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We Are Like This Onlee - 2
Needed: a diaper changing station at UN <!--emo&Big Grin--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo-->
1. Go to http://www.google.co.in/
2. Type "failure" (without double quotes) in the search text box
3. Press "I'm Feeling Lucky" button just next to "Google Search"
I dont know what Romeo means to the rest of the world but in ahmedabad he is not a nice guy. Amdavad police has formed a special squad which is responsible for arresting goondas who indulge in eve-teasing. The squad is called "anti romeo squad".. <!--emo&:o--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ohmy.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='ohmy.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Romeo — An Ardent Male Lover.
<!--emo&Big Grin--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Amdavad police is right on track.
<!--QuoteBegin-Mudy+Oct 7 2005, 09:43 PM-->QUOTE(Mudy @ Oct 7 2005, 09:43 PM)<!--QuoteEBegin-->1. Go to http://www.google.co.in/
2. Type "failure" (without double quotes) in the search text box
3. Press "I'm Feeling Lucky" button just next to "Google Search"

See This
recvd in email..

<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin-->A Son's letter to his Dad ............

A father passing by his Son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed.

It was addressed to "Dad"

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.

I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice-even with all her piercing's, tattoo's, and her tight Motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be very happy.
Even though you don't care for her as she is so much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.

Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son, Justin

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house.

I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer.

I love you!

Call when it is safe for me to come home!!<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
got thru mail



<!--emo&:bhappy--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/b_woot.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='b_woot.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin-->HUM HINDUSTANI
One Bengali = poet.
Two Bengalis = a film society.
Three Bengalis = political party.
Four Bengalis = two political parties.
One Bihari = Laloo Prasad Yadav.
Two Biharis = booth-capturing squad.
Three Biharis = caste killing.
Four Biharis = entire literate population of Patna.
One Punjabi =100 kg hulk named Pinky.
Two Punjabis = Pinky with his bigger brother Twinky.
Three Punjabis = assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local McDonalds.
Four Punjabis = combined IQ equal to one.
One Mallu = coconut stall.
Two Mallus = a boat race.
Three Mallus = Gulf job racket.
Four Mallus = oil slick.
UP Bhaiyya
One UP bhaiyya = a milkman.
Two UP bhaiyyas = halwai shop.
Three UP bhaiyyas = a fist-fight in the UP assembly.
<b>Four UP bhaiyyas = mosque-destruction squad.</b>
One Gujju = a share-broker in a Bombay train.
Two Gujjus = rummy game in a Bombay train.
Three Gujjus = Bombay's noisiest restaurant.
Four Gujjus = stock market scam.
One Andhraite = chilli farmer.
Two Andhraites = software company in New Jersey.
Three Andhraites = Naxalite outfit.
Four Andhraites = song-and-dance number in a Telugu movie.
One Kashmiri = carpet salesman.
Two Kashmiris = carpet factory.
Three Kashmiris = terrorist outfit.
Four Kashmiris = shoot-at-sight order.
One Tam-Brahm = priest at the Vardarajaperumal temple.
Two Tam-Brahms = maths tuition class.
Three Tam-Brahms = queue outside the U.S consulate at 4 a.m.
Four Tam-Brahms = Thyagaraja music festival in Santa Clara
One Bombayite = footpath vada-pav stall.
Two Bombayites = film studio.
Three Bombayites = slum
Four Bombayites = the number of people standing on your foot in the train
at rush hour
One Sindhi = currency racket.
Two Sindhis = papad factory.
Three Sindhis = duplicate goods shop in Ulhasnagar.
Four Sindhis = Hong Kong Retail Traders Association.
One Marwari = the neighbourhood foodstuffs adulterator.
Two Marwaris = 50% of Calcutta.
Three Marwaris = finish off all Gujaratis & Sindhis.
Four Marwaris = threaten the Jews as a community.

<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin-->Monica Bedi is missing her Portugal prison. "It used to be like a star hotel. There were many facilities in the prison, including a comfortable bed," don Abu Salem's wife Monica Bedi has told prison officials of the women's jail at Chanchalguda where she has been lodged as an undertrial in a passport forgery case. <!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--QuoteBegin-rajesh_g+Mar 5 2005, 02:24 AM-->QUOTE(rajesh_g @ Mar 5 2005, 02:24 AM)<!--QuoteEBegin-->received in mail..

<!--QuoteBegin--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin-->The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. Zen ve vil rul ze vorld<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->

awesome just awesome lol
GUJUS...just leave this ball outside the off stump,

a letter from a guju in usa to relative in india

Hello Dear(s)

Patel family in Gujarat was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother arrived from the US.
It was sent by one of the daughters. The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it When they opened the lid, they found a letter on top addressed to her Brothers and sisters:

Dear Chandrakantbhai, Arvindbhai, Mohan and Varsha,
I am sending Ba's body to you, since it was her wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in GUJARAT.

Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leave is consumed. You will find inside the coffin, under Ba's body, 12 cans of cheese, 10 packets of Tobler chocolates and 8 packets of Badam.

Please divide these among all of you. On Ba's feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes(size 10) for Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for

Radha's and Lakshmi's sons. Hope the sizes are correct. Ba is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Mohan. Just distribute the rest among yourselves. The 2 new Jeans that Ba's is wearing are for the boys.

The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on Ba's left wrist. Shanta masi, Ba is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for.

Please take them off her The 6 white cotton socks that Ba is wearing must be divided among my nephews. Please distribute all these fairly.


PS : And if anything more required let me know soon as Bapuji is also not feeling too well nowadays...
Posted by: Viren Nov 3 2003, 09:20 AM
received via email
G L O B A L I Z A T I O N ?

Question: What is a true definition of

Answer: Princess Diana's death.

Question: How come?
Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whiskey, followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles, treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines!
And this was sent to you by a Indian, using Bill Gates technology and you are probably reading this on one of the IBM clones that use Taiwanese-made chips, and Korean-made monitors, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by lorries driven by Lankans, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, trucked by Mexican illegal aliens, and finally sold to you.
That's, my friend, is Globalization !!!!

Posted by: vishal Nov 3 2003, 11:12 AM
you forgot to add INDIA in your globalisation definion. plz complete it! biggrin.gif

er.... yes from now on this is how we add india in the joke ok ???

arab wants to book flight ticket from dubai to detroit.

travel agent - name ?
arab - abu saleh masood ul hassan

travel agent - sex?
arab - everyday

travel agent - no i mean, male or female?
arab - male, female and sometimes camel
<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin-->INDIAN DREAM 2020
Year : 2020
Place : Two Americans at IBM, USA.
Currency Conversion Rate: Rs.1 = $100

Alex : Hi John, you didn't come yesterday to office?
John : Yeah, I was in Indian Embassy for stamping.
Alex:: Oh really, what happened, I heard that nowadays it has become very strict.
John : Yeah, but I managed to get it.
Alex : How long it took to get it stamped?
John : Oh, it was nasty man, long queue. Bill Gates was standing in front of me and they played with him like anything. Thats why it got delayed. I went there at 2 am itself and waited and returned by 4 pm.
Alex : Really? In India, it is a matter of an hour to get stamped for USA. g! t;
John : Yeah, but that is because who in India will be interested in coming to USA man, their economy has been booming.
Alex : So, when are you leaving?
John : Anytime, after receiving my tickets from the client in India and you know, I will be getting a chance to fly Air-India. Sort of dream come true.
Alex : How long are you going to stay in India?
John : What do you mean by how long? I will be settled in India, my company has promised me that they will process my Hara Patta.
Alex : Really, lucky person man, it is very difficult to get a Hara Patta in India.
John : Yeah, thats why, I am planning to marry an Indian girl there.
Alex : But you can find lots of US girls in Bangalore,Hyderabad and Mumbai.
John : But, I prefer Indian girls because they are beautiful and cultured.
Alex : Where did y! ou get the offer, Bangalore?
John : Yeah, salary is good there, but cost of living is quite high, it is Rs. 1000/- for a single room accommodation.
Alex : I see, that's too much for US people, Rs.1/- = $ 100/-. Oh God!What about in Chennai, Mumbai?
John : No idea, but it is less than what we have in Bangalore. It is like the world headquarters of Software.
Alex : I heard, almost all the Indians are having one personal Robot for help.
John : You can get a BMW car for Rs. 5000/-, and a personal Robot for less than Rs. 7500/-. But my dream is to purchase Ambassador, which costs Rs.200,000/- & has got a sexy design.
Alex : By the way, who is your client?
John : A pure Indian company VIPL, specializing in Embedded Software.
Alex : Oh, really, lucky to work in a pure Indian company. They are really intelligent and! unlike American Bodyshoppers who have opened their Fly-by-night outfits in India. Indian companies pay you in full even when you are on bench. My friend Paul Allen, it seems,used his bench time to visit Bihar,the most livable place in India, probably world.There you have full freedom and no restrictions.You can do whatever you want! ! I wonder how that state has perfected that system.
John : Yeah man, you are right. I hope our America also follows their footsteps.
Alex : How are you going to cope with their language?
John : Why not? From my school days I have been learning Hindi as my first language here at New York.At the Consulate they tested my proficiency in hindi and were quite impressed by my cent percent score in TOHIL i.e.Test of Hindi as International Language.
Alex : So, you! are going to have fun there.
John : Yeah, I will be travelling in the world's fastest train, world's largest theme park, and the famous Bollywood where you can see actors like, Hrithik, and all. Esselworld is also near to Bollywood.
Alex : You know, the PM is scheduled to visit US next year,he may then relax the number of visas.
John : That's true. Last month, Narayanamurthy visited White House and donated Rs. 2000/- for infrastructure development at Silicon Valley and has promised more if we follow the model of Silicon City of Bangalore.Bill Gates also got a chance of meeting him. Very lucky person.
Alex : But, Indian government is planning to split Narayanamurthy's Infosys.
John : He is a hard worker man, he can build any number of Infosys like this. Every minute he is getting Rs. 1000/-. It ! seems, if you keep all his money converted as Rs. 100/- notes you can reach Pluto.
Alex : OK, Good Luck John.
John : Same to you Alex. And don't go to Consulate in a Kurta Pyjama because they will think you are too Indianised and may doubt you will ever come back and hence your Non-Immigrant Visa may get rejected.But don't forget to say"Namaste, aap kaise hai" to the Visa officer at Window 5. It seems he likes that and will not give you a visa if you don't greet him that way. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



nice one ..... why end with the hindi translation of WE SHALL OVERCOME.??

should have been something like KADAM KADAM BADHAY JA !
One of the Hindutva people I know showed me this site, I think everyone here will have a good laugh if you look at it:


From the same website:

<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin-->"Three heads

Swāmi normally uses a large pillow in His bed. One day Smt. Bhavani removed the regular pillow and replaced it by a small pillow. The next morning, after a disturbed sleep, Swāmi brought up the issue with Smt. Bhavani, “You have kept a small pillow for Me on My bed. How can a small pillow be sufficient for My three heads? (Lord Datta is symbolically represented by a human form having three heads. The three heads are of the Lord in the aspects of Creator, Sustainer and Destroyer of creation.) Just because you are not able to see My three-headed form, how did you assume that the three heads do not exist?All three of My heads need rest; not just one.  <!--emo&:roll--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ROTFL.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='ROTFL.gif' /><!--endemo--> The small pillow that you have kept cannot accommodate all three heads. If you do not believe what I am saying, go and see the pillow on my bed”. you do not believe what I am saying, go and see the pillow on my bed”. Smt. Bhavani, along with some other devotees went to Swāmi’s room and saw the small pillow, which had an impression in the center corresponding to the central head and impressions at the edges of the pillows where the other two heads might have been. All the devotees saw that and were shocked with surprise. By this incident, Swāmi proved that He should not be limited only to His visible physical form."<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I couldn't stop laughing when I was reading that site, seems like one of these modern day Swami frauds, he should be discredited before gullible Hindus start following him (like they followed Gandhi). He lives in Vijayawada (AP), thats an hour away from my mom's village, maybe next time I visit I can get this fraud, meanwhile I will forward this to Hindus and any Muslim Jihadists I come across on the net (and we all know how they deal with such blasphemers), that way Hindus wouldn't have to deal with this fraud.
Hotel LUDIfornia (the ludiana equivalent of hotel california)

On the dark GT highway
Pagdi patka in my hair
Warm smell of some dhabas
Rising up in the air
Up ahead in the distance
I saw a ttharra joint
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I must have drunk over a pint
There he stood in the drive way
I heard his truck helper yell
And I was thinking to myself
This had to be Devinder Singh Behl
Then he belched, and scratched his head
And he was on the highway
And the other drivers leaning from their truck car doors
I thought I heard them say
Welcome to the hotel LUDIfornia
Vaddi changi place (vaddi changi place)
Vaddi changi place
Massage, manicure, pedicure at LUDIfornia
Any kind of ear (any kind of ear)
You can clean it here

His car's grill was definitely twisted
He's got a Maruti-Benz
He's got a lot of petty petty MLAs
Whom he calls friends
Dancing bhangra in the courtyard
See surdie sweat
Some dancer is this Devinder
Armpits stinking wet
So I told the bell captain
I's made a reservation online
And he said, oye khoteyya our internet hasnt worked at all Since Y2K - 1999
And still those drivers were calling from the drive way
Woke me in the middle of the night
I know I heard them say

Welcome to the hotel LUDIfornia
Itthey karlo rest (itthey karlo rest)
Itthey karlo rest
Aish karo at the hotel LUDIfornia
Kudi umr bais (kudi umr bais)
Will serve you nice

Daler on the ceiling
And on the walls in every guise
And waitresses dressed like actresses
From flicks of Subhash Ghai's
And in the downstairs canteen
I sat down for my meal
Butter chicken, and sarson da saag
Had a shock when they showed me the bill
Looking for help I saw Devinder
Dancing wildly on the floor
I had to find my hostess back
Oh where is this Gurpreet Kaur?
Relax said Milkha Singh
Play golf with my son Jeev
Tu ban gaya Punjab da puttar
Now you cant ever leave

So here I am,
Wasting life at the Hotel LUDIfornia
Vaddi changi place (vaddi changi place)
Vaddi changi place
Converted to member of Hotel LUDIfornia
Whoever arrives (whoever arrives)
Stays till he dies !!!
<b>Pak economic superiority to beat India: Musharraf</b>

<b>ISLAMABAD : President Gen Pervez Musharraf on Thursday said Pakistan would get an edge over India by achieving economic superiority rather than indulging in an arms race.</b>

Addressing the launching ceremony of Centre of Excellence for Advanced Training and Research for Strategic Needs at the Nescom Headquarters, he said they were well aware of their defence needs and would utilise all resources for making the defence of the country impregnable and would be making their weapons system more sophisticated.

<b>The president said Pakistan was a peace-loving country and wanted cordial and friendly relations with all its neighbours and also wanted to work for maintaining peace in the region. "In today’s era it is not the weapon superiority that makes the country strong but strong economy and prosperity of the people that contribute to making the nation strong."</b>

Therefore, he added, the government would not indulge in any arms race with India but would achieve an edge over India by gaining economic superiority. "It is knowledge which will take us ahead and raise Pakistan’s statue in the eyes of the world comity," the president said.

In order to achieve economic superiority, the president said, the government would focus its budget spending on education and science and in this regard a budget of Rs 20 billion had been earmarked for higher education sector.

The president said they were committed to promoting higher education in the country and lauded Chairman HEC Atta-ur-Rehman’s initiatives in this regard. He added they were also sensitive to the requirements for attaining scientific superiority in various disciplines.

<b>Musharraf said in order to make Pakistan stronger in all frontiers they would also be conquering the space frontiers with the help of their close friend China. <span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>He said Pakistan would soon be sending its own astronaut into space with the help of China and talks in this direction had already been held with the Chinese president, who has agreed to help them out.</span></b>

The ceremony was attended by deputy chairman planning Akram Sheikh, PAEC chairman Dr Pervez Butt, KRL chairman and National Center for Physics Director General Dr Riazuddin. Meanwhile President Musharraf said the government was putting in place state-of-the-art facilities to turn Pakistan into an energy corridor for fast-paced development in the region.

Speaking to a four-member delegation of British Petroleum, headed by Chief Executive Exploration and Production Tony Hayward, the president said Pakistan would facilitate foreign investors in setting up oil refineries at Gwadar as part of its efforts to utilise its key strategic potential.

"Pakistan is at the heart of Central Asia, South Asia, the Gulf states and western parts of China. We are nearing completion of the Gwadar deep seaport," he said. "A network of roads linking the southern port with western and northern parts of the country is already under way to make Pakistan a hub of regional trade and energy corridor."

Musharraf said all these regions can do trade through Pakistan, welcoming the keen interest shown by British Petroleum, the top petroleum company of the UK, in the fields of exploration and privatisation. He encouraged British Petroleum, which is already engaged in offshore drilling in the country, to take part in onshore exploration.

"In view of rapidly increasing agrarian and industrial requirements of Pakistan at the back of high economic growth in the last few years, the international investors have an array of promising business possibilities in energy-related fields," he president remarked.

The British Petroleum delegation’s head informed Musharraf about his company’s business in Pakistan and said the company specialises in laying oil and gas pipelines. He appreciated Pakistan’s recent economic strides and said the investor-friendly policies and the top leadership’s commitment to facilitating foreign investment had made Pakistan a preferable destination for entrepreneurs.

Cheers <!--emo&:beer--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/cheers.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='cheers.gif' /><!--endemo-->
very astute of you to to put the dictator's fantasy in the humour thread !!!
was emailed to me:

How do u CUT roads?????
Because "Haste Haste Cut jaye Raste"
Luv and Saala are going to a village & in between
comes A well. Luv falls into the well. Why???
Because Luv (love) is blind !!!!!
Now , Saala also jumps inside. Why??????????????
Because Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!
Jackie ....Chain ki saas ka naam kya hai?.. ???
socho....... nahi pata..??
Answer- D'Cold......Chain ki saans - D'cold
Chalo ab batao Jackie.... Chain ki bahu ka naam kya hai ?
This is quite simple.. .....
Ans: D'Cold again.......Kyun key saas bhi kabhi bahu thi :-))
A beggar meets another beggar.
A software engineer meets another software engineer.
Both of them ask the same question to each other.
What is the question ???
So, Which Platform are you Working on ???....
Question: What will u call a person who is
leaving India??
Answer : Hindustan Lever (Leaver).
Question: What will u call a person who leaves India,but doesn't travel
Answer: Hindustan Lever Ltd (Limited).
Ans: Sita MEMORY hai
Q -Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam
kya tha ?

Ans: Adidas.
Q - Prasad asks Kumble to bring a pepsi... Kumble
brings a bottle of pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar. why ?? why ??
Ans: Tendulkar is an opener

Q - What is similarity between "Satynarayan Pooja"
and "Indian Cricket Team"
Ans: Dono ke ant me "Prasad" aataa hai

Q - Who is Joe?
"Kambakth ishq" - Because "Kambakth ishq hai Joe!"

And of course, the grand final............The
Madrasi said, I want to
see the movie 'heart is umbrella'. Which movie did
he really want to see?
Dil Chhata Hai.......

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