01-20-2007, 12:26 AM
<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin-->SUCH GUPÂ - FT
<b>Easy money</b>
<b>Hollywood-Lollywood</b>
Hollywood babe Liz Hurley is soon to tie the knot with long-time beau Non-Resident Indian Arun Nayyar. The wedding will take place in Jaipur in the spring. Hurley has asked Lahore's most famous dancer, Kiran, to come and liven up the occasion, especially the mehendi which will feature Kiran as the star attraction. Kiran's fee, we hear, will be a handsome sum and the attendant publicity even more valuable.
<b>In Godâs name</b>
A madrassa on the edge of Dera Ismail Khan has been in the making for more than a decade. It is spread over 130 kanals of land and all and sundry have contributed generously to its endowment but it is far from complete. Sources say it is a pet project of Maulana Deisel and that many of the hapless who apply to the Frontier government for jobs are asked to contribute to this noble cause. Naturally, the contributors complain when they donât get their jobs for not everyone can be accomodated in the public sector, even if they have demonstrated their piety by being generous to the right causes. At any rate, complainants are blithely told that they contributed âin Godâs nameâ and itâs very naughty of them to want a reward in the here and now.
<b>Return of the Sheikh?</b>
The formerly Informative Sheikh of Pindi has been heard saying how much the real PM misses him at the Min of Inf. He says his successor, M. A. D., is recognized as an abject failure and that heâs been offered his old job back. Islooâs hacks are taking bets on the return of the Sheikh.
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<b>Nuggets from the Urdu press </b>
<b>Milk of a goat cures all</b> <!--emo&
--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo-->
According to daily Khabrain, a car mechanic Mohammad Ramazan in Kasur is using a strange goat as a messiah to cure all the diseases in the world. He printed an ad and distributed handbills in which he asserted that he bought a goat that has two tits that give milk. He gave this milk to a sick girl and she recovered immediately. A blind woman massaged her eyes with that milk and she gained her eyesight. He said this milk is the miracle of God. After this ad, a lot of sick people are coming to his house and he is collecting nazrana from these patients. He said he would build a mosque with the money.
<b>No other sects in NWFP</b>
According to daily Khabrain, the minister for religious affairs Amir Liaqat Ali said that NWFP maulanas want to divide the nation. He said, the government of NWFP doesnât like to see Maulana Muneeb ur Rehman as chairman of Central Ruet-e-Hilal committee. He said that experts of astonomy were consulted during the reign of righteous Caliphs and all the provincial and zonal Ruet-e-Hilal committees formed by NWFP government are illegal. He said Eid canât be celebrated following Saudi Arabia. He said all the sects are represented in central Ruet-e-Hilal committee while the zonal Ruet-e-Hilal committee of NWFP doesnât have ahle tashe or ahle hadith ulema.
<b>Man raped by two Kuwaiti women</b>
According to daily Nawa-i-Waqt, a higher court in Kuwait sentenced two women to seven years in prison for raping and beating a man. According to a newspaper, âAlraiâ, the man, was beaten up and injected with drugs for potency. He presented his medical certificates that proved the sexual assault. Earlier the lower court awarded 15 years imprisonment to both the women.
<b>Fatwa to kill female staff of NGOs</b>
According to daily Jang, the chairperson of human rights commission Asma Jehangir, wrote a letter to interior minister Aftab Sher Pao in which she pointed to a fatwa issued by Mufti Khalid Shah of Dara Adam Khel to kill the women associated with NGOâs and United Nation. International Red Cross and human rights organizations are termed as agents of Jews and West. Mufti Khalid asked the Muslim Umma to kill women worker of NGOs and called it a sacred duty of Muslim. He also urged Muslim to use heavy guns, destroy their houses, attack their cars and loot their homes. She also wrote that one maulana issued a fatwa in Hazara and warned all female NGO staff to leave the area. Asma Jehangir said these mullahs write their sect, name and address and paste their fatwa on the walls. NWFP government registered cases against them but is not taking any action against them. There were three women NGO workers killed during the year 2006.
<b>Princess deported from US</b>
As reported in daily Khabrain, a Saudi princess, Hina Aif Aljidar was deported from the US for violating immigration rules. She was found guilty of confining her employees in her house and forcing them to work for her at lower wages. She was sentenced for two years of surveillance and her six months would be confinement in her house and would be deported to Saudi Arabia.
<b>Our emotions are hurt again</b>
As reported in daily Express, The Cartoon Network has created a cartoon series with the character of the Prophet Moses to instigate the emotions of Muslims. The cartoon series that would destroy the religious thinking of children and would start from Sunday. The satanic plan by cartoon network has hurt the emotions of Muslims in Pakistan. People have started calling newspapers and said that cartoon of the prophet Moses are blasphemous. Some people asked the cable operators not to show cartoon network and asked the parents to watch the kids and not allow them to watch the channel.
Â
<b>Raj Kapoor and Ajmal Khattak were classfellows</b>
In a feature in the daily Express, famous politician and poet Ajmal Khattak wrote that he was the best football player of his school and famous Indian actor Raj Kapoor was his class fellow. He said he would protect Raj Kapoor from teasing by other Pathan boys as he was very good looking. <!--emo&:o--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ohmy.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='ohmy.gif' /><!--endemo-->Â Prithvi Raj who was father of Raj Kapoor liked him very much because he protected his son.
<b>Womenâs bill will destroy households</b> <!--emo&--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo-->
As reported in daily Nawa-i-Waqt, a wife named Nasim hit her husband with a heavy stick and opened a wound in his head when he stopped her from going to bazaar. The injured husband, Razzaq, was brought to a hospital where he lamented that Womenâs Protection Bill is responsible for his wounds. He said now a lot of households would be destroyed because of this bill.
<b>Mother of three marries a Pakistani boy</b>
As reported in daily Express, the American lady Domana Mary Petit, who married a Pakistani boy Amir Khan after their love affair on the internet, was already married and had three children from her first husband. She said she has got a divorce from her first husband. She came to Pakistan and married Amir Khan with the consent of his parents. She submitted her marriage certificate and her statement in a civil court.
<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<b>Easy money</b>
<b>Hollywood-Lollywood</b>
Hollywood babe Liz Hurley is soon to tie the knot with long-time beau Non-Resident Indian Arun Nayyar. The wedding will take place in Jaipur in the spring. Hurley has asked Lahore's most famous dancer, Kiran, to come and liven up the occasion, especially the mehendi which will feature Kiran as the star attraction. Kiran's fee, we hear, will be a handsome sum and the attendant publicity even more valuable.
<b>In Godâs name</b>
A madrassa on the edge of Dera Ismail Khan has been in the making for more than a decade. It is spread over 130 kanals of land and all and sundry have contributed generously to its endowment but it is far from complete. Sources say it is a pet project of Maulana Deisel and that many of the hapless who apply to the Frontier government for jobs are asked to contribute to this noble cause. Naturally, the contributors complain when they donât get their jobs for not everyone can be accomodated in the public sector, even if they have demonstrated their piety by being generous to the right causes. At any rate, complainants are blithely told that they contributed âin Godâs nameâ and itâs very naughty of them to want a reward in the here and now.
<b>Return of the Sheikh?</b>
The formerly Informative Sheikh of Pindi has been heard saying how much the real PM misses him at the Min of Inf. He says his successor, M. A. D., is recognized as an abject failure and that heâs been offered his old job back. Islooâs hacks are taking bets on the return of the Sheikh.
+++++
<b>Nuggets from the Urdu press </b>
<b>Milk of a goat cures all</b> <!--emo&
--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo--> According to daily Khabrain, a car mechanic Mohammad Ramazan in Kasur is using a strange goat as a messiah to cure all the diseases in the world. He printed an ad and distributed handbills in which he asserted that he bought a goat that has two tits that give milk. He gave this milk to a sick girl and she recovered immediately. A blind woman massaged her eyes with that milk and she gained her eyesight. He said this milk is the miracle of God. After this ad, a lot of sick people are coming to his house and he is collecting nazrana from these patients. He said he would build a mosque with the money.
<b>No other sects in NWFP</b>
According to daily Khabrain, the minister for religious affairs Amir Liaqat Ali said that NWFP maulanas want to divide the nation. He said, the government of NWFP doesnât like to see Maulana Muneeb ur Rehman as chairman of Central Ruet-e-Hilal committee. He said that experts of astonomy were consulted during the reign of righteous Caliphs and all the provincial and zonal Ruet-e-Hilal committees formed by NWFP government are illegal. He said Eid canât be celebrated following Saudi Arabia. He said all the sects are represented in central Ruet-e-Hilal committee while the zonal Ruet-e-Hilal committee of NWFP doesnât have ahle tashe or ahle hadith ulema.
<b>Man raped by two Kuwaiti women</b>
According to daily Nawa-i-Waqt, a higher court in Kuwait sentenced two women to seven years in prison for raping and beating a man. According to a newspaper, âAlraiâ, the man, was beaten up and injected with drugs for potency. He presented his medical certificates that proved the sexual assault. Earlier the lower court awarded 15 years imprisonment to both the women.
<b>Fatwa to kill female staff of NGOs</b>
According to daily Jang, the chairperson of human rights commission Asma Jehangir, wrote a letter to interior minister Aftab Sher Pao in which she pointed to a fatwa issued by Mufti Khalid Shah of Dara Adam Khel to kill the women associated with NGOâs and United Nation. International Red Cross and human rights organizations are termed as agents of Jews and West. Mufti Khalid asked the Muslim Umma to kill women worker of NGOs and called it a sacred duty of Muslim. He also urged Muslim to use heavy guns, destroy their houses, attack their cars and loot their homes. She also wrote that one maulana issued a fatwa in Hazara and warned all female NGO staff to leave the area. Asma Jehangir said these mullahs write their sect, name and address and paste their fatwa on the walls. NWFP government registered cases against them but is not taking any action against them. There were three women NGO workers killed during the year 2006.
<b>Princess deported from US</b>
As reported in daily Khabrain, a Saudi princess, Hina Aif Aljidar was deported from the US for violating immigration rules. She was found guilty of confining her employees in her house and forcing them to work for her at lower wages. She was sentenced for two years of surveillance and her six months would be confinement in her house and would be deported to Saudi Arabia.
<b>Our emotions are hurt again</b>
As reported in daily Express, The Cartoon Network has created a cartoon series with the character of the Prophet Moses to instigate the emotions of Muslims. The cartoon series that would destroy the religious thinking of children and would start from Sunday. The satanic plan by cartoon network has hurt the emotions of Muslims in Pakistan. People have started calling newspapers and said that cartoon of the prophet Moses are blasphemous. Some people asked the cable operators not to show cartoon network and asked the parents to watch the kids and not allow them to watch the channel.
Â
<b>Raj Kapoor and Ajmal Khattak were classfellows</b>
In a feature in the daily Express, famous politician and poet Ajmal Khattak wrote that he was the best football player of his school and famous Indian actor Raj Kapoor was his class fellow. He said he would protect Raj Kapoor from teasing by other Pathan boys as he was very good looking. <!--emo&:o--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ohmy.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='ohmy.gif' /><!--endemo-->Â Prithvi Raj who was father of Raj Kapoor liked him very much because he protected his son.
<b>Womenâs bill will destroy households</b> <!--emo&
--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo--> As reported in daily Nawa-i-Waqt, a wife named Nasim hit her husband with a heavy stick and opened a wound in his head when he stopped her from going to bazaar. The injured husband, Razzaq, was brought to a hospital where he lamented that Womenâs Protection Bill is responsible for his wounds. He said now a lot of households would be destroyed because of this bill.
<b>Mother of three marries a Pakistani boy</b>
As reported in daily Express, the American lady Domana Mary Petit, who married a Pakistani boy Amir Khan after their love affair on the internet, was already married and had three children from her first husband. She said she has got a divorce from her first husband. She came to Pakistan and married Amir Khan with the consent of his parents. She submitted her marriage certificate and her statement in a civil court.
<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->