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We Are Like This Onlee - 2

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We Are Like This Onlee - 2
<i><b>There will be no Nativity Scene in Washington this year! The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the United States' Capital this Christmas season. This isn't for any religious reason. They simply have not been able to find Three Wise Men in the Nation's Capital.. A search for a Virgin continues. There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable</b></i>
  Reply
: <!--emo&:thumbdown--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/thumbsdownsmileyanim.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='thumbsdownsmileyanim.gif' /><!--endemo--> ब्रिटिश अखबार सन् के मुताबिक वकील समीर चौहान शादीशुदा हैं और दो बच्चों का पिता है। उन्होंने सेक्रटरी के पोस्ट के लिए अप्लाई करने वाली युवतियों से बायोडाटा और फोटो के अलावा फिगर का ब्यौरा भी मांगा था। एक लड़की ने इसके लिए जब रुचि दिखाई तो जवाबी मेल में चौहान ने लिखा ऑफिस के काम के अलावा आपको हम दोनों पार्टनरों के साथ अकेले और कभी-कभी एक साथ सेक्स भी करना होगा। चौहान ने उससे यह भी कहा कि ऑफिस उसे उत्तेजक कपड़े पहनकर आने होंगे और कामुक अंदाज में बातचीत करनी होगी।
min translation: nri in Britain gave an ad for Secy w/ qualifications as to have sex with the whole company etc.
http://navbharattimes.indiatimes.com/art...171620.cms
true(satya katha) story.
  Reply
PUNJABI CONFIDENCE


George Bush was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang.

'Hello, Mr. Bush!' a heavily accented voice said, 'This is Gurmukh from Phagwara, District Kapurthala, Punjab .. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring the war on you!'


'Well, Gurmukh,' Bush replied, 'This is indeed important news! How big is your army?'

'Right now,' said Gurmukh, after a moment's calculation, 'there is myself, my cousin Sukhdev, my next door neighbor Bhagat, and the entire kabaddi team from the gurudwara. That makes eight.'


Bush paused. 'I must tell you, Gurmukh that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.'

'Arrey O! Main kya..' said Gurmukh. 'I'll have to ring you back!'


Sure enough, the next day, Gurmukh called again.

'Mr. Bush, it is Gurmukh, I'm calling from Phagwara STD, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment.'

'And what equipment would that be, Gurmukh?' Bush asked.


'Well, we have two combines, a donkey and Amrik's tractor.'

Bush sighed. 'I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke.'


'Oh teri....' said Gurmukh. 'I'll have to get back to you.'

Sure enough, Gurmukh rang again the next day.

'Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne.... .. We've modified Amrik's tractor by adding a couple of shotguns, sticking on some wings and the pind's generator. Four school pass boys from Malpur have joined us as well!'


Bush was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!'


'Tera bhala hove....' said Gurmuk, 'I'll have to ring you back.'

Sure enough, Gurmukh called again the next day.

'Kiddan, Mr.Bush! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war.'


'I'm sorry to hear that,' said Bush. 'Why the sudden change of heart?'

'Well,' said Gurmukh, 'we've all had a long chat over a couple of lassi's, and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners of wars!!'

NOW, THAT'S CALLED PUNJABI CONFIDENCE!!
  Reply
During business conference Bush humor -

<b>Bush humour:</b>

As we would say in Texas, “Wall Street got drunk, we got the hangover.”

As president, you get paid – but not very much – to make tough calls.

I was raised by a strong woman, married a strong woman and raised two strong women. So, yeah, I know strong women.

Giving talks like these is what my Dad calls white collar crime.
  Reply
www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1929454,00.html
<b>Students paid to go to class and get good grades
Should Students Be Paid to Do Well in School?</b>
<!--emo&:furious--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/furious.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='furious.gif' /><!--endemo-->

No! NO. NOOO.
It's too late. How dare they consider these things *after* I have finished studying.

To think that if I had got paid for it, I might have actually tried and done well. But I didn't get paid. So, No:
"If I can't be happy, everyone else must be miserable toooo!" <!--emo&:lol:--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='laugh.gif' /><!--endemo-->
(I think such profound sentiments are called egalitarianism or sharing or something. I'm very full of such fellow-feeling. Shouldn't knock one's few good qualities.)


<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin-->Few things in France can provoke heated debate faster than moves to tinker with the country's vaunted public-education system, which embodies republican values that date back to the French Revolution. It's especially true when the changes involve an idea as capitalistic and nonegalitarian as paying certain students — the ones most apt to fail and drop out — to attend classes and get good grades.

This is exactly what's happening in a pilot program that started this month at three vocational high schools in disadvantaged suburbs of Paris. Accounts will be set up for two classes in each school, each containing around $3,000 apiece. If the students maintain good attendance records and reach performance targets agreed upon with their teachers, reward payments will be added to their class account. But here's the catch: the students can't go and spend the money on a new iPod or an Xbox at the end of the year. Each account, which could reach a maximum of <b>$15,000</b>, can only be used to finance a school-related project or endeavor, such as <b>a class trip abroad to improve foreign-language skills</b>, computer equipment for the classroom or driving lessons to obtain a license. Still, not a bad deal.<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->That's it! I'm re-enrolling. <i>In France.</i> (Need to study some French first, uh-oh.... At least I still know bits of the French national anthem. Does that count. But hey yeah! Since my foreign language skills desperately need improving, I should qualify for funding for my Special Needs <!--emo&:lol:--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='laugh.gif' /><!--endemo-->)
Yeah right. Not going back to school. Not for any money.
  Reply

<b>Mods :</b> Cannot think on which thread the following should be posted.

Please move to appropriate thread :

<b>Caught on camera : naked love rival flees furious husband</b>

<b>A naked man who climbed out of a window and hid on the ledge to escape his lover's furious husband has been caught on camera.</b>

[center]<img src='http://i.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01514/Love-cheat_1514001c.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' />
<b>Love cheat Sun Meng has been given the cold shoulder by his community after pictures of him
cowering naked on an air conditioner were posted online by a furious husband. Photo : CEN</b>[/center]

Sun Meng has been given the cold shoulder by his community after the extraordinary picture of him cowering naked outside the flat were posted on the internet.

The terrified 25-year-old fled from the balcony window when he was caught in bed with the man's wife at the married couple's flat in Chengdu, central China.

Photographs of the angry showdown, taken by a startled neighbour, were uploaded to a local community website.

They show Sun perched on the first floor ledge while his lover is confronted by her unnamed husband inside.

"My family is ashamed and none of my own neighbours will talk to me any more," said Sun.

"I know what I did was wrong but I was afraid he would kill me.

"People are even laughing at how I look naked – but I have to point out it was a very cold day," he added.

Chengdu, capital of the Sichuan province in south-western China, has a population of about 11 million.

In 2003, the Chinese government relaxed its traditional hold over the private lives of its subjects by allowing them to marry without the permission of their bosses.

The government published three lengthy documents dealing with marriage laws and population control.

Cheers <!--emo&:beer--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/cheers.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='cheers.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  Reply
<!--emo&Big Grin--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo--> Abuse Hindus and be Intellectual
हमारे बुद्धिजीवियों नें एक नई शब्दावली का निर्माण किया है , जिसको समझना अति आवश्यक है। नई-नई परिभाषाएं गढ़ी गई हैं। नए नए सांकेतिक शब्द ( code word ) गढ़े गए हैं। आइये इस पर भी एक नज़र डाल लें। माओवादी डिक्टेटरशिप के लिए इस्तेमाल किया जाने वाले ' कोड वर्ड ( code word ) हैं ' जनवादी , ' ' जन आंदोलन ' ' जन तंत्र ' । इसी प्रकार ' मानवाधिकार ' का मतलब है आतंकवादियों , अपराधियों और माओवादियों द्वारा निरीह और निरपराध आम आदमियों की हत्या करने का अधिकार। बिना कोड वर्ड समझे आप इन बुद्धिजीवियों की बातों को नहीं समझ सकते। है न कितना आसान सेक्युलर और बुद्धिजीवी बनना।

संपर्कः singhsshankar@gmail.com
  Reply
<!--emo&Tongue--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tongue.gif' /><!--endemo--> The terrorists, according to sources, will be employed in a range of activities such as extortion, drug trafficking, trade in nuke weapon components and enriched uranium, plotting of low intensity dummy attacks, training para military forces and some may even be sent to china to quell the freedom movement in Tibet. PESTER will be launched under ISI supervision and will have a separate budget.

It may be remembered that Pakistan had tied up with a fast food chain to provide a free meal and toy to listed terrorists once every month.
http://content.msn.co.in/msncontribute/sto...49-42169ac7d2e5
  Reply
<b>Woman hit by train while taking photos on Tupelo tracks seeks millions from railroad</b><!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin-->JACKSON, Miss. -- Helen Gable was taking pictures on the railroad tracks in Tupelo in 2006 when a train cut her leg nearly off as she tried to get out of the way.
<b>Gable and her husband are suing the BNSF Railway Co. for nearly $6 million. The husband wants $575,000 for "his mental anguish and loss of consortium and sexual relations with his wife."</b>
Helen Gable says in the lawsuit that the company should have posted no-trespassing signs to keep people away from the tracks.
She also claims the train was exceeding federal speed limits and that she was injured by a cable or wire that shouldn't have been hanging off the side of the train, according to the lawsuit, which was first filed in Mississippi state court then transferred last week to U.S. District Court.
"Helen Gable, while taking pictures of her niece's daughter, was exercising due care" while standing on the tracks, the lawsuit said.
Gable's foot got stuck in the rocks about six feet from the tracks when she tried to get out of the way, the lawsuit says. It took six surgeries to repair the damage to her right leg.
BNSF Railway Company spokeswoman Suann Lundsberg said the company is investigating and is sympathetic to Gable's injuries. But Lundsberg also said Gable "admits in her lawsuit filing that she was trespassing" to take photos on the track.
"What may have seemed a harmless photo opportunity is among the more dangerous activities any human being can engage in with a railroad," Lundsberg said.
Lundsberg also said BNSF has equipment that detects if something is hanging or dragging from a train.<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
  Reply
Can you dismantle this conclusions?



1-Temperats(like europeans above 40 parallel and east asians) are

-high IQ

-technical oriented

-less religious

-less violent,more reason over instincts





2-Tropicals (africans)are

-low IQ-which translate in

-difficulty in using complex technology(resulting poverty)

-more violent,being less IQ they have more instinctual behavior.

-more conservative

-artistic oriented(from yantras and persian carpets to hip hop and techno)

-religious
  Reply
This is original video.



drunk musharraf dancing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pn-3fznbM...re=related



Ex President of Pakistan Pervez Musharaf Dancing with Chitral Polo Team

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7m9meVPsF...re=related
  Reply
double post
  Reply
came via email..



News Headlines in 2025





POLITICS



* President Sonia Gandhi and Prime Minister Rahul Gandhi receive Italian Prime Minister Priyanka Gandhi.

* Fight in Parliament to grab the next seat beside newly elected MPs Mallika Sheravat, Sherlyn Chopra and Rakhi Sawant.

* Mayawati all set to install her 10,000 statue in UP Assembly.

* Jayalalitha and Karunanidhi signed a 100 years deal to rotate power in Tamil Nadu every 2 years.

* Raj Thackerey and his supporters fighting for a separate state for Marathi Manoos. All set to form 76th Indian state.





TV and CINEMA



* Dhoom-17 ready for release.

* Salman, Vivek and Abhishek attend Aishwarya's 3rd marriage.

* Mein to ab bhi jawan hoon - Dev Anand's new movie set for release where he plays son of Aamir Khan Madhuri Dixit.

* After remakes of 45 films of Amitabh, Shahrukh now to play Amitabh's role in remake of 'Paa' .

* Amitabh's new movie with Shahrukh Khan's daughter 'Ek aur Nishabdh'.

* Kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi completed 2,50,000 episodes Baa has completed 111 yrs.

* A cap found in Mithi river - Sources say it belonged to a species called Himesh Reshammiya.





SPORTS



* I will play next world cup - Sachin Tendulkar

* Lalit Modi to inagurate IPL Season-20 next week.

* Jayasuriya celebrated his 56th birthday with a century against Australia in a T20 match.

* Coach Ganguly resigns, as India went out of The World Cup in 1st round after losing to South Korea.

* Navjot Siddhu will launch his own TV channel where he is the Host the Guest too.





TECH



* Maruti launches its new Hovercraft 'SX-25'. Toyota to follow.

* Hyundai launches its new car i420.

* TRAI to add another 2 digits to mobile numbers. New numbers would soon have 20 digits.

* Intel launched its latest processor Intel Core10 Trio.





NATION



* Petrol Rs. 900 / ltr.

* Gold touched all time high 1,00,000 rupiah per 10 grams.

* Temperature set to touch 60°C mark in summer this year.

* Govt subsidized vegetables by 50%. Subsidized onion to cost Rs.200 per kg.

* Textile industry incurred loses of Rs.1,000 crores. Ministry blames bollywood actress
  Reply
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JStGyqlaPiI&NR=1[/media]
  Reply
[url="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1239841/Youre-doing-wrong-Chinese-demolition-men-accidentally-create-leaning-tower-Liuzhou.html"]You're doing it wrong! Chinese demolition men accidentally create the leaning tower of Liuzhou[/url]
  Reply
Gipsy wedding dance in Bucharest. <img src='http://www.india-forum.com/forums/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='Rolleyes' />

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKKslgj3rkY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miY7ZpB7I...re=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9njZkrs0RUk
  Reply
[Image: maxine1.jpg]
  Reply
[Image: maxine11.jpg]
  Reply
lol
  Reply
Came in email. Since we don't have a poetry thread, let me post it here.

Quote:the car number of ND Tiwari - 1733 - Read the last line to know why!!



His Sexcellency Tiwari Narayan Dutt

Of many a crude joke, you have become the butt.





Sordid details of your nocturnal capers

Have appeared in all the national papers.

I see no reason why you they so berate,

When you were just conducting 'affairs' of state.







Alas, the guv's post, with its froppery and pomp

Strictly forbids even a clandestine romp.

And you so carelessly went on a spree,

Not with one or two, but an unforgivable three !







'Night watchman' in cricket, tis all part of the game,

At your age, your deed's hardly a matter of shame.

(Other guvs, so dull, their posts they doth mock,

Most cannot hear, some cannot even walk.)







In fairness, all should give you a big hand,

But your bosses took an uncompromising stand.

Tis unfair when your performance so grand

Should merit applause and not a reprimand.







Unfortunately for all, they took a strong line,

When you should have got away with just a small fine.

Yes old man, despite the taunts and the jeers,

I applaud you expansively - Three Cheers !!!







Rohit Shekhar now says that he is your son,

I know, I know, tis easier said than done.

Say it proudly, old man, or would you rather

Deny that you're his biological father?







Videos ! - crass weapons, capturing the morbid sleaze,

Just coz you went back on a promised mining lease;

And the woman, thus cheated, did a harsh sting,

And got you filmed in an ungovernor-like fling.







Cameras are deadly weapons - an undisputed fact,

They aim, they shoot each and every act.

Defamation charges, rightly, you decline to press,

I understand, why stir further the mess?







Cheers Tiwari, to you I raise a toast:

They will soon fit you in some suitable post.



============ ======



Now for the mystery of the car number:







EK Saath Theen THEEN!!
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