acre feet (MAF) of water over the last three months and the figure is expected to reach 12 MAF in the current Kharif season,” a source said. In last year’s floods, 55 MAF of water was wasted which went into sea due to lack of reservoirs.



Indus River System Authority (Irsa) spokesman Khalid Idrees Rana, while talking to The Express Tribune, said the country was losing storage capacity as now it could store 12 MAF compared to 15 MAF earlier.



“Despite rains, we cannot store more water than our capacity and therefore 10 per cent water shortage has been projected for the Rabi season,” he said, adding the Irsa advisory committee would finalise the water distribution plan in a meeting to be held on September 30.



In a meeting of Irsa’s technical advisory committee, held on Friday, provincial representatives failed to develop consensus on water losses caused by the floods. Representatives of provincial irrigation departments, Water and Power Development Authority (Wapda), Irsa and Pakistan Meteorological Department attended the meeting.



Officials said Irsa representatives expected no water losses because of the impact of recent floods which had recharged canals and raised overall water table. However, provinces rejected the claim, saying at present it was not possible to project water losses.



According to the officials, the committee projected inflow of 21.7 MAF in rivers by the end of Rabi season in March 2012 while 11.9 MAF already stored would be available in major reservoirs including Tarbela, Mangla and Chashma by the end of September. For Rabi crops including wheat, gram, lentil, potato, onion, mustard, oilseeds, minor crops, fruits, fodder and medicinal herbs, more than 34.5 MAF will be available.



Under the 1991 water accord, provincial shares are based on total water availability of 38.21 MAF, including already sanctioned quantity for urban and industrial uses in Karachi.



Published in The Express Tribune, September 24th, 2011.



Cheers

[Guest]

Recall of Hina is just a drama to get AID and Congress to pass bill. Aid to Pakistan is on chopping board.

[Guest]

[url="http://dailypioneer.com/pioneer-news/top-story/9013-pak-shared-nuclear-secrets-with-iran-libya-isi-report.html"]Pak shared nuclear secrets with Iran, Libya: ISI report[/url]

Pakistan, which used every "legal and illegal" means to go nuclear, shared its secret atomic technology and equipment with countries like Iran and Libya, says an ISI report, based on disgraced scientist A Q Khan's questioning, which was circulated among western intelligence agencies.

[ravish]

[size="5"][/size]



In recent weeks there have been intensive media reports and speculations on US-Pakistan relations. The US authorities have blamed Pakistan of masterminding certain attacks on its assets in Afghanistan and have in fact blamed a section of the ISI. This has been followed by reports that US President has refused to meet the Pakistan Prime Minister on the sidelines of the UNGA. The latest is the cutting short of visit by the Pakistan Foreign Minister to New York.



The following press release from the US State Department is worth taking note of in this context:-



Quote

Washington,DC



September 15, 2011





Today, the Secretary of State designated the Indian Mujahideen (IM) as a Foreign Terrorist Organization (FTO) under Section 219 of the Immigration and Nationality Act and as a Specially Designated Global Terrorist under section 1(<img src='http://www.india-forum.com/forums/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/cool.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='B)' /> of Executive Order 13224. An India-based terrorist group with significant links to Pakistan, IM is responsible for dozens of bomb attacks throughout India since 2005, and has caused the deaths of hundreds of innocent civilians. IM maintains close ties to other U.S. - designated terrorist entities including Pakistan-based Lashkar e-Tayyiba (LeT), Jaish-e-Mohammed (JEM) and Harakat ul-Jihad-i-Islami (HUJI). IM’s stated goal is to carry out terrorist actions against non-Muslims in furtherance of its ultimate objective – an Islamic Caliphate across South Asia.

IM’s primary method of attack is multiple coordinated bombings in crowded areas against economic and civilian targets to maximize terror and casualties. In 2010, IM carried out the bombing of a popular German bakery in Pune, India frequented by tourists, killing 17 and injuring over 60 people. In 2008, an IM attack in Delhi killed 30 people. Also in 2008, IM was responsible for 16 synchronized bomb blasts in crowded urban centers and a local hospital that killed 38 and injured more than 100 in Ahmedabad. IM also played a facilitative role in the 2008 Mumbai attack carried out by LeT that killed 163 people, including six Americans.

“These designations highlight the threat posed by IM not only to Western interests, but to India, a close U.S. partner. The Indian populace has borne the brunt of IM’s wanton violence and today’s actions illustrate our solidarity with the Indian Government,” stated Ambassador Daniel Benjamin, the Department of State’s Coordinator for Counterterrorism. These designations play a critical role in our fight against terrorism and are an effective means of curtailing support for terrorist activities and pressuring groups to abandon terrorism.

The consequences of these designations include a prohibition against knowingly providing material support or resources to, or engaging in other transactions with, the Indian Mujahideen, and the freezing of all property and interests in property of the organization that are in the United States, or come within the United States, or the control of U.S. persons. The Department of State took these actions in consultation with the Department of Justice and the Department of Treasury.



Unquote



There are no new facts in this Press Release and the actions taken by United States as stated therein. We in India welcome this belated realization by the United States. However, the timing of this action needs to be taken note of. It appears to be the part of a grand US plan to pressurize Pakistan in taking some real action against the terrorist outfits. In case, it is beyond Pakistan’s capacity to do so, the US may want to operate more openly within Pakistan against the terrorist outfits operating from within that country.



In the normal circumstances, given the already anti US sentiments in a section of the Pakistan society, no Government or political outfit in that country would allow a free hand to the United States. Only future will tell whether Pakistan will have the last laugh or it will succumb to US pressure.



As far as India is concerned the only positive fallout will be that the US either directly or through Pakistan may take some decisive action against the terrorist outfits operating from Pakistan. This may give some respite to us from terrorist threats to some extent. In conclusion I would also like to mention that it is almost impossible for the USA to completely cut off all ties with Pakistan. It’s need for Pakistan is still there as it was in the early 1950s but for different reasons.

[Naresh]

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[url="http://www.dawn.com/2011/09/28/twelve-pia-planes-grounded-due-to-faults.html"]Twelve PIA planes grounded due to faults[/url]



[center][/center]



KARACHI: The national and international flight schedule of the Pakistan International Airlines has been severely affected even before the national carrier’s Hajj operations could start, DawnNews reported on Wednesday.



At least 12 planes have been grounded due to technical faults causing massive disruption in the flight services.



Out of PIA’s 39 planes, only 29 are operating.



PIA’s flight PK 368 from Karachi to Islamabad was almost delayed by three hours yesterday, whereas a Peshawar to UAE bound flight PK-255 made an emergency landing after developing a technical fault in one of its generators.



A flight from Islamabad to Skardu PK-451 was also cancelled while other scheduled flights have been continuously delayed as well.



Cheers

[Naresh]

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[url="http://www.dawn.com/2011/09/30/us-drone-kills-three-militants-in-south-waziristan.html"]US drone kills three militants in South Waziristan[/url]



PESHAWAR: A US drone Friday killed at least three militants when it fired missiles on a vehicle in a restive Pakistan tribal area bordering Afghanistan, security officials said.



[center][/center]



[center]The strike took place at Baghar village of South Waziristan tribal district, two security officials said. — Photo by AFP[/center]



The strike took place at Baghar village of South Waziristan tribal district, two security officials said.



“A US drone fired two missiles at a vehicle and at least three militants were killed,” a senior security official told AFP.



Another security official and an intelligence official based in the region confirmed the attack and death toll.



The identities or affiliations of the militants were not immediately clear.



Although the United States does not publicly confirm drone attacks, its military and the CIA in Afghanistan are the only forces that deploy the unmanned Predator aircraft in the region



Cheers

[Naresh]

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[url="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-south-asia-15109629"]Ten years of meltdown in Pakistan[/url]



After a decade scarred by escalating militancy, deadly waves of suicide bombings and truculent relations with the West, Ahmed Rashid considers the devastating impact that the 9/11 attacks in the US had on Pakistan.



Since 2001, the Pakistani state has turned into a far bigger crisis for its people, the region and the international community than anyone could have imagined.



After spending the past 10 years ostensibly fighting the "war on terror" as partners of the United States, Pakistan now finds itself on a war footing with the Americans.



This follows accusations by top US officials that Pakistan's intelligence agency, the ISI, is aiding the Afghan extremist Jalaluddin Haqqani network, which is attacking US forces in Afghanistan.



Pakistanis are now fearing some kind of unilateral US action.



It could take the shape of increased bombing by drone missiles, which have already killed thousands of people - many of them militants, but also Pakistani civilians.



The Pakistan army is now on a high state of combat alert ready to meet any threat. What on Earth happened to bring this crisis about ?



Mired in scandal



There is no doubt that Pakistan has suffered enormously from being a partner of the US war in Afghanistan.



The government response to the devastating floods in Sindh province has been criticised

The economy has been in a state of meltdown for months because of the violence, a lack of investment, and an energy crisis, while inflation is at an all-time high. Now there is large-scale capital flight as wealthy Pakistanis relocate outside the country.



Although Pakistan has received $20.5bn (£12.8bn) from the US in aid since 2001, about 70% of that has gone to the military. Spending on education and health has declined dramatically. Since it came into power in 2008, the Pakistan People's Party government has failed to offer good governance and is mired in corruption scandals.



Ethnic unrest has increased immeasurably with a separatist insurgency in Balochistan and the growth of the Pakistani Taliban, which has led to the state in effect losing control of between 10% and 15% of the country's territory.



Many Pakistanis now acknowledge that there has been a national failure of both the civilian and military elite to give the country leadership. The elite lacks all sense of responsibility towards the public, refuses to pay taxes or provide adequate services to the people and is viewed as corrupt.



There is no civilian control over the armed forces and in fact the recent crisis with the US has made the army enormously powerful once again in relation to the government and the politicians.



It was indicative that President Asif Ali Zardari disappeared from the political scene as the crisis with the US worsened and has spent much time abroad, while decisions were made not by the civilian cabinet or the defence committee of the cabinet but by the army's powerful Corps Commanders.



The military dictates the country's foreign policy especially towards India, Afghanistan and the US, consumes more than 30% of the national budget and runs several intelligence services that are unaccountable to parliament or the courts.



Internal extremism



The military and political elite's use of Islamic extremists to pursue foreign policy goals and agendas for several decades in India and Afghanistan has now backfired and created an internal extremist movement - the Pakistani Taliban which has brutally targeted the armed forces and civilians.



Sectarian attacks against Pakistan's minorities have increased sharply

There has been little change in this scenario and the military's thinking since the 1950s, although the Cold War has ended, globalisation has come and gone, and democratic movements are bursting out all over the Muslim world.



One of the first demands of the participants of the Arab Spring is democratic control over their armed forces and greater accountability from the intelligence services - something that Pakistan is sorely lacking.



On the other hand, the political parties have also failed to offer a viable alternative. The parties now preside over a wave of intolerance by extremists against minority non-Muslim and Muslim groups and refuse to take them on. The elite refuse to pay taxes or carry out meaningful economic reforms.



Their failure to deal with the social and political meltdown in Karachi has left hundreds of people dead and tortured by political and criminal mafias.



A litany of natural disasters including devastating floods in 2010 and again in 2011 and an epidemic of dengue fever in Punjab were unavoidable, but governmental concern and aid delivery has been totally inadequate.



Afghan solution



Pakistanis have begun to fear the worst - international isolation, internal anarchy, the danger of civil war, a possible coup by Islamic militants. All of these scenarios were implausible a few years ago but are now well in the realm of possibilities.



Change can only start coming about when the war in Afghanistan ends. For that, Pakistan needs to stop giving sanctuary to the Taliban and offer to broker immediate talks between the insurgents and the Kabul regime and the Americans. That must be coupled with a deadline for the Afghan Taliban to leave Pakistan.



The Pakistani Taliban wield immense power in parts of the country

There is the hope that this government will survive until the next elections so that for the first time in its history, Pakistan can see a change of regime through democratic means. However, if Pakistan is to be lumbered with the same political leadership as today, then change and progress will be impossible to achieve.



Before the elections, both President Zardari and opposition leader Nawaz Sharif should offer that they will not stand to lead the country in the next elections and will encourage a new leadership to emerge though democratic elections held in their respective parties.



Pakistan is on the edge of a precipice and one faulty step - either by the Americans or the Pakistan army - could plunge an already beleaguered state into meltdown.



The country needs political solutions to its problems but at the same it has to galvanise all its resources to fight the scourge of domestic militant extremism, and that means helping peace in Afghanistan so the Afghan Taliban can leave the country.



Ahmed Rashid's book, Taliban, was updated and reissued recently on the 10th anniversary of its publication. His latest book is Descent into Chaos - The US and the Disaster in Pakistan, Afghanistan and Central Asia.



Cheers

[Naresh]

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[url="http://www.dawn.com/2011/10/03/announcing-pakistan%e2%80%99s-first-american-presidential-candidate.html"]Announcing Pakistan’s first American presidential candidate[/url]



My name is Ug. Ug Lee American. And I am running for president. Of Pakistan, that is. My dear Pakistanis, you insist our bullying and meddling behavior in your country is a bad thing. On the contrary: Such intrusive behavior is wholly benign, and, if intensified, will ultimately bring Pakistan the stability and prosperity that have long eluded it.



Occupying President House shall enable us to institutionalise our domineering ways, and hasten Pakistan’s transition to a stable and developed democratic state. Stabilisation will be the initial goal.



Once ensconced in the presidential palace, I will mobilise our in-country assets – thousands of spies, hundreds of fighters representing the Blackwater beast incarnate, battalions of bearded Special Forces, scores of aid-workers-cum-CIA-operatives, dozens of pistol-toting diplomats, Ronald McDonald, Elmo, and cooperative locals such as Rani the Muppet – to unleash a devastating assault on the dark forces that terrorise Pakistan. We will first target the ruthless anti-state militants, in all their cross-dressing, Darth Vader-resembling glory.



I will then set in motion a battle royale between our proxy forces (Mossad, RAW, and Gary Faulkner the bounty hunter) and Pakistan’s (LeT, the Afghan Taliban, and the Haqqani network). Haqqani is particularly high-priority, so we shall reserve the right to call in our troops from Afghanistan to provide support.



With these groups pacified, we will act promptly to neutralise the sole remaining threat – loose nukes. We will seize Pakistan’s nuclear weapons, to ensure they don’t fall into the dangerous hands of the civilian government. The fact that we have not the foggiest idea of the nukes’ location shall not stop us from carrying out this most essential of tasks. With the security situation under control, I will turn to the next priority: economic development.



Currently, our average annual economic assistance to Pakistan generously provides the equivalent of USD 2.67 to every Pakistani – the cost, Mohsin Hamid helpfully informs us, of a six-inch Pizza Hut pizza in Lahore. To that end, I shall promulgate that the Edhi Foundation’s armada of ambulances be deputed to deliver one of these items to every Pakistani citizen annually. Pizza delivery causes infinitely fewer headaches than aid delivery, and Edhi ably serves the role of effective, dependable local partner.



To be sure, America is not naïve, and realises that Pakistanis cannot subsist on pizza. Alas, Pakistan’s agricultural sector is in shambles, ravaged by underinvestment, water shortages, and demand-side inefficiencies. To overcome these obstacles, I shall conjure up America’s meteorology-manipulating superpowers to generate an immense flood – one that irrigates millions of hectares of farmland, leading to fresh new produce and crops ready to be consumed, sold to local markets, exported, and, on only the rarest of occasions, left to rot in poorly climatised storage warehouses.



Stable and satiated, Pakistan’s remaining challenge will be job creation. As president, I will unveil an innovative new employment initiative that shall make the American Jobs Act back home seem downright Hooveresque by comparison. We will hire thousands – if not millions – of Pakistanis to massage the facial muscles of American diplomats and officials that have become chronically sore from incessantly uttering “Do more!” We will establish MOZs – massage opportunity zones – in newly pacified areas throughout Pakistan, enabling masseurs to hone their skills. We will grant these masseurs tariff-free access to the profitable American market, and especially Washington, DC, the chief bastion of sore-faced, “do more!”-squawking diplomats.



Pakistani masseurs in America will send home their large remittances – a particularly advantageous new revenue source for Pakistan given Islamabad’s recent decision to part ways with the IMF. In essence, the massage program will boost employment and strengthen the economy.



Granted, I must be elected prior to implementing this master plan. Happily, I have full confidence in my ability to emerge victorious; I have retained a dream team of campaign advisers boasting either deep operational leadership experience inside Pakistan (Erik Prince and the former-CIA-station-chiefs-who-cannot be named), or the dynastic bonafides that ensure political triumph in Pakistan (Caroline Kennedy, assorted Bushes, and various Kardashians).



I admit several folks have said to me, “Ug, why on earth are you doing this? Given bilateral tensions and sensitivities over affronts to sovereignty, why run for president of Pakistan? Wouldn’t that rub a bit of salt in the wounds?”



My response is always the same: “How else will we bring about the stable, prosperous, responsible Pakistani state sought by America, Pakistan, and the world on the whole?”



Nearly 50 years ago, President John F. Kennedy, speaking before a huge crowd in Berlin, famously proclaimed “Ich bin ein Berliner”. Today, speaking thousands of miles from Pakistan, holed up in an underground bunker at an undisclosed location somewhere in the deserts of Nevada, surrounded by exuberant, joystick-wielding young men eying live-feeds of unmanned drones, I declare to you all: “Pakistan Zindabad!”.



Michael Kugelman is the program associate for South Asia at the Woodrow Wilson International Center for Scholars in Washington, DC. He can be reached at michael.kugelman@wilsoncenter.org



Cheers

[Guest]

[url="http://washingtonexaminer.com/politics/2011/10/us-confirms-attacks-pakistani-military-units"]U.S. confirms attacks by Pakistani military units[/url]

KABUL, Afghanistan -- Pakistani military units fired shots at American and Afghan government troops along the Afghanistan border several times over the past year, in encounters the United States has downplayed but that illustrate the fraying relations between the countries, according to officials.

On Wednesday, Afghanistan's foreign ministry issued an angry warning to Pakistan after claiming that about 300 rockets had been launched across the Pakistani border into the Nuristan and Kunar provinces of Afghanistan, killing an unspecified number of civilians.



Pakistan responded that its government was targeting insurgents belonging to Tehreek-e-Taliban, a designated terrorist group, not Afghan civilians.



But last week's cross-border fire was far from an isolated incident.



Last month, U.S. Apache helicopter crews were fired upon by Pakistan, and they returned fire, wounding at least two Pakistani soldiers, International Security Assistance Force officials said. The American aircraft were in Afghan airspace, according to an ISAF spokesman. Pakistan accused the helicopter crews of crossing the border.



Read more at the Washington Examiner: http://washingtonexaminer.com/politics/2...z1Zls92U2R

[Guest]

[url="http://www.usatoday.com/news/military/story/2011-10-02/ieds-traced-to-pakistan/50638686/1"]Majority of IEDs are traced to Pakistan[/url]

More than 80% of the IEDs are homemade explosives using calcium ammonium nitrate fertilizer produced in Pakistan, said Navy Capt. Douglas Borrebach, deputy director for resources and requirements at the Pentagon's Joint IED Defeat Organization.



"The border is a sieve," Borrebach said. "You can do your checkpoints, but that's not going to help stem the supply."



The military is working with the State Department, other U.S. agencies and Pakistan's government to prevent fertilizer from reaching the insurgents' bomb factories.