<i><b>There will be no Nativity Scene in Washington this year! The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the United States' Capital this Christmas season. This isn't for any religious reason. They simply have not been able to find Three Wise Men in the Nation's Capital.. A search for a Virgin continues. There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable</b></i>
George Bush was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang.
'Hello, Mr. Bush!' a heavily accented voice said, 'This is Gurmukh from Phagwara, District Kapurthala, Punjab .. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring the war on you!'
'Well, Gurmukh,' Bush replied, 'This is indeed important news! How big is your army?'
'Right now,' said Gurmukh, after a moment's calculation, 'there is myself, my cousin Sukhdev, my next door neighbor Bhagat, and the entire kabaddi team from the gurudwara. That makes eight.'
Bush paused. 'I must tell you, Gurmukh that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.'
'Arrey O! Main kya..' said Gurmukh. 'I'll have to ring you back!'
Sure enough, the next day, Gurmukh called again.
'Mr. Bush, it is Gurmukh, I'm calling from Phagwara STD, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment.'
'And what equipment would that be, Gurmukh?' Bush asked.
'Well, we have two combines, a donkey and Amrik's tractor.'
Bush sighed. 'I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke.'
'Oh teri....' said Gurmukh. 'I'll have to get back to you.'
Sure enough, Gurmukh rang again the next day.
'Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne.... .. We've modified Amrik's tractor by adding a couple of shotguns, sticking on some wings and the pind's generator. Four school pass boys from Malpur have joined us as well!'
Bush was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!'
'Tera bhala hove....' said Gurmuk, 'I'll have to ring you back.'
Sure enough, Gurmukh called again the next day.
'Kiddan, Mr.Bush! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war.'
'I'm sorry to hear that,' said Bush. 'Why the sudden change of heart?'
'Well,' said Gurmukh, 'we've all had a long chat over a couple of lassi's, and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners of wars!!'
11-01-2009, 02:17 PM (This post was last modified: 11-01-2009, 02:23 PM by Husky.)
www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1929454,00.html
<b>Students paid to go to class and get good grades
Should Students Be Paid to Do Well in School?</b>
<!--emo&:furious--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/furious.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='furious.gif' /><!--endemo-->
No! NO. NOOO.
It's too late. How dare they consider these things *after* I have finished studying.
To think that if I had got paid for it, I might have actually tried and done well. But I didn't get paid. So, No:
"If I can't be happy, everyone else must be miserable toooo!" <!--emo&:lol:--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='laugh.gif' /><!--endemo-->
(I think such profound sentiments are called egalitarianism or sharing or something. I'm very full of such fellow-feeling. Shouldn't knock one's few good qualities.)
<!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin-->Few things in France can provoke heated debate faster than moves to tinker with the country's vaunted public-education system, which embodies republican values that date back to the French Revolution. It's especially true when the changes involve an idea as capitalistic and nonegalitarian as paying certain students â the ones most apt to fail and drop out â to attend classes and get good grades.
This is exactly what's happening in a pilot program that started this month at three vocational high schools in disadvantaged suburbs of Paris. Accounts will be set up for two classes in each school, each containing around $3,000 apiece. If the students maintain good attendance records and reach performance targets agreed upon with their teachers, reward payments will be added to their class account. But here's the catch: the students can't go and spend the money on a new iPod or an Xbox at the end of the year. Each account, which could reach a maximum of <b>$15,000</b>, can only be used to finance a school-related project or endeavor, such as <b>a class trip abroad to improve foreign-language skills</b>, computer equipment for the classroom or driving lessons to obtain a license. Still, not a bad deal.<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->That's it! I'm re-enrolling. <i>In France.</i> (Need to study some French first, uh-oh.... At least I still know bits of the French national anthem. Does that count. But hey yeah! Since my foreign language skills desperately need improving, I should qualify for funding for my Special Needs <!--emo&:lol:--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='laugh.gif' /><!--endemo-->)
Yeah right. Not going back to school. Not for any money.
<b>A naked man who climbed out of a window and hid on the ledge to escape his lover's furious husband has been caught on camera.</b>
[center]<img src='http://i.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01514/Love-cheat_1514001c.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' />
<b>Love cheat Sun Meng has been given the cold shoulder by his community after pictures of him
cowering naked on an air conditioner were posted online by a furious husband. Photo : CEN</b>[/center]
Sun Meng has been given the cold shoulder by his community after the extraordinary picture of him cowering naked outside the flat were posted on the internet.
The terrified 25-year-old fled from the balcony window when he was caught in bed with the man's wife at the married couple's flat in Chengdu, central China.
Photographs of the angry showdown, taken by a startled neighbour, were uploaded to a local community website.
They show Sun perched on the first floor ledge while his lover is confronted by her unnamed husband inside.
"My family is ashamed and none of my own neighbours will talk to me any more," said Sun.
"I know what I did was wrong but I was afraid he would kill me.
"People are even laughing at how I look naked â but I have to point out it was a very cold day," he added.
Chengdu, capital of the Sichuan province in south-western China, has a population of about 11 million.
In 2003, the Chinese government relaxed its traditional hold over the private lives of its subjects by allowing them to marry without the permission of their bosses.
The government published three lengthy documents dealing with marriage laws and population control.
<!--emo&--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tongue.gif' /><!--endemo--> The terrorists, according to sources, will be employed in a range of activities such as extortion, drug trafficking, trade in nuke weapon components and enriched uranium, plotting of low intensity dummy attacks, training para military forces and some may even be sent to china to quell the freedom movement in Tibet. PESTER will be launched under ISI supervision and will have a separate budget.
<b>Woman hit by train while taking photos on Tupelo tracks seeks millions from railroad</b><!--QuoteBegin-->QUOTE<!--QuoteEBegin-->JACKSON, Miss. -- Helen Gable was taking pictures on the railroad tracks in Tupelo in 2006 when a train cut her leg nearly off as she tried to get out of the way.
<b>Gable and her husband are suing the BNSF Railway Co. for nearly $6 million. The husband wants $575,000 for "his mental anguish and loss of consortium and sexual relations with his wife."</b>
Helen Gable says in the lawsuit that the company should have posted no-trespassing signs to keep people away from the tracks.
She also claims the train was exceeding federal speed limits and that she was injured by a cable or wire that shouldn't have been hanging off the side of the train, according to the lawsuit, which was first filed in Mississippi state court then transferred last week to U.S. District Court.
"Helen Gable, while taking pictures of her niece's daughter, was exercising due care" while standing on the tracks, the lawsuit said.
Gable's foot got stuck in the rocks about six feet from the tracks when she tried to get out of the way, the lawsuit says. It took six surgeries to repair the damage to her right leg.
BNSF Railway Company spokeswoman Suann Lundsberg said the company is investigating and is sympathetic to Gable's injuries. But Lundsberg also said Gable "admits in her lawsuit filing that she was trespassing" to take photos on the track.
"What may have seemed a harmless photo opportunity is among the more dangerous activities any human being can engage in with a railroad," Lundsberg said.
Lundsberg also said BNSF has equipment that detects if something is hanging or dragging from a train.<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
[url="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1239841/Youre-doing-wrong-Chinese-demolition-men-accidentally-create-leaning-tower-Liuzhou.html"]You're doing it wrong! Chinese demolition men accidentally create the leaning tower of Liuzhou[/url]