11-24-2006, 06:12 PM
May this is not the right thread but i need help.
I consider my self an ex-christian and i dont know now which religion is true.
Let me tell you a short story of my life.At the age of 6 i was wondering why the people die.After a while i start to study religios books.I had read many religios books(id stop counting at 200) especialy christian books ,and i become a christian my self.At first i was very entusiast and idealist.That books seems to have answer to almost any problem .I was entusiast especialy by the lifes of monks and saints and by philosophical teachings from there.But after a while ,I started to feel the fear of eternal hell,an infinite more fear comparative whit fear of death.And while study more and more i started to have doubts.The religios problems rezolved lead to more problems whit no answer.At first i didnt want to have doubts,i belive they was temptations who test my faith,and i didnt want to upset God whit my unbeliving.BUt i started to know that are many religions and i was thinking how this people belives are so diferent(other gods ,other dogmas).And even in christianity are so much types of sects and heretics.Even more,christians didnt behave nice whit non-christians as i read in history books.So i thinking ,what if im in the wrong religion and i gona go in hell because i dont know what to belive.
I had a disease back then and i start to have panic attacs(hours and days of pure terror),i was belive that i gona die and go in ETERNAL hell.I realy dont want to go there.I cant imagine something more terible.My state i can describe whit Jesus words on the cross"MY God why you had leave me".I had fell the lonliest man in the world and nobody can help me.
Sure,i think ,i made some bad things and i deserve to be punish(even milions of years) and i didnt deserve to be in heaven.But why to go in hell for the eternal torture?Now i laugh of my fear of inexistence,the fear of hell is infinite much hellish.I wish nobody such thing,not even to criminals.
I leave in a secular place and people think that im a mad man .For my huge fear i didnt succed to do nothing..
Please dont laugh of me,is the last thing i need now.But more i need an advice.
What to do?I dont know what the truth is and i dont know what to do .If anyone can give me an advice ,please do.
I consider my self an ex-christian and i dont know now which religion is true.
Let me tell you a short story of my life.At the age of 6 i was wondering why the people die.After a while i start to study religios books.I had read many religios books(id stop counting at 200) especialy christian books ,and i become a christian my self.At first i was very entusiast and idealist.That books seems to have answer to almost any problem .I was entusiast especialy by the lifes of monks and saints and by philosophical teachings from there.But after a while ,I started to feel the fear of eternal hell,an infinite more fear comparative whit fear of death.And while study more and more i started to have doubts.The religios problems rezolved lead to more problems whit no answer.At first i didnt want to have doubts,i belive they was temptations who test my faith,and i didnt want to upset God whit my unbeliving.BUt i started to know that are many religions and i was thinking how this people belives are so diferent(other gods ,other dogmas).And even in christianity are so much types of sects and heretics.Even more,christians didnt behave nice whit non-christians as i read in history books.So i thinking ,what if im in the wrong religion and i gona go in hell because i dont know what to belive.
I had a disease back then and i start to have panic attacs(hours and days of pure terror),i was belive that i gona die and go in ETERNAL hell.I realy dont want to go there.I cant imagine something more terible.My state i can describe whit Jesus words on the cross"MY God why you had leave me".I had fell the lonliest man in the world and nobody can help me.
Sure,i think ,i made some bad things and i deserve to be punish(even milions of years) and i didnt deserve to be in heaven.But why to go in hell for the eternal torture?Now i laugh of my fear of inexistence,the fear of hell is infinite much hellish.I wish nobody such thing,not even to criminals.
I leave in a secular place and people think that im a mad man .For my huge fear i didnt succed to do nothing..
Please dont laugh of me,is the last thing i need now.But more i need an advice.
What to do?I dont know what the truth is and i dont know what to do .If anyone can give me an advice ,please do.